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07/14/2005 06:45:19 PM · #51 |
Laurie,
Sorry to hear about your tough situation but you sure seem to have the right attitude. Having divorced parents means I have a small taste for this and looking back, I would never have wanted them to stay together for my sake. Change is something all are faced with and we only get stronger by experiencing it. Good luck with everything and know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Originally posted by laurielblack:
I know that God won't ever put more on me than I can handle, but I sure wish he didn't trust me so much sometimes. |
LOL...So true, it seems like everybody feels like this at some point. If your ability at photography reflects your strength in life, you're way ahead of the pack;) Much love |
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07/14/2005 06:50:08 PM · #52 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
Well, as an update...I went to court on July 11 for the final hearing, and the judge refused to grant our divorce based on some technicality with the paperwork. I was told to refile a certain paper and return on August 2. So that means another month technically married, another month of having to pay his $800-a-month insurance premium through my employer, another month of dealing with his problems...and it was really, really discouraging.
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This is not going make you go though another waiting period is it. Texas law now states under section 5.d. Waiting period: Texas law prohibits a divorce from being granted until at least 60 days after the petition was filed??and crowded court dockets can cause further delays.
I hope they consider the refile as the same case not a new one. The best of luck. And I wish you and your children well. I also (even though he seems to be causing the problems) your husband the best as well. I hope he gets his life back on track and at the very least be a viable dad to the kids when he is safe and secure.
My prayers are with the family - all of you.
Scott W. |
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07/14/2005 06:56:01 PM · #53 |
Laurie,
I am probably one of the many who read your first post back in May. At that time I just didn't know what to say, so remained silent. Well, after reading the update today, I still don't know what to say, but I have to say something.
So, just to let you know you are in my thoughts. You seem to me to have the strength to get through this. Know that you are not alone.
Roland
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07/14/2005 07:09:15 PM · #54 |
| Best of luck to you, Laurie. Everything will be just fine. |
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07/14/2005 09:22:34 PM · #55 |
Laurie, I missed this post when it originated and just now saw it. Let me add my words of encoragement along with those of the others in our community. You are a brave and persevering individual who will come through this even stronger than you are now. You are doing the important thing: taking care of your kids and yourself. And you still have compassion for the individual who is causing you pain.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Hang in there!
Alice |
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08/03/2005 03:27:37 PM · #56 |
OK...update #2 since I went to court yesterday!
6 hours in the courtroom with an apparently apathetic judge who called for an interruption of my case......a day's pay
1 complete meltdown.............my pride
1 helpful district clerk........free
1 caring attorney...............$225
1 finalized divorce after months of turmoil....priceless!
It's finally finished. The judge granted the divorce yesterday, but has not signed the decree. He ordered different visitation from what I had requested, which is agreeable for both of us, so we're waiting for my new attorney to draft up a new decree and present it to the judge.
I truly appreciate the kind words, supportive emails, and positive energy you folks have provided during this oddysey. I wish I could put into words how much this community means to me. I look forward to the future, and I know that a lot of good will come of this whole experience.
Hugs,
Laurie
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08/03/2005 03:31:24 PM · #57 |
Glad to see your sense of humor is intact. Good luck on your continuing new journey.
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08/03/2005 03:44:55 PM · #58 |
Laurie, glad that ordeal is over and you can concentrate now on the future!
Hugs to you!!
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08/03/2005 03:46:17 PM · #59 |
Laurie one thing for you
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08/03/2005 03:58:52 PM · #60 |
Laurie
I am so glad you have finally found some resolution and freedom. Haveing peace of mind is ...priceless.
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08/03/2005 04:07:34 PM · #61 |
She's officially back on the market!
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08/03/2005 04:12:18 PM · #62 |
Laurie,
So gald to hear that you finally have closure on this and can look forward. Here's wishing you all the best!
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08/03/2005 04:14:17 PM · #63 |
Hi Laurie,
Only just picked up on this post and the problems you have been having.
Just a few thoughts:-
Never feel guilty for wanting to be yourself rather than "Mrs somebody" or "Mum" or the boss - you have a right to an identity and that identity actually makes you a better mum/boss/wife. Certainly at a point not that long in the future the children will be independant and leaving home. You need to have your own game plan!
Never put your husband down to the children but on the other hand never lie about him if they ask. Tell them the truth as you see it with as little emotion as possible. They deserve to know but they also need to keep loving their father.
Never blame yourself or anyone else - whatever has happened, has happened and there is no point having regular post mortems about why. It won't change things and is a backward step.
You are a strong caring person with stacks to be proud of and I have no doubt you are a great mum as well. So move forward, find some road you want to follow that you never thought would show itself and make sure the children always know you are there for them.
Have a great life!
Sorry about the sermon - I just see so many mixed up parents and their children, it all sort of comes pouring out!!! If you ever need to chat when the US folks are asleep, just PM me!!
Love & hugs from over the pond
Pauline
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08/03/2005 04:26:09 PM · #64 |
Laurie
I guess I have been out of touch with DPC lately and this is the first time I have read your post. I wish you and your family the best and may God bless you all.
If Penny and I can ever do anything to help you out just let us know and if you ever want to chat or get together for an outing give us a holler.
Best wishes with your new future plans :)
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08/03/2005 04:26:45 PM · #65 |
| Laurie you've got our full support. Anything, anytime, anywhere. Doing what you've done for the sake of your children is nobel to say the least. |
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08/03/2005 05:52:56 PM · #66 |
Dear Laurie -- What a wild ride you've been on the past few months. From what I've seen your strength of character will get you through and your boys will be all the better for having a mother with such determination and a strong will to see this through. Remember to take care of yourself during all this. Meltdowns are acceptable as are chocolate binges and a margarita night out with the girls. Have faith in yourself, your God and your boys and you'll do fine. Email me if you need a shoulder.
Debi
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08/03/2005 06:37:11 PM · #67 |
Wow, you are a strong Woman, thanks for sharing! Help up the great work, you are a great mother to your boys! We are all here for you!
Melissa
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08/03/2005 08:08:53 PM · #68 |
Laurie,
I barely know you and I don't want to pretend to understand your situation on all the levels. I do want to share a bit of a story with you in the hope that it helps.
I am 24 and the son of divorced parents. I will first say I hold my mother in the upmost respect for the way she has handled her life. God through her provided me with a life beyond the afflictions of a divorced family. I am so thankful that my mother left my father who is an alcoholic and unreliable person. I am also thankful that my mother never once cut him down, kept me from him or lied to me about their situation. If I had questions she had answer and has always told me the truth no matter the cost to her or me. That is something I will always respect. My father didn't need any help proving his inability to be in my life and love me the way a child deserves. I have spent on average two weeks with my father a year since I was three years old (age of divorce). A year ago I finally told him how I felt and what his decisions did for me in my life and haven't talked to him since. The wounds of an absent parent are felt regardless of their physical presence. I would have felt the same way about him and probably worse if he had been apart of my life. An individual addicted to drugs or alcohol cannot be available and emotionally supportive on any level. My mother is the reason I am. I know this doesn't mean much because you don't know me, but for my situation I have success beyond my potential.
I respect my mother for doing what was right for her and us kids. Yet, the road and vision of seeing it has not been an easy one. It is emotionally, physically and spiritually a struggle to develop my being day to day. I don't think this is a far cry from what everyone experiences in life. Life is going to deal us our hand based on decisions we make and one set of hardship's will be exchanged for another and in the same breath so will the benefits. Pro's of leaving drastically out weighed the con's in my mother's first marriage to my father. Thus, I have my set of insecurities that were passed down and many I have created myself. I am more equipped to handle my life and I honestly believe I was given a better chance with my mother getting divorced.
Again, I don't know your situation and wouldn't pretend to understand your experiences. I just hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter for you now. With each decision opportunity is either given or taken away and I am sure you have a phetora of options in your vision.
I also want to say that I completely agree with everything listed in Pauline's post.
I will finish up with the following;
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference." - Serenity Prayer
"Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen." - Reinhold Niebuhr
I also have written alot of short stories and poetry that describe's the trials of life after divorce that I would love to share if you are interested. If you ever want them just PM me or email me.
Joshua
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