Taking your camera to your kid's wedding?

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

09/01/2007 01:51:27 AM · #1

My daughter got married early in August.

I specifically decided to NOT have my camera out the day of the wedding. We don't yet have the pro's shots, but I find myself wishing I HAD taken some of my own shots. Not many, and probably not the same ones the pro got - but some.

What have others done in this situation and would you do it the same way again? I was very busy that day, and really wouldn't have had time to shoot many, but I feel like I missed a once in a lifetime chance. :(

I did take some at the rehersal the night before.

PhilipDyer

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

09/01/2007 01:56:21 AM · #2

I would have made the same decision you did, not to bring the camera. Experiencing her wedding fully the way that you did, without having to think about taking pictures, seems like the best way to go -- especially if there was already a professional photographer there. I think you made the right choice.

Atropos

Nikon D40

Nikon AF-S DX Zoom-Nikkor 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 ED

09/01/2007 01:56:23 AM · #3

I would bring my camera and take a couple well before the cerimony, maybe a few after it was over. But when you're holding a camera you become a spectator and not a participant, which isn't worth losing out on your kid's wedding for.

Just IMO.

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM

09/01/2007 02:04:02 AM · #4

I guess my thoughts are that photography really is a part of who I am...and my family really knows that. And my daughter has been my favorite model :) I honestly would have probably participated MORE if I had taken the time to take a few shots. Not during the ceremony at all...but before. For instance, my other daughter was in the wedding, and as their mom I would have LOVED to have taken a shot myself of the two of them.

I dunno. Obviously, I can't go back and change it, but it might give others some food for thought about these types of situations.

Katmystiry

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM

09/01/2007 03:22:17 AM · #5

My daughters (oldest) have already requested I be there with my camera .. so I guess the decision is made for me. I like it better that way .. now I don't have to be torn like you have been. If you daughter didn't ask .. don't worry about it, I'm sure you hired an excellent photographer in your place :)

sabphoto

Samsung Galaxy S8/S8+

09/01/2007 08:11:27 AM · #6

Originally posted by PhilipDyer:

...without having to think about taking pictures,

you mean you could actually sit there and not watch the photographer to make sure he's doing it right, or mentally critqueing him, or saying now I would have gotten it from this side lol. I'd have a tough time but I think I would fight the desire too and leave it at home.

ps...him is used in a completely gender neutral fashion, I'm not saying the pro would have to be a guy.)

Marjo

Canon EOS-7D

09/01/2007 08:58:33 AM · #7

I didn't take mine to my son's wedding and at least 5000 times during the course of the day I wished I had it with me. Their photographer didn't take any of the shots I "thought" she should. She was shooting film and captured the basics only. Hardly any candids at all and the formals were line-them-up-and-shoot-them. Nothing creative or artistic. I requested one shot that I just coundn't resist. There was a stone wall with a window cut out that I could envision the bride and groom framed in....she wouldn't shoot it because she said the lighting wasn't great. I said shoot it anyway and imho..lol...it's her best shot. The scenery was amazing. They got married at the botanical gardens in Cleveland yet she couldn't come up with any ideas. The bridal party requested different settings because she was going to line them up in front of a hedge that looked like it was in anybody's backyard. So...to answer your question...I chose not to take my camera because I wanted to enjoy the moment....but....I wish I'd had it with me!

dwterry

Canon EOS-1D Mark III

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

09/01/2007 10:13:03 AM · #8

My daughter asked me if I would shoot her wedding. My immediate response (because I already knew the answer) was an emphatic NO! She looked at me with hurt in her eyes and asked, Why? Because, I said, I want to be the "Dad" on your wedding day. Then she understood.

Having said that......

On the wedding day, while shooting portraits of my daughter and her new husband, the photographer we hired at one point turned to me and said, "I have a spare camera just like yours sitting in my bag, do you want it?"

Holy cow... of COURSE I wanted it. So I ended up helping our photographer on some of the newlywed portraits. Now that was kind of the best of both worlds. I got to play the dad, mostly. And I got to help out with some of her portraits.

(of course, I also shot her engagement and bridal pictures, but that's different)

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

09/01/2007 11:03:06 AM · #9

I haven't seen the pro shots yet, but I don't have any issues with what the photographer shot, or which shots he seemed to get. In fact, I was very impressed.

Maybe I'm just being silly, and it's hard to explain, but it's something along the lines of ...I want MY photo of my daughter on her wedding day. Taking her photo is MY thing...and yes, I can pay someone else to carry the burden for that day (and, of course I did do that), but it's just not the same. On that level, to me photography can be a personal thing. Very hard to explain.

She did not request either way, it was a decision I made on my own. If someone else is going into the same situation, I just wanted you to give it some real thought.

MikeJ

Canon EOS-1D Mark II

09/01/2007 11:23:00 AM · #10

I've always known that when (and if) my daughter ever gets married, I will have my camera with me. I know that I can still enjoy the occasion and still get pictures of it. Since I will probably be the one paying for the photographer or at least have a lot of influence in who is hired, the photographer will know this and need to be ok with it. He will also know that I won't get in his way and I won't be taking any money away from him either. Any images I get at my daughter's wedding would be because they have special meaning to me or her. Even the best wedding photographers can't know what is special to the family in all cases... and for the most part, they are taking pictures for the couple. I'd be taking them mostly for me and my memories.

I wouldn't bring all my equipment and I wouldn't have it on me when I walked her down the isle or gave her away, but I'd have my camera there with me most of the time otherwise.

Mike

cloudsme

Canon EOS R5

Canon RF 100-500mm f/4.5-7.1 L IS USM

09/01/2007 11:52:48 AM · #11

Even though my son had hired a professional photographer for his wedding, I brought my camera. I wasn't obnoxious with it, but took a few photos here and there. When the professional arranged groups after the wedding, I asked if I could take a shot with their arrangement. They were so nice, and said they would be happy if I took my own shots. I didn't take many, just a few, and thanked them for the opportunity. During the reception, the professional photographer called me and said, "you have to get this shot." It was my son, the groom, with my younger son, sharing time together. It was a very nice shot. I was glad I had my camera, and happy my son picked the professional photographer that he did.

fotomann_forever

09/01/2007 12:23:53 PM · #12

I'm gonna shoot my own wedding one day :-)

Sunniee

Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6

09/01/2007 01:02:16 PM · #13

My daughter is getting married in March..... great discussion for me since I am trying to decide this very thing.....

The photographers we hired are excellent and we get 2 shooters..... I just cant decide..... I think I will at least bring it with me :P

Tez

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM

09/01/2007 01:05:43 PM · #14

I'm having this conundrum right now. My best friend is getting married in November and my brother in December. I think they both have professionals but I'm not sure if I can resist taking mine with me on the offchance that I might be able to operate it whilst hideously drunk and dancing like a spasming buffoon.

Gordon

RIM BlackBerry Curve

Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM

09/01/2007 01:18:19 PM · #15

I took my camera to my sister-in-law`s wedding. They had a pro photographer doing all of the event type things, the kiss, formals etc, so I just shot candid things around the sides, but of the close family, etc, using the understanding I have that the wedding photographer just isn`t going to know.

I just took one lens (a 50 1.4 - fast enough to not need a flash) and didn`t bother shooting any of the things the wedding photographer was shooting. Was a lot of fun and as long as you are aware enough to not be spending all of your time taking pictures and missing the point of being there, you can get images the B&G can cherish, without being 'another photographer' at the event

//www.mcgregorphoto.com/pub/TimKate/

It was also cool to be able to show the photodex slideshow (on the link, with the music) at the casual lunch the next day.

Message edited by author 2007-09-01 13:19:44.

Spork99

OM System OM-1

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 USM Macro

09/01/2007 01:40:43 PM · #16

I would not take my DSLR, but I would take my G7.

Skip

Canon EOS-1D X

Canon EF 300mm f/2.8L IS USM

09/01/2007 04:37:23 PM · #17

since i'll either have julia or debbie (and any other members of team f/ate that can make it) shoot my daughter's wedding, i doubt if i'll do anything but enjoy it ;-)

SteveJ

Canon EOS-7D

Canon EF-S 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS STM

09/01/2007 04:49:33 PM · #18

I made sure we were well covered for my youngest daughters wedding. My neighbour had his Canon 20D, my grandson had my Fuji 6900Z and for the evening I had the 300D. The Pro did her bit, but in all truth, our combined effort was far superior to hers. In fact, my grandson took some of the best photos of the whole day!

For number 2 daughter, I took my camera, at that time the Fuji 9500, and a few friends had theirs and we got quite a few good shots. Although I was disappointed with the 9500 and that sealed its fate. Having been a Fuji fan for a long time, I decided that they had gone one step too far and sold it on.

So, in answer to the question, yes I would take my camera to my daughters wedding and would take as many photos as possible, despite a 'pro' doing the job.

paddles

Pentax K10D

Pentax FA 50mm f/1.4 AF

09/01/2007 10:29:58 PM · #19

I'd suggest only taking a basic point and shoot, not an SLR or other fully-featured camera.

My sister asked me to be MC at her wedding reception. I was glad to do it, but I didn't get to just relax and enjoy the time/experience being there as a member of the family in the same way that my brother could - you end up spending a lot of time as you-in-a-role rather than you-as-you. I think the effect would be similar for an enthusiast photographer, the more you immerse yourself in that role, the less you can participate/enjoy it as family member.