Murphy's photography laws
*You are not Ansel Adams
*Neither are you Herb Ritz
*Automatic Cameras - Aren't
*Auto Focus - won't
*If you can't remember, you left the film at home
*No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting
*When in doubt, motor out
*If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film
*If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid
*Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is watching
*The most critical roll of film is fogged
*If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film
*Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell at
*The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short supply
*Interchangeable parts aren't
*Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls
*Weather never cooperates
*Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on location
*For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
*The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the Pulitzer
*Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be
*There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
*Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do
*Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't
*No photojournalist is well dressed
*No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist
*Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
*The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions:
---when animals are ready.
---when you're not.
*Same rule just substitute children
*Client Intelligence is a contradiction
*There is no such thing as a perfect shoot
*The important things are always simple
*The simple things are always hard
*Flashes will fail as soon as you need them
*A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture
*Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it
*The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his *position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness)
*The lens that falls is always the most expensive.
*when you drop a lens cap, the inside part always lands face down in the mud.
*Bugs always want to land on the mirror during a lens swap.
*Your batteries will always go dead or you will need to put in a new film canister at the least opportune moment.
*Your batteries will always go dead during a long exposure (so with the shutter open).
*When you shoot the night away and never have to stop. Your film did not roll on to the take up reel.
*Camera are designed with a built-in sensor, that senses the anticipation to develop the film.
When the level of anticipation is highest, this sensor causes the back to flip open exposing the film.
*Lenses are attracted back to their source - hard rocks.
*The more expensive the lens, the greater the attraction.
*No matter how long you've had a convention for marking film holders, you will forget it - when exposing the once-in-a-lifetime shot.
*Safelights - aren't.
*The greater a photographer's excitement, the greater its chance of fogging film, scratching prints, and deleting files.
*The success of an assignment is inversely proportional to the product of its importance and the number of people watching.
*Strobes only explode when lots of people are watching.
*Strobes only work when there is nobody else to see.
SOURCE:
//www.murphys-laws.com/ |
