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06/30/2004 08:43:42 AM · #1 |
I know the headline to my entry whasn't the best, but since most comments only suggest a different title, I'm wondering would I have done better with a different one? And giving the story wich by the way is true, what other title would you suggest? Anyways this challenge whas a double challenge for us non natural english speakers. It's hard to master a smart headline in a foreign language...
Here is the entry:
Thanks in advance. |
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06/30/2004 08:46:49 AM · #2 |
| I personally would have gone for a b/w photo and titled it, Fireman plays with hose in public. lol |
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06/30/2004 08:58:19 AM · #3 |
| I really enjoyed your photo. I think the expression on his face displays shock or maybe shocked numbness which justifies the title nicely. |
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06/30/2004 09:01:41 AM · #4 |
| The headline is actually good. It just doesn't match the action of the photo. If you had a shot of the firefighters working on the fire it would have worked or a shot of firefighters grieving. If this is the only picture you had then I would suggest something completely different. I can't think an idea right now. |
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06/30/2004 09:03:40 AM · #5 |
| I think the problem is it looks way too routine. It's not like really in a rush or anything. He looks posed as well, not saying he is standing there posing. My opinion anyway. |
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06/30/2004 09:07:28 AM · #6 |
I'm not a writer so bear with me...but maybe a headline along the lines of "Firefighters return to work after loss of 7 in deadly blast" or something to that effect...it would allow more emphasis on this one particular firefighter's emotional state and expression. Just a thought. :o)
BTW: I thought the photo was really good...but the headline just didn't match it as well as it could have; not to say my idea is stupendous or anything. LOL :o)
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06/30/2004 10:09:49 AM · #7 |
Originally posted by digistoune:
I really enjoyed your photo. I think the expression on his face displays shock or maybe shocked numbness which justifies the title nicely. |
Since this is not of the main action, I'd suggest using the popular headline word for that, something like:
"Aftermath of Deadly Blast" |
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06/30/2004 10:52:35 AM · #8 |
That is a wonderful photo, and I tend to agree the title doesn't match the photo. Paul's title suggestion would work better as well as even something like..."Young Firefighters Risk Lives"
The age is very evident in your photo, very young.
After reading your comment for your photo, not all firefighters are paid in America. Many are volunteers.
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06/30/2004 10:54:38 AM · #9 |
Oh and as for the english language don't worry about it, those of us who have been speaking and writing it can't even notice misspellings most of the time. LOL my entry in the newspaper challenge was misspelled and only one person pointed it out. I realized it just after the challenge started and was surprised I wasn't overwhelmed with comments about the misspelling.
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06/30/2004 10:56:05 AM · #10 |
| /me takes this opportunity to thank OneSweetSin |
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06/30/2004 11:23:05 AM · #11 |
First of all thank you all who took some time to comment, I whas just curious if I would of done better with a different title, and I think yes. The shot whasn't taken at the scene of that particular incident I described under the photo, but since this whas about newspaper and that incident happened recently, I mixed them in an atempt to make a newspaper article kind of thing.
@OneSweetSin - about not all firefighters being paid in America, that may be so but it is one thing to volunteer, and another to be forced by the law with prison the only alternative (well to be entirely honest recently they came up with another alternative that you can pay instead of going, but the amount is about 5000$ much more than the average romanian aford, average paycheck here being around 200$/month). All 7 who died at that incident where young kids like this one ages 20-25 and this is what I sort of tried to show with this picture, unfortunately couldn't come up with a headline wich combined with the image would say that.
Again thank you all for your comments, I still can't think of a headline that combined with the image would say what I wanted to say with it, so if any of you can think of one, would be great. Probably for this challenge would of been great if we could add the article too not just the title.
Message edited by author 2004-06-30 11:27:11. |
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