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05/21/2004 09:29:47 PM · #1 |
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"Sex at ag e 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant ." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns
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05/21/2004 09:44:15 PM · #2 |
| sex is like pizza...even when it's bad, its still pretty good |
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05/21/2004 10:03:41 PM · #3 |
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to? ~Bette Midler
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough. ~Bill Maher
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer. ~Ex-Siddha Yoga Swami X
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05/21/2004 11:11:35 PM · #4 |
All of these are from Mae West, who knew a thing or two about the sexy quote...(from digitaldreamdoor.com)
When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.
A hard man... is good to find.
It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.
He who hesitates is last.
I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.
So many men... so little time.
Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful.
Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.
A man in the house... is worth two in the street.
Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.
Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you.
Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
To err is human -- but it feels divine.
His mother should have thrown him away...and kept the stork.
I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
"Goodness, what beautiful diamonds !" Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie."
I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported.
When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her.
I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I used to be Snow White... but I drifted.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain.
I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better.
It's hard to be funny...when you have to be "clean."
I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success... wrong by wrong.
You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles.
You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini.
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