Men are from Mars - DPChallenge Forums

Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6

Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM

12/14/2006 03:07:49 AM · #1

Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"; offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e - mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "
A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin istic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-- KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

As*h@le .

(Gary)

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

escapetooz

Canon EOS-500D Rebel T1i

12/14/2006 03:16:58 AM · #2

Uhh huuuh! LOL. Is this an email forward or a real story?

I should try this with my boyfriend lol!

jan_vdw

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM

12/14/2006 03:19:12 AM · #3

Just an email, no idea how true it is. Probably no truth in it.

Art Roflmao

Canon EOS-6D Mark II

12/14/2006 03:24:01 AM · #4

Originally posted by escapetooz:

I should try this with my boyfriend lol!

...while you have some tea. ;-)

Is your boyfriend stationed on Skylon 4?

heeeeheehaaaaha

TechnoShroom

Canon EOS-30D

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 USM Macro

12/14/2006 03:29:23 AM · #5

Sounds like a girl I used to know. I imagine to this day she still doesn't understand why nobody would come see her one woman band and she could never play the same place twice.

whiteroom

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

12/14/2006 03:34:17 AM · #6

and i thought men were from uranus!

jan_vdw

Nikon AF Zoom-Nikkor 18-135mm f/3.5- 5.6G ED DX

Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM

12/14/2006 03:39:49 AM · #7

Originally posted by goodman:

and i thought men were from uranus!

Low blow! Men are from Skylon 1 actually

yianisn

Nikon D80

12/14/2006 05:15:13 AM · #8

It is incredible how long does a chain mail lines! I remember reading the same story when I was in the university 5 years ago, with the small difference that the dialog actually took place in the classroom.

I guess this is the more "cyber" version (-:

Strikeslip

Canon EOS-5D

Canon EF 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L IS

12/14/2006 08:30:41 AM · #9

I have my doubts about the veracity <-(word of the day) of this story, but it gave me a good chuckle. Thanks! :-D

banmorn

Nikon D750

Nikon AF-S Nikkor 28-300mm f3.5-5.6G ED VR

12/14/2006 08:37:07 AM · #10

Interesting how the story has not changed: Prior thread

Foolish Ice

Canon EOS-350D Rebel XT

Tamron SP AF 28-75mm f/2.8 XR Di for Canon

12/14/2006 10:14:56 AM · #11

This site says that it is most likely a work of fiction.
//www.snopes.com/college/homework/writing.asp

fotomann_forever

12/14/2006 10:21:44 AM · #12

Originally posted by goodman:

and i thought men were from uranus!

Don't know about you, but I've never seen a flow of men pouring from uranus :-P

12/15/2006 03:22:02 AM · #13

COOL !

hey, who wanna start a story with me? :p

Bear_Music

Sony 24-70mm F4 Vario-Tessar T* FE OSS

12/15/2006 03:28:27 AM · #14

Originally posted by crayon:

COOL !

hey, who wanna start a story with me? :p

I'd be happy to :-) Would we do it in a thread? jejejeâ�¢

R.

whiteroom

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

12/15/2006 03:28:39 AM · #15

wakey wakey crayon, you been buying christmas pressies?

Canon EOS-60D

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

12/15/2006 06:03:21 AM · #16

I actually prefer Jackie Collins novels and Earl Grey tea...but the space war crap I could definitely do without. ;)

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

12/18/2006 08:45:44 PM · #17

Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by crayon:
COOL !

hey, who wanna start a story with me? :p

I'd be happy to :-) Would we do it in a thread? jejejeâ�¢

R.

...With both his main and backup camera malfunctioning, Robert is now in trouble of not being able to shoot for his client's wedding. Reaching for his cellphone, Robert considers calling his old spark, Lindsay as a last resort. She has the same camera body as Robert does, and lives only a few blocks away, after all. Getting Lindsay to loan him the camera body may be the difficult part. Call or not to call? It's a dilemma because their breakup was still fresh in his head...

Message edited by author 2006-12-18 20:46:25.

Art Roflmao

Canon EOS-6D Mark II

12/18/2006 09:00:19 PM · #18

He decides to go ahead and call. Nervousness overtakes Robert as Lindsay's phone begins to ring. "Hello Robert" the soft voice on the other end answered. Her caller id feature threw him even more off-guard. "Um... can I borrow your body?" He stuttered.

Pug-H

Pentax K10D

Sigma 28-80mm f/3.5-5.6 Aspherical HF for Pentax

12/18/2006 09:43:35 PM · #19

"Um,.... no," she replied. "I had it up to my ears with your mad scientist routines. That time you tried to graft an elephant's head onto a giraffe's body really took the cake, Robert. My mind boggles as to what you might want my body for. The answer is NO, NO, NO, and don't call again!"
She slammed the phone down, and Robert was left to ponder ...

12/18/2006 10:05:41 PM · #20

Merely 2 minutes pondering left Robert's head buzzing. He has more important things to do - like his waiting client who needs his photo taken later in the evening. Robert looked at his 2 cameras again - lifeless, dead, malfunctioning. Apparently Roberts false sense of security on having a backup camera body has now failed him, at critical moment too. He searched his bag looking for a solution. As he was rummaging through all his expensive lenses which no longer holds any use without a functioning body, his hand felt something squarish in his camera bag. What could it be?

Bear_Music

Sony 24-70mm F4 Vario-Tessar T* FE OSS

12/18/2006 11:04:00 PM · #21

I'm sorry, but this story line is unacceptable to me, as I'm totally deaf and have never used a phone. But y'all seem to be doing fine without me ;-0

I'll respond to crayon's leading question, though; that has GOT to be a Mattel Barbie Photo Designer Digital Camera buried there in the bottom of my bag, jejejeâ�¢

R.

12/18/2006 11:10:57 PM · #22

Originally posted by Bear_Music:

So when are you going to tell us more about Lindsay, Robt? :p
Anyway, the story continues as Bear had implied, it's a Barbie Designer Digital Camera...

...pulling it out, Robert's eyes widened in disbelief - it's a camera! Without both his main and backup camera for the evening shoot, and with Lindsay refusing to lend Robert her body, the state-of-the-art Barbie Photo Designer Camera that he found buried deep in his camera bag appears to be his only hope to pull through the photoshoot that night. Robert pressed the Power button on the little beast... and it powered on! Robert let out a groan of relief as he slipped the camera into his pocket and started heading towards the client's location...

Blue Moon

Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 USM

12/18/2006 11:26:49 PM · #23

I want that teacher so bad, lol!!

Art Roflmao

Canon EOS-6D Mark II

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

12/19/2006 12:20:38 AM · #24

When he arrived at the wedding, Robert pulled out his little pink friend (the Barbie camera, people! Get your minds out of the gutter!) and made his way into the church. As he passed some of the guests, he heard one woman whispering to another:

Originally posted by Blue Moon:

I want that teacher so bad, lol!!

Robert, like the person writing this part of the story, had no idea what to make of it, but was intrigued.