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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> How "PUN"gent Are YOU?
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Showing posts 26 - 50 of 57, (reverse)
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 04/08/2008 06:42:34 PM · #26
I'm an incorrigible punster. You really don't want to incorrige me.

~Terry
 04/08/2008 06:57:55 PM · #27
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 04/08/2008 06:59:22 PM · #28
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

I googled Puns and there are some really great ones out there
 04/08/2008 07:31:29 PM · #29
This one may stick in your brain for a while. It did mine:
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he
went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
 04/08/2008 08:20:12 PM · #30
Originally posted by 777STAN:
Originally posted by BeeCee:
As a fisherman leaned over the edge of the boat to land his catch his wallet fell out of his shirt pocket. Before it could sink a large fish grabbed it. While he watched, openmouthed, another large fish grabbed it from the first, then another grabbed it from that one.
His fishing buddy blandly commented, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?"


Thank You so much! This one will have me laughing all day! I am more than happy to expand the thread to include such Spoonerisms! Great FUN!


Well, I almost didn't, but I figured it was close enough to count, and I haven't heard it in probably 30 years, so it shouldn't be tooooo stale :)
 04/08/2008 08:28:05 PM · #31
A man went ballooning over London, but he crashed into Big Ben. Sorry to say, he was dead on time.
 04/09/2008 05:10:38 AM · #32
Much of my sense of humor (or "senseless humor," depending on your preference) came from Dad who loved to take famous quotes and "turn-them-on-their-ears". So, if it's not a pun, I hope it's at least close and slightly funny to somebody.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day will keep anybody away!" :}
 04/09/2008 01:24:41 PM · #33
Apparently, one of the worst things to be said of a Hollywood actor is that of being "typecast" (i.e. "not being able to break out of a mold.") However, there are certain movies (cerca 1950s-1960s, The Sound of Music & The Trouble With Angels, for example) in which certain actresses keep playing the parts of nuns.

One could conclude from these examples that certain religious characters could be "Habit-Forming!" :}
04/09/2008 01:51:51 PM · #34
I was the same way - I knew there was something I could recognize but I was trapped thinking about carp who actually could probably pull something off to this story.
Originally posted by SaraR:
Ok, I am being really thick here........... Eh?
04/09/2008 01:53:26 PM · #35
I've heard the same of those characters from Lord of the Rings movies ... however I believe they were more hobbit-forming than anything. Now I feel like a nerd.

Originally posted by 777STAN:
Apparently, one of the worst things to be said of a Hollywood actor is that of being "typecast" (i.e. "not being able to break out of a mold.") However, there are certain movies (cerca 1950s-1960s, The Sound of Music & The Trouble With Angels, for example) in which certain actresses keep playing the parts of nuns.

One could conclude from these examples that certain religious characters could be "Habit-Forming!" :}
04/09/2008 01:58:18 PM · #36
Originally posted by metatate:
Now I feel like a nerd.

Is this a hobbitual feeling? Some people have reported a ringing in their ears which dwarfs all other symptoms, and seems to just keep dragon on and on ...
 04/09/2008 02:01:05 PM · #37
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by metatate:
Now I feel like a nerd.

Is this a hobbitual feeling? Some people have reported a ringing in their ears which dwarfs all other symptoms, and seems to just keep dragon on and on ...


But, it is no small problem . . .
 04/09/2008 03:36:45 PM · #38
Speaking of small problems,

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals.
The thief did it quietly, leaving no clues. A puzzled spokesperson was quoted as saying,
We have absolutely nothing to go on."
 04/09/2008 04:14:33 PM · #39
From the long out of print The Guide to Positive Pessimism:

Time wounds all heels.

04/09/2008 05:29:30 PM · #40
A long time ago, when I went to a bank in Australia just before Christmas one year, the bank teller's badge told me her name was Carmel. I said, "You have an appropriate name for this time of year."
A puzzled look.
"Oh, Carmel ye faithful.."
 04/09/2008 06:27:05 PM · #41
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
Originally posted by smyk:
Smyk? It means "little boy" in Polish ("little scout" like in the book "to kill a mockingbird"
actually, cause m such a big baaaaaaaaby :)

Then I would offer the theory that "CMYK" is your long lost older brother. Probably the one that actually killed the mockingbird and had to leave Poland in exile. I believe I met him once in Italy - a very colorful fellow.

Yes, but he suffered from a severe multiple personality disorder -- CMYK is known to consist of over 7,000 Hughs ...
 04/09/2008 06:44:22 PM · #42
You all should stop foal-ing around, someone may take offence (a fence) and later have a night mare.

04/09/2008 07:16:14 PM · #43
There was an African king who lived in a beautiful castle made of grass. In that house was his prize possession, a golden throne. One day, he got word that the neighboring king was planning to invade and steal the throne. The king decided to hide the throne in the attic. As luck would have it, the ceiling collapsed under the weight and the throne hit the king on the head and killed him.

The moral? People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

~Terry
 04/09/2008 09:19:12 PM · #44
A frog goes into a bank and hops over to the loan officer's desk. He jumps up onto the chair and says to the officer, "Hi, what is your name?" The officer says, My name is Patty Black. What can I do for you?" The frog replies, "I want a loan." "OK," says Patty, "let's fill out a loan application. What is your name?" "Kermit," the frog says, "Kermit Jagger." "Oh, any relation to Mick Jagger?" Patty asks. "Yeah, he's my Dad!" answers the frog. "Wow," says Patty. "Do you have any collateral?" "Yes, I do," and the frog reaches into his pocket and pulls out a big, bright pink, ceramic elephant. He places it on the desk in front of Patty. Patty scratches her head and says, "Excuse me for a moment." She then walks into the bank manager's office with the loan application and the elephant in hand. Patty says, "Uh, sir, there is this frog out there who wants a loan." She hands the manager the application. "He brought this, this...uh, well, I don't know what it is, for collateral!" She puts the shiny pink elephant on the manager's desk. "What should I do?" The bank manager stands up and shouts, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

~Terry
 04/09/2008 09:35:14 PM · #45
She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.
 04/09/2008 11:05:41 PM · #46
Originally posted by metatate:
I've heard the same of those characters from Lord of the Rings movies ... however I believe they were more hobbit-forming than anything. Now I feel like a nerd.

Originally posted by 777STAN:
Apparently, one of the worst things to be said of a Hollywood actor is that of being "typecast" (i.e. "not being able to break out of a mold.") However, there are certain movies (cerca 1950s-1960s, The Sound of Music & The Trouble With Angels, for example) in which certain actresses keep playing the parts of nuns.

One could conclude from these examples that certain religious characters could be "Habit-Forming!" :}


Just ask Tate, I created many puns.
Recently I had too much to eat so I deserted my desert.
04/10/2008 12:00:44 AM · #47
So a hamburger walks into a bar... but the bartender says to him "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

So a man walks into a hospital saying the same thing over and over again, "I'm a wigwam!I'm a tepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a tepee! A doctor comes up to him and says "Relax, you're two tents."
 04/10/2008 12:38:15 PM · #48
A Knight with powerful force
Called out for his steed...a horse!
All the flowers looked around
But no horse could not be found
So he just rhododendron, of course!
 04/10/2008 04:20:28 PM · #49
During a recent challenge, I took some photos of my golf clubs, but didn't use one for the challenge. So, I decided to post them on a Photo Blog page yesterday. In responding to one of the compliments, I said this. "Thanks loads! I so do love 'puttering' with my photography!" :}

Message edited by author 2008-04-10 16:21:58.
 04/10/2008 04:26:21 PM · #50
Originally posted by 777STAN:
During a recent challenge, I took some photos of my golf clubs ...

I could have guessed that topic wood suit you to a tee, since you are one of The Masters of the genre ...
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