Rape? - DPChallenge Forums

01/14/2005 06:57:26 PM · #1

I was thinking -- you all probably know who Debra LaFave is. In case you don't, she is being charged for multiple things and faces up to 15 years of jail time for having sex on multiple occasions with one of her 14-year old students. Apparently, things were going good -- they would have sex in the back of her Isuzu Rodeo and her portable classroom until the young boy's cousin who was his driver spilled the beans to his parents.

I see both sides of the story -- at age 14, I would have loved to have had a teacher like her. What happened was she asked him to help clean out her portable classroom one day. She went and changed into her thong panties and slid up next to him on the couch and asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said yes so she got ontop of him and asked him if he was sure -- of course he was sure!

Personally, my zipper would have been down and my little friend out and ready before she even asked me if I wanted to have sex.

On the other hand, at age 14, boys are thinking with only their penis and probably shouldn't even be making the decision to be having sex with other girls who are 14 let alone their teacher who is a person of authority. What 14 year old boy is going to say no when asked to have sex by their hot schoolteacher?

So anyway, what are your thoughts on this story? Also, what do you think would happen if the sexes were reversed and this involved some married 23-year old male teacher and his 14-year old female student?

01/14/2005 07:00:01 PM · #2

My thought is... I don't think it's physically possible for me to have sex in the back of an Isuzu Rodeo without getting a cramp or spraining something.

01/14/2005 07:00:51 PM · #3

Originally posted by TechnoShroom:

My thought is... I don't think it's physically possible for me to have sex in the back of an Isuzu Rodeo without getting a cramp or spraining something.

At age 14, how long do you think the 'act of sex' would have taken? Certainly not long enough to develop a cramp.

01/14/2005 07:03:21 PM · #4

At age 14 I was the same height as I am now and just as inflexable.

Sigma 70-300mm f/4-5.6 DG Macro Telephoto Zoom Lens for Canon

01/14/2005 07:04:15 PM · #5

Originally posted by TechnoShroom:

At age 14 I was the same height as I am now and just as inflexable.

You missed my point. What I meant was the act of sex at age 14 would probably take about 10 seconds...well for me when I was 14 probably anyway.

shavenwalrus

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 50mm f/1.8

01/14/2005 07:07:58 PM · #6

We had a similar case here in Australia recently. The teacher got off with a suspended sentence. The boy claims he still loves the (married) teacher and never wanted a prosecution to take place.

Thing is there was another case before that where the teacher was male and the student female, very similar circumstances, she said she loved him. He was jailed. I think there is a double standard here where everyone assumes the boy would think it was great whereas the girl must have been co-erced.

Now my gut reaction is, hell at 14 I would be loving it!. But the age of consent is there for a reason and even if the age of consent was 14 the teacher has still overstepped the bounds of what should be a professional relationship only. Think if it was your 14 year old daughter and a male teacher - how would you feel?

Sandymaya

Sony DSLR-A350

01/14/2005 07:12:52 PM · #7

I think this is a difficult topic...I think she should not have put him into this if it was just about sex..it isn't right....

I do not think that it would have done any damage to the boy though I think he would have been pretty proud?

But if for instance strong feelings are involved..it can happen that an older person falls in love with a much younger person and visa versa, I think it is very difficult to judge...

However as she had been his teacher it should not have happened

That are my thoughts

Canon EOS-60D

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

01/14/2005 07:21:51 PM · #8

There are laws in place to protect children, be they male or female. No child is legally able to consent to sex prior to a certain age, and 14 is not it. As a grown woman, this teacher should have known better. Whether or not he was a willing participant is irrelevant. She has some serious personal issues to begin with, and is obviously troubled. To abuse such an important and powerful position is just inexcusable. Even the most mature 14 year olds cannot fully understand the ramifications and consequences of adult acts, especially those relating to casual sex. 14 year olds, by their very nature and developmental stage, seek acceptance and love and desperately want to fit in. In that boy's mind, what a better way to fit in than to have a popular and beautiful teacher coming on to him and accepting him for who he is. It's a tragedy that his trust was betrayed because of her perverse or misguided attraction to him. She obviously needs some intense therapy. There have been numerous cases like this in the news in the past decade, and each one saddens me more and more. Teachers don't go into their profession for the money...it's for the love of kids, the love of learning, and the love of making society better for the next generation. When a kid is put in a situation like this, it makes me so angry. I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would hurt the very ones you are hired to help.

Anyway, as I ramble, it boils down to this. IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed. He is under the age of consent, therefore cannot be responsible for his actions, which were coerced by the teacher initially. She needs serious help, and I pray that she spends time in jail, rethinking her bad decisions, and that her teaching certificate is yanked so that she is never allowed to prey on children again.

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

01/14/2005 07:24:20 PM · #9

Originally posted by laurielblack:

IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed.

As a male I can honestly tell you he participated because he wanted to have sex. Period.

Cam

Sony DSC-F717

01/14/2005 07:31:03 PM · #10

She is a despicable skank that should get the maximum 15 year sentence.

If it was a male teacher tapping a female student I would imagine the possible sentence would be quite a bit longer...but I dont know for sure.

Message edited by author 2005-01-14 19:32:18.

Canon EOS-60D

01/14/2005 07:31:23 PM · #11

Originally posted by TechnoShroom:

Originally posted by laurielblack:
IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed.

As a male I can honestly tell you he participated because he wanted to have sex. Period.

I'm not doubting that in the least...but the underlying reason as to WHY he wanted to have sex, with or without him being aware of it consciously, relates back to the issue of acceptance. Every 14 year old I've ever worked with expresses an inherent need to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. They all talk about having sex, whether or not they ever have. This was his opportunity to do what everyone else is doing, and with a "hot" teacher nonetheless. That was the point I was making. The psycholigical need to fit in and be accepted is a crucial and key stage of development in adolescents.

marbo

Nikon D5000

Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6G ED VR II

01/14/2005 07:33:32 PM · #12

Say it was a 23 year old male teacher and 14 year old school girl.
I`m guessing he would get the chair in the USA.
I`m all for equality :)

grandmarginal

Nikon D500

Nikon AF Zoom-Nikkor 70-200mm f/2.8 VR DG IF-ED

01/14/2005 07:35:05 PM · #13

Originally posted by laurielblack:

Anyway, as I ramble, it boils down to this. IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed.

I think he did it because he was 14 and most of all... a guy.

BAMartin

Apple iPhone 5

01/14/2005 07:42:17 PM · #14

How would you feel if this was your son? How about your daughter?

Barbara

01/14/2005 07:44:05 PM · #15

Originally posted by BAMartin:

How would you feel if this was your son? How about your daughter?

Depends... did she get an A?

magicshutter

Nikon D70

Panasonic Lumix G 14mm F2.5 ASPH

01/14/2005 07:44:31 PM · #16

I can agree that at 14 I would have let her do what she did, but I wouldn't have exactly been 'looking' for it through a teacher. IMHO the kid is at that age these days where they get curious, they see beyonce on mtv and mojos start working. I say she initiated it which makes it a criminal intent. I say if the boy came on to her, it would be slightly different. While she still would have been wrong for having sex with a minor, it wouldn't have seemed so neglegent. As for the roles reversed, I think it's a tragedy when people assume the worst. I agree that 99% of the time the adult males seduces the young lady, but there is that 1%. Does that make the adult the victim? Hardly, I don't believe that mental problems which cause this behavior are spontaneous. Which means these people are sick when they take the job. This woman should have never been hired. But that's another thread...

For more on how this happens all the time with much more sickening results...[url=www.amyfisher.com]16 year old Amy Fisher kills lover's wife.[/url]

glad2badad

Apple iPhone 16 Pro

Lensbaby Sweet 35 Optic

01/14/2005 08:42:02 PM · #17

YIKES! How did this get here? Thought this site was about digital photography...

Olyuzi

Panasonic Lumix DMC-GX7

01/14/2005 09:02:47 PM · #18

Originally posted by laurielblack:

Originally posted by TechnoShroom:

Originally posted by laurielblack:
IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed.

As a male I can honestly tell you he participated because he wanted to have sex. Period.

I'm not doubting that in the least...but the underlying reason as to WHY he wanted to have sex, with or without him being aware of it consciously, relates back to the issue of acceptance. Every 14 year old I've ever worked with expresses an inherent need to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. They all talk about having sex, whether or not they ever have. This was his opportunity to do what everyone else is doing, and with a "hot" teacher nonetheless. That was the point I was making. The psycholigical need to fit in and be accepted is a crucial and key stage of development in adolescents.

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

01/14/2005 09:06:28 PM · #19

Originally posted by glad2badad:

YIKES! How did this get here? Thought this site was about digital photography...

This site is for photographers. Do we not have feelings or thoughts about everyday things? Seems to me photographers (or artists), for the most part, seem to think deeper about the occurences these days and offer more insight as to how they feel.

Post the same question on a car forum or a sports forum and I bet no one cares to even comment.

Canon EOS-60D

01/14/2005 09:20:01 PM · #20

No I don't know more than you do about the family and his upbringing...but I do know a lot about the psychological development of adolescents...and adolescents have sex for psychological reasons, not purely biological ones. Even boys. It's not a simple case of raging hormones, as much as most men would like to admit. I have already stated that the teacher has serious issues. That's not even debatable. Just because he's thinking about sex a lot does not mean his reason to have sex is only because of a physical response. It's quite naive to assume that.

Originally posted by Olyuzi:

I'm not familiar with this case, but the reason the boy had sex was due to biological, not psychological, reasons, unless you know something about the boy's upbringing and family life that the rest don't. At that age, a boy's hormones are raging and they are thinking of sex A LOT! Chances are the teacher had not grown up psychologically and was seeking unconditional love.

Originally posted by laurielblack:

Originally posted by TechnoShroom:

Originally posted by laurielblack:
IMHO, the boy willingly participated because of a desire to feel unconditional love and acceptance from his teacher, whom he trusted and believed.

As a male I can honestly tell you he participated because he wanted to have sex. Period.

I'm not doubting that in the least...but the underlying reason as to WHY he wanted to have sex, with or without him being aware of it consciously, relates back to the issue of acceptance. Every 14 year old I've ever worked with expresses an inherent need to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. They all talk about having sex, whether or not they ever have. This was his opportunity to do what everyone else is doing, and with a "hot" teacher nonetheless. That was the point I was making. The psycholigical need to fit in and be accepted is a crucial and key stage of development in adolescents.

Message edited by author 2005-01-14 21:21:04.