Christmas Lights -- Wooo (long post...)

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

11/15/2005 05:39:38 PM · #1

Since it's a rare, nearly 70-degree day here in Western PA, I thought it would be a fine time to begin sprucing up the ole homestead for Christmas this afternoon.

I don't take on this annual task so much because I enjoy the challenge... I don't do it because I'm a particularly festive person... I don't do it so I can bring a twinkle to the eyes of those who pass through our street.

I do it for the same reason that 90% of the people in our corner of the world do it: the neighbors are deranged Martha Stewart-esque decorating nuts. If I didn't put up at least 2-3,000 twinkle lights and other crap, people would assume that we joined some sort of cult, and they'd start throwing eggs at our house.

These people are actually among the most restrained in our area:

This year was a particularly difficult challenge because the neighbors who possessed the Big Honkin' Ladder (aka the "BHL") have moved away to a warmer climate, and they took the BHL with them. I bought a Medium Honkin' Ladder (the "MHL"), but it just doesn't quite reach my highest gutters on the house.

A few days ago, I found at Home Depot what I believed to be the answer to my decorating prayers: A Big Honkin' Stick designed to be used to hang lights from the ground. Well, it's 11' long and that's great, but my gutters are still way too tall, so I still had to employ the MHL in conjunction with the BHS.

The directions for the BHS were a bit vague, so I did what seemed logical: attach the lights to the stick, climb the MHL, and guide the plastic clips onto the gutter.

Well, I attempted this several times, and I'm not exactly the most patient person in the world. By the third time the whole thing came crashing down, I yelled a few very non-Christmas-like words and tossed the damn BHS like a javelin into my yard. Naturally, the tip of the BHS was damaged when it hit my driveway, and the other end of it slammed into my car, but I don't think it did any damage.

I eventually tried installing the little plastic clips onto the gutter first (without the lights), and that went pretty well. I started stringing the lights, and got them strung about half way across before I realized that I had strung them backwards, with the electric plug at the wrong end. I said some more non-Christmas-like words here.

I got the whole thing strung up again, and was pretty proud of my accomplishment. I could see that the lights were sagging too much at one end, and were much tighter at the other end, so naturally I felt that I had to adjust this. Those of you familiar with foreshadowing undoubtedly know that this adjustment caused me to accidentally snare part of it and bring the whole thing crashing to the ground again. Insert some very non-Christmas-like words here.

Well, once again, just before the sun set below the horizon, the lights are up. Granted, I have not plugged them in yet. I am frankly scared to plug them in right now, mainly because I have run out of creative, non-Christmas-like words, and if some of the lights don't work, I'll have to go down the street to find a cute puppy to kick, or something.

Frankly, I'm starting to think about joining that cult...

Canon EOS-60D

11/15/2005 05:41:19 PM · #2

Those little lights aren't twinkling, Clark. ;)

pidge

Canon EOS-7D Mark II

11/15/2005 05:43:13 PM · #3

Wow! Getting a headstart I see. It's not even Thanksgiving for you guys yet. Does that mean you have to do turkey lights and then switch thema ll to Xmas lights? :P

Can you just take all your lights, dump them in a huge tangle somewhere and be done? :D

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8 L USM

11/15/2005 05:45:16 PM · #4

Originally posted by pidge:

Does that mean you have to do turkey lights and then switch thema ll to Xmas lights?

Not only that, but since I'm a native of Punxsutawney, PA, I have to leave them up so they will become Groundhog Day lights in February! :)

pidge

Canon EOS-7D Mark II

11/15/2005 05:51:11 PM · #5

ROFL!

TLL061

Canon EOS-5D Mark III

11/15/2005 05:53:28 PM · #6

Riponlady

Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ35

Tamron AF 28-300mm f/3.5-6.3 XR Di LD Aspherical IF for Canon

11/15/2005 05:59:11 PM · #7

ROFLMAO!

Can't believe you go to this trouble! We put up oour decorations the week before `Christmas and the most elaborate ones are the tree! Certainly none outside ( since our house is 4 stories high -about 40 feet from the ground to the gutters + ten foot of roof on top of that it is probably a very bad idea to think of lighting that lot up! We'd need a SBBL Stonking bloody big ladder!)
P

Katmystiry

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM

11/15/2005 06:10:46 PM · #8

LMAO ... I am crying I'm laughing so hard .. gonna show this to hubby so he realizes how nice I am to him because I never ask him to put lights on the house ... maybe it will get me a new piece of camera equipment!!! LOL

Canon EOS-20D

Tamron SP AF 28-75mm f/2.8 XR Di for Canon

11/15/2005 06:24:13 PM · #9

Putting up the outdoor Christmas lights at my parents' house has always been a mandatory activity in my family, even after moving out. My parents live in a kind of uppity neighborhood so at least the decorations are tasteful, but a session of light assembly without long, loud strings of profanity from my father just isn't Christmas. We have a MHS (a broomstick with a nail in the end seems to work about as well) and we string up 7 trees, but we seem to do it in a more Griswold-like fashion that most. The string in the middle of the tree inevitably doesn't work after we're done, despite having tested it before. Really, the whole experience is rather miserable. But at least we do it ourselves; everyone else in the neighborhood hires someone to do it which is just wrong wrong wrong.

Now I've moved into a new neighborhood with a whole new class of decoration. I've had a taste of it with Halloween and can see the beginning preparations for Christmas. In this neighborhood, the name of the game is REALLY LARGE INFLATABLE THINGS. The kind that you plug in at night and that need a motor to keep inflated. More, of course, is better, as are things flying around inside the inflated objects. If Halloween is any indication, we will be adding items daily until Christmas. I can hardly wait. The upside is that we'll probably have a much lower electricity bill, not needing to turn on our inside lights and all.

Tamron SP AF 28-75mm f/2.8 XR Di for Canon

11/15/2005 06:29:50 PM · #10

Originally posted by mk:

the name of the game is REALLY LARGE INFLATABLE THINGS.

That's hilarious! That reminds me of one neighbor up the road who makes "things" out of old, artificial trees. He has a very large Snoopy airplane made out of old trees. And it's not the kind of thing that you'd pass and say, "Wow. That really puts me in the Christmas Spirit." It makes people say, "Wow. What were they smoking?"

This same guy also has this really weird stuffed Santa that'll be perched up by the road. He's on a chair with a kid on his lap, and some kind of odd light above his head. The whole effect, honest to God, looks like Santa -- with a kid on his lap -- sitting on an electric chair. I'm sure several of our neighborhood children have needed therapy thanks to his display.

Canon EOS-20D

11/15/2005 06:38:39 PM · #11

Originally posted by alansfreed:

There's also Santa in the creche. That's a personal favorite.

GentleSoul

Canon EOS-30D

Tamron SP AF 28-75mm f/2.8 XR Di for Canon

11/15/2005 06:49:09 PM · #12

Originally posted by alansfreed:

Originally posted by mk:
the name of the game is REALLY LARGE INFLATABLE THINGS.

This same guy also has this really weird stuffed Santa that'll be perched up by the road. He's on a chair with a kid on his lap, and some kind of odd light above his head. The whole effect, honest to God, looks like Santa -- with a kid on his lap -- sitting on an electric chair. I'm sure several of our neighborhood children have needed therapy thanks to his display.

OMG!!! Please, please, please take a picture of this when he drags it out this year! That's just too funny for words!

Olympus 40-150mm f/2.8 PRO M.Zuiko

11/15/2005 08:21:26 PM · #13

Originally posted by GentleSoul:

OMG!!! Please, please, please take a picture of this when he drags it out this year! That's just too funny for words!

Every year, I *mean* to take a picture of it... I'll definitely have to do it once he gets it set up this year!

Brad

Olympus OM-D E-M1

11/15/2005 08:27:02 PM · #14

Run if you see a Motorhome pull in your driveway!!
BTW, you don't own a cat do you?