|Critique Club Comment...
First off, I like this image a lot. I suspect it didn't do better in a Free Study because folks tend to like something that pops more. There's also something about verticals that seem not to perform that well. In a portrait or B&W specific challenge I think this would have done better.
Compositionally there's not a lot of fault I can find here. I like that you went with a 5x7 crop instead of the 2:3 straight out of camera ratio. If I am bothered by anything it's the eyes, which is your subject based on the title. First off, they do not lie on any line of any of the classic compositional techniques, like the rule of thirds. Interestingly enough, had you gone with a 4:5 (8x10) crop ratio the eyes would have landed square on the top third line if you cropped off the bottom. It also effectively increases the relative size of the eyes within the borders of the photo.
The B&W conversion has retained some sparkle, but it's lost all definition in the irises. Plus the photo-left iris is darker than the photo-right. On my calibrated monitor it's nearly impossible to see the left pupil. The reflections are also very distracting against the dark irises. There's likely not much you can do about the reflection, but most conversion tools will allow you to play with color filters or color intensity and you should have been able to lighten them a bit so we could see the details. Otherwise they seem sharp and in focus.
Possible other improvements? The background could be found to be slightly distracting. Perhaps burning in the lighter triangle section of wall so that it blends in better with the darker parts would further bring the focus onto the eyes.
Again, it's a really nice photo that just needs a little more finishing. As one of the commenters points out, I think the cropping is what did you in on this one. Try the 8x10 crop and see what you think.