| Author | Thread |
|
|
09/19/2008 09:23:31 PM · #26 |
slippy I know what you mean...sort of...the gym I work at part time is full of fricken pigs! What's worse is they are grown fricken adults that seem dedicated to bettering themselves but they can't use a toilet or any other part of the bathroom for that matter, without destroying it. There is rarely an hour I don't have to clean up or flush someone's mess.
Oh and wash your damn hands dang it...you really gonna use the crapper then just go lift more weights without washing...EWWWWWW ya PIG!
Message edited by author 2008-09-19 21:27:55. |
|
|
|
09/19/2008 09:50:17 PM · #27 |
| Heh, my pet peeve are the peeps who try to chat with you while you are in there. |
|
|
|
09/19/2008 10:01:08 PM · #28 |
Sounds like you have an Uncle Ted in your midst. ;)
|
|
|
|
09/20/2008 07:19:32 AM · #29 |
Originally posted by L1:
Sounds like you have an Uncle Ted in your midst. ;) |
LOL! That's worth a copy/paste:
=================
Bathroom Etiquette in the Cube Farm
How To Poop At Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it.
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below.
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable.
For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment.
If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen.
If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.
No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace.
This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water.
This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom.
This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the where abouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex.
This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an ASTAIRE.
UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
|
|
|
|
09/23/2008 02:58:10 PM · #30 |
| It's been a while since I laughed that much at work :) |
|
|
|
09/23/2008 03:29:06 PM · #31 |
Hey Slippy, thats crap , lowest of the low ! For some reason my visits seem to coincide with the 'toilet closed for cleaning' sign the cleaner puts on the door...hey maybe you should make one up and stick it on there or maybe an 'out of order' sign !
|
|
|
|
09/23/2008 03:48:37 PM · #32 |
Originally posted by MikeOwens:
Hey Slippy, thats crap , lowest of the low ! For some reason my visits seem to coincide with the 'toilet closed for cleaning' sign the cleaner puts on the door...hey maybe you should make one up and stick it on there or maybe an 'out of order' sign ! |
Ahaha! That reminds me... Whenever I work late and go to use the urinal, the cleaning lady almost always walks in on me.
|
|
|
|
09/23/2008 03:57:45 PM · #33 |
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by MikeOwens:
Hey Slippy, thats crap , lowest of the low ! For some reason my visits seem to coincide with the 'toilet closed for cleaning' sign the cleaner puts on the door...hey maybe you should make one up and stick it on there or maybe an 'out of order' sign ! |
Ahaha! That reminds me... Whenever I work late and go to use the urinal, the cleaning lady almost always walks in on me. |
Don't pull a Castanza Slip, she'll get you fired. |
|
|
|
09/23/2008 04:53:30 PM · #34 |
Originally posted by trevytrev:
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by MikeOwens:
Hey Slippy, thats crap , lowest of the low ! For some reason my visits seem to coincide with the 'toilet closed for cleaning' sign the cleaner puts on the door...hey maybe you should make one up and stick it on there or maybe an 'out of order' sign ! |
Ahaha! That reminds me... Whenever I work late and go to use the urinal, the cleaning lady almost always walks in on me. |
Don't pull a Castanza Slip, she'll get you fired. |
Why do you think they call him Slippy? |
|
|
|
09/24/2008 12:42:47 PM · #35 |
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by MikeOwens:
Hey Slippy, thats crap , lowest of the low ! For some reason my visits seem to coincide with the 'toilet closed for cleaning' sign the cleaner puts on the door...hey maybe you should make one up and stick it on there or maybe an 'out of order' sign ! |
Ahaha! That reminds me... Whenever I work late and go to use the urinal, the cleaning lady almost always walks in on me. |
it was really weird, when I was stationed in Okinawa the cleaning ladies have NO problem entering the bathroom when you are using it. I remember once where we walked in right in front of her to do a urinalysis and she just kept coming in and went on cleaning. Most of their public bathrooms I would see outside normal businesses had a full view of the people at the urinals...granted it is a back view but still just really weird. The first one I saw surprised the heck out of me because as you walked down the path to get there you were looking right in (no door, except on the actual toilets), then the women would go around the side to their entrance. Another bathroom This one was at another location, the door to the toilet is a pocket door and opened for the photograph but you could totally see the urinals as you walked by since there is no door there. |
|
|
|
09/24/2008 12:55:29 PM · #36 |
Originally posted by scalvert:
All I needed was the title to know who posted this thread. :-/ |
That was EXACTLY what I thought... Almost sad, eh?
R. |
|
|
|
09/24/2008 01:30:27 PM · #37 |
OK, I have a related complaint.
The men's room here at the office has 5 stalls. When I go in for a sit-down event and all of the stalls are unoccupied, I'll pick the end stall. What is it that motivates the next person to then select the one right next to me? Why not the one at the other end? Why not any of the remaining 3 stalls NOT next to the occupied stall? I can understand if there's a full house, but in general, pooping is not a communal event. These guys can't be lured there by the aroma or the auditory environment. Are they looking to do a little Larry Craig toe tapping? Or what? |
|
|
|
09/24/2008 03:01:03 PM · #38 |
you guys are full of s...
but funny. |
|
|
|
10/01/2008 09:40:24 PM · #39 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
OK, I have a related complaint.
The men's room here at the office has 5 stalls. When I go in for a sit-down event and all of the stalls are unoccupied, I'll pick the end stall. What is it that motivates the next person to then select the one right next to me? Why not the one at the other end? Why not any of the remaining 3 stalls NOT next to the occupied stall? I can understand if there's a full house, but in general, pooping is not a communal event. These guys can't be lured there by the aroma or the auditory environment. Are they looking to do a little Larry Craig toe tapping? Or what? |
YES! YES! YES! Allow a buffer zone for goodness sake! Three stalls in my office, and a certain sh*thouse mouse (actually there are a few) always picks the one in the middle. I'm about to resort to putting superglue on the toilet seat...
End of rant. |
|
|
|
10/01/2008 09:57:44 PM · #40 |
| I am guessing that there is a run on fiber at the stores. Or they have pumped laxative into the water cooler. Or, maybe there are some sugar free candies circulating. Those things will make poo yourself. |
|
Home -
Challenges -
Community -
League -
Photos -
Cameras -
Lenses -
Learn -
Help -
Terms of Use -
Privacy -
Top ^
DPChallenge, and website content and design, Copyright © 2001-2025 Challenging Technologies, LLC.
All digital photo copyrights belong to the photographers and may not be used without permission.
Current Server Time: 08/27/2025 03:08:57 AM EDT.
