What really matters in life? - DPChallenge Forums

Tokina AF 12-24mm f/4.0 AT-X Pro DX

08/15/2005 09:18:22 PM · #1

Do you ever find yourself bewildered by people that have loved ones and family and when having difficult periods in their life, go off into chat rooms and spend hour upon hour talking to people they don't know about absolute rubbish.

I know many people make friends but to hide away in these places ignoring those that love you all around you. Refusing to deal with your own hurts emotions or hear those of the people around you. One day they wake up and realize all they have are people online that they don't really know and for all intents and purposes don't "really know you"

I am bitter about a love and a man I have loved for years ignoring me and my hurts in favour of these people. It really irks me makes me furious to think. That even if your loved ones are hurt, angry, right or wrong. They are and should be entitled to having your attention and at least trying to be heard from you. ignoring your problems and those you love is only compounding them and making the people around you feel worthless and less important than total strangers.

This goes for many children who's parents are online instead of with them. Husbands, Wives, Lovers. It's all well and good to have distractions, hobbies, passions, but, when they are an excuse not to confront the difficulties in your life and the problems that you face and the hurts. Then it's purely escapism and robbing those in your life whether it be good times or bad. Of the right we all deserve. To know those we have our hearts invested in are there for us when we need them that even in endings we are fair to those around us.

I cant be that today. for I am bitter at strangers getting the attention I need, the respect I deserve and the time I so desperately needed. so I guess this is a post to all those out there that have ever felt guilty about spending time online beyond an enhancement of their lives, that you should turn around and deal with the hard stuff and those that have hurt, loved, or angered you before you only hurt yourself and or do irrepairable damage to the hearts of the ones that love you.

Beagleboy

Canon EOS-30D

08/15/2005 09:32:44 PM · #2

Wow, looks like you are having a hard time. My question to you is this: if being online and in chat rooms is the source of your problem, what are doing here taking the time to write such a detailed post? Shouldn't you be discussing this issue with your partner or with someone face-to-face?

Canon EOS-60D

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

08/15/2005 09:35:49 PM · #3

Originally posted by Beagleboy:

This might be the best and most efficient way to get his attention. ;)

I understand, Kylie, and I empathize. Hugs to you and to your man, hoping that things work out for the best for both of you, whatever that might be.

graphicfunk

Canon EOS-20D

Canon EF 28-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM

08/15/2005 10:01:58 PM · #4

What you say has a lot of merit and anyone can easily understand where you are coming from. Human relationships are much too complex and intricate for any one solution. Yes, like you point out people do drift from their terrain into bars, car drives, and cyber space. The main reason to go to bars and cyberspace is that you can appear as a person with limited baggage. You can paint yourself and explain how you are being misunderstood or not appreciated because there are always folks to support you. Of course, the support is not very real and these people know this, since they know very little about you. The only good thing I see is that in some cases they flit about and take a break from the real problems that beset them. Oftentimes, after a short spell they crawl back home refreshed and perhaps ready to tacke the problem.

As you know, sometimes some of us are so overburdened that we are unable to sort and solve the problems that may very well destroy us or our relationship.

Like they say, sometimes a break helps some people come back and cope. When they get lost and do not want to come back then the situation is simply too over the top. These people need help that we can not give them.

Message edited by author 2005-08-15 23:09:06.

Mick

Canon EOS-5D

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM

08/15/2005 10:24:34 PM · #5

Have you tried talking to him about it? Just smack him upside the head and tell him to get off the computer for a while.

08/15/2005 10:33:37 PM · #6

thanks laurie, *hugs* to you too.

thanks graphic, and yeah I know all that too like I said Im bitter here and not blameless. I am well aware of my fault and guilt in this situation too.

LOL Mick oh how I would love to smack him upside the head throw him over my shoulder and break his kneecaps, you have no idea. Yes I have tried. more than likely too hard. I do know men brood and women talk and talk and talk and talk. But hell I need to be heard too I've heard my crimes but now Im being ignored I think thats the frustrating part. so *sigh*

Nikon AF-S Nikkor 17-35mm f/2.8D IF-ED

08/16/2005 07:38:42 AM · #7

any man that makes you cry isn't worth crying over.

On a seperate note, for every year, month or day you are with a person it WILL take you equally as long to get over that person.

Flash

Nikon D700

08/16/2005 08:21:50 AM · #8

Kylie,

1st I'm a sucker for the glasses on the nose look of your profile pic so good job there. 2nd your signature (on your profile page) has enough attitude to keep any man hungry in anticipation. The combination of innocent librarian with a bit of "kick a$$" as in "bite me, I've had my shots" is simply captivating. This is just a tiny glimpse of who you are.....But like a photograph, it represents a beautiful picture of a larger landscape.

Relationships are difficult at best. The longest lasting ones have had troubled pasts that were fought over, pained, worked out and stregthened. The strongest swords are the ones that have been beaten the most times, fired, quenched, and beaten again. The strongest relationships are those that have fought through the turmoils.

Good luck with whatever your decisions. If it is not worth fighting for then leave it be. If it is, then bite it, and don't let go.

Flash

08/17/2005 07:24:31 AM · #9

Originally posted by Flash:

then bite it, and don't let go.

Flash

I strongly disagree. I find people don't know when to leave well enough alone and force issues that do not need to be an issue. If you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back then it wasn't meant to be. By holding onto the horns and not letting go could cause undo stress, and judgine by her age (only going by the photo) she does not need the stress in her life. As for this guy she craves, it will pass. Just go about your life and something positive will come soon. This I can promise.

08/17/2005 07:31:12 PM · #10

Thanks flash for the compliments and the insight. Yes I too believe that a relationship has to be worked at. I guess what notonline is saying has it's merits too. Sometimes it's hard to know when to give up and when to hang in and fight, especially when the heart is involved.

and notonline I had to laugh at the part of your post that says judging by my age I dont need stress? Well at least you made me laugh :P and how old am I may I ask roflmao :))

Message edited by author 2005-08-17 19:32:49.

Canon EF 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L IS

08/18/2005 08:06:18 AM · #11

Originally posted by overclover:

and notonline I had to laugh at the part of your post that says judging by my age I dont need stress? Well at least you made me laugh :P and how old am I may I ask roflmao :))

:D I would have to say your old enough to date but not old enough to get stressed out over some guy. If your asking me guess an age then I'd have to say 21 in hopes that we could have dinner and you wouldn't get carded (asked for ID). lol But seriously pretty people shouldn't get stressed out cuz it make then look funny and I think there is enough funny looking people already in this world. I'd post a photo of me but alas, I'm the east end of a dog headed west.

Strikeslip

Canon EOS-5D

08/18/2005 08:25:27 AM · #12

Originally posted by notonline:

I'm the east end of a dog headed west.

OK, that's the funniest thing I've read so far today!
:-D

mandyturner

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

08/18/2005 09:18:15 AM · #13

Take the cables to the computer and wear them as a bikini. That will get HIS attention. Tell him that if he wants to get on the computer he has to get the cables with his teeth! LOL

My man goes fishing ALL the time, but that is fine with me. He NEEDS a hobby, a place to get away. So do I. We both work and have 3 children. WE NEED personal time. Its no big deal. We still spend alot of time together and with the kids. I used to complain about the amount of time he was away from me and then he just went fishing MORE. When I stopped caring about how much he went, he stopped going so often.

I am on the computer alot! He understands that it is my outlet. My place to get away from the house, the pets, the kids, and my jobs. If I didn't have a place to get away I would be fustrated all the time. The kids sometimes even help me critique photos and vote. They love it, especially JT. He is a BIG fan of Joey's! Good luck with your situation, and if you can't resolve things, then just move forward. Life is too short to boo-hoo over someone. (not meant as an insult)

08/18/2005 09:23:45 PM · #14

[quote=notonline] [quote=overclover]

If your asking me guess an age then I'd have to say 21 in hopes that we could have dinner and you wouldn't get carded (asked for ID).

Roflmao notonline I bet I'm older than you and smooth really smooth lolol I don't think I even want to imagine what the "east end of a dog headed west" looks like :)) too funny!

I tell you what mandy you take a pic of you dressed in the computer chords as a bikini then I'll judge whether thats a good idea or not roflmao :)) thanx for the comments ppl.

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

08/19/2005 07:39:28 AM · #15

Mandy just gave m an idea for my nude challenge photo. lol Thanks Mandy I'l expcet a 10. :D

overclover I believe my age is in my profile and I doubt your older then me. I fart dust.

mandyturner

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

08/19/2005 08:06:14 AM · #16

Originally posted by notonline:

Mandy just gave m an idea for my nude challenge photo. lol Thanks Mandy I'l expcet a 10. :D

overclover I believe my age is in my profile and I doubt your older then me. I fart dust.

LMAO!!!!! Fart dust!!! that is so funny! I have never heard that before!!! OMG!

MikeO

Fujifilm x100

08/19/2005 08:26:36 AM · #17

Its difficult when we love somone soo much - we tend to 'demand' all their attention, sometimes we can be overpowering and the other person just needs to have their own time. I hope you find a solution

Mike

David Ey

Nikon D80

Nikon AF Micro-Nikkor 60mm f2.8D

08/19/2005 09:46:42 AM · #18

someone needs a good spanking

08/19/2005 09:48:34 AM · #19

Originally posted by David Ey:

someone needs a good spanking

why yes, yes I do. I think I'l wait for overclover tho. Thanks for the offer.

Message edited by author 2005-08-19 09:48:48.

08/19/2005 10:21:48 AM · #20

LMAO not online my buzznet pages has my age in it LOL happy hunting you might get quite a shock you smooth operator roflmao :))

//lascivious.buzznet.com/user/

and mike? are you insinuating Im some sort of nagging, whinging, whining psychotic woman who can't leave a man alone for five minutes? hell I even phoned him when he was on the loo roflmao .... no mike Im quite sure I'm not insane *slaps self* oooh likes it and does it again* *twitches* roflmao :D thanks ppl for the laughs and of course the serious and good hearted comments too :))

and Mandy I still don't see any chord bikini shot of you in here? until you do it I wont even consider it :P

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0L IS

08/19/2005 10:41:41 AM · #21

Originally posted by overclover:

LMAO not online my buzznet pages has my age in it LOL happy hunting you might get quite a shock you smooth operator roflmao :))

Smooth??? ME??? Nah, I'm about as smooth as a rose bush. Ok so you win. BUT! can you guess what you've won??? That's right, diner for two at any place you wish but of course it'll have to include me as the second. So how about it??? Just put on your jogging shoes and come to toronto. By te time you make it I know of a great little place in Toronto we can sit outside and eat with nobody around for miles.

Art Roflmao

Canon EOS-6D Mark II

08/19/2005 11:00:49 AM · #22

Woops - looks like I stepped into a private booth. Please excuse my interruption.

**runs out**

MikeO

Fujifilm x100

08/19/2005 06:08:50 PM · #23

Originally posted by overclover:

and mike? are you insinuating Im some sort of nagging, whinging, whining psychotic woman who can't leave a man alone for five minutes? hell I even phoned him when he was on the loo roflmao .... no mike Im quite sure I'm not insane *slaps self* oooh likes it and does it again*

No I dont think what I said insinuated anything about you being psychotic etc, but now I not so certain!

rox_rox

Canon EOS-20D

Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 USM

08/19/2005 10:36:45 PM · #24

Hey Kylie,
My heart goes out to you. I was once in a similar situation; and it's a very lonely place.

The hardest part is to keep your perspective and remember that it's not your fault.

I read a lot of self-help books, wrote in my journal and got some counseling. Glad that you are here, just beware of getting bogged down in an anonymous reality too.

Your sense of humor will probably help you a lot.

PM me if you need some moral support.

Cheers,
Roxanne