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06/24/2004 07:59:45 AM · #26 |
How my photoshop users does it take to draw a lightbulb ?
100. 1 to draw it, and 99 to go 'I know a better way to do that...'
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06/24/2004 08:07:23 AM · #27 |
Originally posted by Gordon:
How my photoshop users does it take to draw a lightbulb ?
100. 1 to draw it, and 99 to go 'I know a better way to do that...' |
What! You haven't got the light bulb action! :D
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06/24/2004 08:13:45 AM · #28 |
One from my industry
"How many sound technicians does it take to change a lightbulb"
"One, Two, Two, One, Two, One, Two....testing"
Steve |
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06/24/2004 08:16:01 AM · #29 |
Originally posted by BooZon:
Originally posted by Gordon:
How my photoshop users does it take to draw a lightbulb ?
100. 1 to draw it, and 99 to go 'I know a better way to do that...' |
What! You haven't got the light bulb action! :D |
I guess that makes 101.
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06/24/2004 08:23:03 AM · #30 |
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06/24/2004 08:27:35 AM · #31 |
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06/24/2004 08:42:36 AM · #32 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
One more...I finally found it after searching for 10 minutes!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@ HOUSE!
I'm sorry ... what did you ask me? |
ROFLMAOOOO!! |
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06/24/2004 08:53:53 AM · #33 |
Originally posted by Britannica:
This made the rounds a while back, but it is still too true.
---
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum,
and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.
---
David |
LOL david!
1 to suggest this would make a good challenge.
4 to protest saying that it would be a boring challenge.
32 to say they are getting "this does not meet the challenge" comments during the voting |
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06/24/2004 09:46:32 AM · #34 |
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, but I don't know how the little buggers got in there!
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06/24/2004 10:00:33 AM · #35 |
how many musicians does it take?
3
1 to hold the lightbulb, and 2 to twirl the ladder |
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06/24/2004 10:37:46 AM · #36 |
How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.
How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.
How many Bennington students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits.
How many Williams students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes two terms.
How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five --one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.
How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew
outfit to wear for the occasion.
How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.
How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and
two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.
How many UW-Madison students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.
How many Minnesota State students does it take to change a lightbulb?
The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.
How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that
they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Wesleyan's boycotting GE . . . you know, military-industrial complex and all that.
How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb.
How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to
take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.
How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform
Birkenstocks.
AND for the record, I think this would be a good challenge :)
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06/24/2004 10:55:41 AM · #37 |
Originally posted by PhilipDyer:
I still like this old standby:
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to pour brightly colored machine tools into the bathtub.
Okay, I'll stop now. :-) |
holy crap. Now thats funny. Its seldom that a joke like this gets me to laugh out loud but you got me on that one. Great joke.
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06/24/2004 01:12:37 PM · #38 |
How many PHD candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one but it takes them seven years to fininsh.
And..
How many network support techs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulbs in the other offices, so ther is nothing wrong with the lightbulb in your office either.
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06/24/2004 01:21:04 PM · #39 |
How many skateboarder does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it and 10 around him saying "Pfff, I could do that!"
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06/24/2004 01:23:04 PM · #40 |
How many rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?
3...one to hold the beer, one to say "Hey y'all, watch this!" and one to call 911.
edit...For those north of the Red River...'watch this' is actually one word 'round here...it's pronounced "wachis."
Message edited by author 2004-06-24 13:26:23.
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06/24/2004 01:41:30 PM · #41 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
How many rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?
3...one to hold the beer, one to say "Hey y'all, watch this!" and one to call 911.
edit...For those north of the Red River...'watch this' is actually one word 'round here...it's pronounced "wachis." |
I thought 'Hey y'all' was one word as well.
David
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06/24/2004 01:43:01 PM · #42 |
It can be...that is true!
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06/24/2004 01:50:19 PM · #43 |
Only if you're from Teeexas! Y'all y'alls.
Sorry, I couldn't resist eh!
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06/24/2004 01:58:01 PM · #44 |
Originally posted by Britannica:
This made the rounds a while back, but it is still too true.
---
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum,
and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.
---
David |
And 1 to say "DUH! What were you all thinking?"
Message edited by author 2004-06-24 14:08:34.
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06/24/2004 02:05:16 PM · #45 |
Well, my wife is gonna kill me when she gets home, I've got nothing done today. But at least I'll have some great light bulb and elephant jokes to tell her! :-)
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06/24/2004 02:09:13 PM · #46 |
and 1 to say stop posting whole quotes :)
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06/24/2004 02:26:57 PM · #47 |
This one hits close to home for me...
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.
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07/05/2004 09:46:41 PM · #48 |
how many hollywood producers to screw in a lightbulb?
none- they screw in hottubs, not light bulbs-
and the best lightbulb joke ever,
how many freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2. one to hold the ladder and one to hold.... my penis....no.. my mother..... no... sorry... the lightbulb. |
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07/05/2004 10:02:42 PM · #49 |
Originally posted by BooZon:
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a lightbulb? |
Laughed out loud.
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07/05/2004 11:43:22 PM · #50 |
Q. How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. New Haven looks better in the dark.
-----
Q. How many SU students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. What's a lightbulb?
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