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12/13/2010 06:14:44 PM · #26 |
"Doesn't have the sense that God gave a soda cracker..."
Exceedingly dumb or lacking in basic common sense. |
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12/13/2010 06:20:32 PM · #27 |
"It's six of one or a half-dozen of the other" when there's little real difference between two options, as in most elections. See also:
"Choosing the lesser of two evils" |
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12/13/2010 07:16:57 PM · #28 |
I always like the "shys":
"He's two bricks shy of a load."
"He's one bean shy of a burrito."
Sayings like that, referring to someone's perceived stupidity.
R. |
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12/13/2010 08:16:08 PM · #29 |
The shy's are great.
He's one clown short of a circus always cracks me up. |
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12/13/2010 08:17:58 PM · #30 |
| No such thing as an ugly woman, somes just better than others... |
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12/13/2010 08:30:10 PM · #31 |
| My blind date had a nice personality. |
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12/13/2010 08:48:09 PM · #32 |
| One of my students (and some older men I know) used to say, "Happy as a puppy with two peckers." |
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12/13/2010 08:56:41 PM · #33 |
| My grandfather used to refer to bald men as fiveheads. As in... "the hairline is so far back he doesn't have a forehead, he has a fivehead". My grandfather was full of great wisdom, such as "Right is right!" and "dead men tell no tales" (reference Jimmy Hoffa, an old friend). I could go on for days. |
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12/13/2010 09:11:00 PM · #34 |
don't go off all half cocked/ Think before you act
no sense crying over spilled milk/ whats done is done
Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite/ self explanatory
Better late than never/ self explanatory
The apple of his eye/ like her best, in love with her
barking up the wrong tree/ getting upset at the wrong person or thing
The ball is in your court/ you've said what you need to say, now its up to the other person to respond or reciprocate
The grass is always greener on the other side/ Always wanting what you don't have
Bit off more than he could chew/ taking on more than you can handle
don't burn all of your bridges/ make so many enemies you don't have a friend when you need one
By the skin of your teeth/ just barely escaped
The straw that broke the camels back/ once you reach a certain point even a small thing can set you off.
Got up on the wrong side of the bed/ in a bad mood
Message edited by author 2010-12-13 21:12:02. |
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12/13/2010 09:21:36 PM · #35 |
preachin' to the choir -- arguing with someone who agrees with you, basically
Message edited by author 2010-12-13 21:21:49. |
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12/13/2010 10:09:54 PM · #36 |
"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar" -- you'll get better results if you're nice instead of mean ...
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" -- perhaps better-suited to family reunions than a contest site ... :-( |
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12/13/2010 11:05:23 PM · #37 |
Family sayings:
"s/he gets my nanny!"
"s/he gives me a pain in the ankle, two joints higher!" |
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12/14/2010 09:11:21 AM · #38 |
Some I like to use on my kids:
"Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken."
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on"
In reference to Winter weather in Wisconsin:
"Colder than a well-digger's ass" or
"Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra" or
"Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"
In reference to someone's observed stupidity ;-)
"Not the sharpest picket in the fence"
"Not the brightest bulb in the fixture"
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer"
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12/14/2010 09:30:47 AM · #39 |
One particular Australian-ism, from the movie The Adventures of Barry MacKenzie:
Dry as a dead dingo's donga.
There are a few meanings the last word could encompass, I'll leave it to the imagination.
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12/14/2010 09:39:08 AM · #40 |
A friend's granny reportedly liked to say someone was "As queer as Dick's hat band."
I don't know if she meant unusual or homosexual.
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12/14/2010 10:30:41 AM · #41 |
"Dumber than a rope"
"His elevator doesn't go to the top floor"
"The lights are on, but nobody is home."
"Two picks shy of a peck."
"You're cuter than a pack of speckled puppies" (This was supposedly a pick-up line...)
"If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose..."
"That brain inside your head must be like a BB in a box car." |
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12/14/2010 11:49:53 AM · #42 |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
How about a "shotgun wedding"? This a forced wedding, the idea being that the groom is being forced to the altar at the business end of a shotgun.
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This thread needs some photos.
Can't get there from here.
Kickin' butt & takin' names.
Suckin' hind tit
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12/14/2010 07:37:29 PM · #43 |
Self-deprecation:
"I'm so poor I can't even pay attention"
"I'm so poor the moths in my wallet have starved to death"
"I feel lower than a snake's belly"
"I'm so far behind I think I'm first!"
Miscellaneous:
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on"
"Almost only counts in horseshoes, atom bombs and back seats of cars"
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12/14/2010 09:01:00 PM · #44 |
Originally posted by kirbic:
"Almost only counts in horseshoes, atom bombs and back seats of cars" |
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"Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and body odor." |
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12/14/2010 09:19:49 PM · #45 |
Something told me by a North American Native when discussing daylight savings time:
"Only a white man would cut a strip out of the bottom of a blanket, sew it to the top of the blanket and think he has a longer blanket"
Ray |
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12/14/2010 09:25:22 PM · #46 |
| "Like a bull in a china shop" |
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12/14/2010 09:35:45 PM · #47 |
northern Maine:
dryer than a burnt boot.
so hungry i could eat the northern end of a south bound skunk.
shittin bricks.
angrier than a dog shittin razor blades.
hotter than a whore in a pecker patch.
hotter than the gates of hell.
like a fart in church.( when something will not be acceptable.)
hold-on-to-her. (spoken as one word, with no r's and used to tell someone to either slow down or stop doin something) |
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12/14/2010 11:25:32 PM · #48 |
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Something told me by a North American Native when discussing daylight savings time:
"Only a white man would cut a strip out of the bottom of a blanket, sew it to the top of the blanket and think he has a longer blanket"
Ray |
Replace "white man" with "US Government," LOL! |
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12/14/2010 11:31:34 PM · #49 |
It's so nice out I think I'll leave it out.
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12/15/2010 12:05:34 AM · #50 |
One I use on my kids once in a while:
"What part of NO don't you understand? The "N" or the "O" !?!" |
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