I like how you included a person in the shot with that great expression! It captures the anticipation of getting the first bite. The arrangement and decoration on and around the cake looks very tasty. I do have two suggestions on how to further improve the visual appeal. First off I suggest to boast the contrast just a tad - the whipped cream puffs on the top of the cake needs a bit more contrast for the swirl pattern to pop - some areas have the highlights to high that I cannot see the details. Just a small boast would also increase the depth in the overall image resulting in all elements more defined with the difference between light and shadow. Lastly, I think it would show off the girl's expression better if you had the model stand a little higher. That way the cropped version would just have the mouth only and it would not be partially obscured by the strawberries.
You could crop this much closer on the sides and bottom, even to the point of losing some of the cake, without losing context. The presentation doesn't quite match the concept: the concept is whimsical but the presentation is a little plain, with everything evenly spaced and centered.
This is a tough challenge to vote. I'm torn between "what are you trying to do here" and "what do I expect here". Further complicating matters is the question "what would I do here".
What I would expect would be a technically strong piece of eye-candy that would present the dessert in a way that I would want to at least sample it, if not order it. Along these lines I'm looking at technicals: backgrounds, distracting elements, exposure, sharpness. I'm also looking for creativity, imagination, and originality, which can make up for less than perfect technicals.
So, where does this leave me with your image?
While I appreciate your effort, this image doesn't really work for me. I'm not even sure how I would approach this. More than likely, this is the image I would come up with, I'd end up splitting it with my daughter, and appreciate that time more than the score I'd end up with at dpc.
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