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02/01/2010 03:20:23 AM · #1 |
i submitted this photo for still life with fruit. it received a 3.7, i rushed to get it up and its was my very first submission. i have made corrections and would really appreciate any input.
original submission
corrected image
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02/01/2010 03:51:48 AM · #2 |
Fixed your img tags. You don't need the URL, just the img#. Also, left a comment.
 Original
 Re-edit
Message edited by author 2010-02-01 03:52:44. |
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02/01/2010 05:27:03 AM · #3 |
ok, let's go...
i gave you a 4 during the challenge, and as a very idiot, I have not write why... sorry...
now, my low vote was because the apple is not so important in your composition, i'd like to see it better than we can see and also for the conversion, too gray, too "flat" for me...
the new version, i think, is not improving the original shot, remains however outside the proposed topic...
sorry, but is not easy for me explain the sensations in a language that is not my language... |
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02/01/2010 06:17:46 AM · #4 |
If I may.
No amount of dressing up this photo is really going to endear it any more with the masses here. Perhaps, with the new edit, you may have boosted yourself anywhere from 0.2 to 0.5 in score, but I can tell you right now that because the photo de-emphasizes the fruit, in a challenge where people are almost certainly looking to see fruit as the main subject, you were doomed from the start.
The challenge wasn't 'Still Life with Guns', and while I get the theme you were going for here, you unfortunately created a photo that is about the gun, not the fruit.
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02/01/2010 07:13:03 AM · #5 |
| Some things you might want to do while you are there to help pass the time(and I speak from experience). Build a lightbox, Light box tutorial and take most of your outside pictures either early in the morning or later in the evening. The sunrises and sunsets there during the winter/spring can be beautiful. Anyway, check out my portfolio. I still managed to get some pretty nice entries in last year while I was there...maybe something I did will inspire you. Take care and make the most out of the prison sentence... |
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02/01/2010 07:32:35 AM · #6 |
thank you all, i really do appreciate all your help. im new to this website, so it is great to get your input. i guess i didnt realize how controversial it would be, and i have learned a great deal just from this one photo. again thank you all.
Message edited by author 2010-02-01 07:33:40. |
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02/01/2010 07:36:53 AM · #7 |
Originally posted by stepwalker87:
i submitted this photo for still life with fruit. it received a 3.7, i rushed to get it up and its was my very first submission. i have made corrections and would really appreciate any input.
original submission
corrected image
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It is quite an unappealing picture, with or without the fruit. Also you did not make any relation between the gun and the fruit. A 3.7 is imho a fair outcome. |
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02/01/2010 08:29:27 AM · #8 |
Originally posted by stepwalker87:
thank you all, i really do appreciate all your help. im new to this website, so it is great to get your input. i guess i didnt realize how controversial it would be, and i have learned a great deal just from this one photo. again thank you all. |
Hi and welcome,
I wouldn't say your photo scored low because of controversy, though the sentiment and image may split voters, let me talk about the "photo".
The elements appear to be thrown together, the apple place where it wouldn't roll off, and the gun just on any old surface without thinking about how the forms fit together. As mentioned the gun dominates the fruit, its probably 10 times bigger, the apple is lost in the shot, there is no balance. I suggest you have a bit of a google on the topic of composition and the rule of thirds for starters.
Its not enough just to place the elements you want in a shot, the eye has to want to explore the elements and link them together. I often like to look at my shots and think about where my eye travels over the shot and where it naturally wants to rest, that way I get a feel of if I've emphasized the parts I want and not be distracted by the wrong elements. Using this technique with your shot I start off being distracted by the edge of the table, paint and the surface scratches on the table, next I travel down the repeating patten on the barrel but that leads me out of the picture and I've barely noticed the apple, and I keep getting lead out of the shot.
The second B&W conversion brings out some nice detail in the gun and apple which helps the look, but the blown out background is now dominating.
Positively you had a unique concept and attempted to execute it which is a great start, probably where most of us start, next step is to start to understand how composition and light works to allow you to covey your concept. You've made the first step by asking where you went wrong. Don't be disheartened by a low score, use it to learn as you appear to be doing and you'll start to see improvement. |
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02/01/2010 09:48:01 AM · #9 |
Originally posted by kleski:
Some things you might want to do while you are there to help pass the time(and I speak from experience). Build a lightbox, Light box tutorial and take most of your outside pictures either early in the morning or later in the evening. The sunrises and sunsets there during the winter/spring can be beautiful. Anyway, check out my portfolio. I still managed to get some pretty nice entries in last year while I was there...maybe something I did will inspire you. Take care and make the most out of the prison sentence... |
I didn't build a light box but I can echo Kevin's recommendations to try to stick to shooting early morning, late evening, or inside. As you're probably well aware, the sun can be brutal there! And welcome to DPC - it does provide a very nice source of diversion and entertainment when you can get a decent internet connection! |
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02/01/2010 12:34:19 PM · #10 |
I'm new here too, so please take what I say with a grain of salt because I'm certainly no expert.
IMHO
The first image is too dark and the second, as already mentioned, is too blown out. The glare is really hard on the eyes in that second image. I'm wondering what this image would look like done in sepia with some grain?
And again, the apple isn't really the subject of the image; perhaps a hand gun wouldn't have taken away from the apple as much but still gotten the point across? |
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