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11/19/2004 05:38:25 PM · #176 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by sfalice:
Originally posted by Ecce Signum:
If at first you don't succeed - give up!
Homer Simpson |
Variation:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If you don't suceed then, to heck with it!
Anon. |
If at first you don't succeed, try reading the instructions. |
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isint for you.
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11/19/2004 05:47:18 PM · #177 |
Originally posted by jfredin:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isint for you. |
I think that's why you always jump with two 'chutes. |
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11/19/2004 05:59:46 PM · #178 |
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11/19/2004 06:00:52 PM · #179 |
| I love the smell of napalm in the morning |
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11/19/2004 06:06:30 PM · #180 |
| "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat..." |
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11/19/2004 06:06:46 PM · #181 |
Originally posted by TLL061:
I love the smell of napalm in the morning |
Smells like........ Victory
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11/19/2004 07:46:24 PM · #182 |
I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect
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11/19/2004 07:48:13 PM · #183 |
| "It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me..." |
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11/19/2004 08:07:20 PM · #184 |
"If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying as to make the thought of global war include almost a sentence for suicide, you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension... would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution."
- General/President Dwight D. Eisenhower |
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11/19/2004 08:17:43 PM · #185 |
All by Douglas Adams :
..Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons.
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so
Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn̢۪t necessarily do it in chronological order,though.
Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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Be excellent to each other. -- Bill & Ted
Open your mind, you might be surprised by what's in there. -- bod
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11/19/2004 08:26:55 PM · #186 |
"Somebody farted... in the welfare line, It came from someones behind, but it wasn't mine!" - unknown
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11/19/2004 08:41:32 PM · #187 |
"Great T&A requires great DNA" - Penn & Teller
"Scotch is a contraction of the word 'Scottish' but is now only used in the context of whisky - we refer to anything else as being 'Scottish'. So we aren't Scotch people; we are Scottish people. If we were Scotch people, we would be made primarily from whisky. Oh, waitâ€Â¦" - Online English to American Dictionary
And anything from the movie Army of Darness - such as...
"First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow!"
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11/19/2004 09:14:21 PM · #188 |
"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."
-Isaac Asimov |
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11/19/2004 09:16:52 PM · #189 |
| Bread casted in the waters returns as soggy bread. |
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11/19/2004 09:21:33 PM · #190 |
I don't know who said it but I think it is funny:
"It is like a sleigh ride for your tongue"
That is so funny! |
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11/19/2004 09:54:07 PM · #191 |
| Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. |
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11/19/2004 10:17:17 PM · #192 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
When I was fourteen, my father was so stupid I could barely stand to have the old man around.
By the time I had turned twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he'd learned in the last seven years.
Mark Twain |
that's an awesome one...so true |
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11/19/2004 10:32:58 PM · #193 |
Don't call me irrational--you know that makes me crazy...Niles Crane
Frazier |
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11/19/2004 11:45:13 PM · #194 |
This one had inspired my ex-wife to become my ex:
"Honey....since you're in the kitchen.......can you bring me a beer"?
Hmmmmmm......maybe I should try Mark Twain next time. |
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11/22/2004 10:20:53 PM · #195 |
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds."
-Bob Marley |
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11/22/2004 10:30:44 PM · #196 |
As a war leader:
"If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing."
Napoleon Bonaparte
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11/22/2004 10:53:47 PM · #197 |
"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
H. L. Mencken
I thought that was pretty clever. |
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11/22/2004 11:31:44 PM · #198 |
Here are a few of my all-time favorites...
Originally posted by Edgar Allan Poe:
All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream. |
Originally posted by William Blake:
To see a world in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
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I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.
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It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
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A Poison Tree
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I summoned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.
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Message edited by author 2004-11-22 23:35:05. |
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11/26/2004 05:22:23 PM · #199 |
You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead
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11/26/2004 05:30:12 PM · #200 |
Originally posted by Ivo:
This one had inspired my ex-wife to become my ex:
"Honey....since you're in the kitchen.......can you bring me a beer"?
Hmmmmmm......maybe I should try Mark Twain next time. |
On a related note, the following exchange happened last year at my friend Ron's Super Bowl party:
Ron: John, while you're up, grab me a beer?
John: Sure .... waiiiit... I wasn't up!
Ron: Well you are now!
-Terry
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