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06/24/2004 04:20:50 PM · #26 |
Two cows are sitting in a palm tree, knitting. One of the cows notices an elephant flying overhead. "Look", she says, "an elephant!" "So what", says the other and continues to drop and purl.
An hour later the first cow jumps and points at the sky:"Another one! Look, look!" The second cow, whose name is Lisa, by the way, shows little interest and mumbles: "O-keeeeh...".
The sun is already high. Emma (for that is the name of the first cow) and Lisa are each into the second half of their sock. Emma notices several tiny dots approaching them in a v-formation. She does not breathe a word. The dots draw closer and closer assuming the shapes of several elephants followed by others. Emma is trying very hard to contain herself. When she notices, the elephants are wearing variegate, frilled dresses, lipstick and eye shadow, she cannot hold out any longer, drops needle and yarn, jumps up throwing her arms in the air: "Lisa, look, look, looooook!"
Lisa, who comes from a barn in California, looks up briefly and says: "Allright, so we have a nest nearby."
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06/24/2004 04:27:10 PM · #27 |
Hahaha, cinderelephant. That's the best one by far.
Awesome. Good one Laurie! |
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06/24/2004 04:34:49 PM · #28 |
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks. |
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06/24/2004 04:38:40 PM · #29 |
Originally posted by ogdenm:
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks. |
Why do giraffes have long necks?
To spit on burning elephants... LOL
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06/24/2004 04:44:29 PM · #30 |
Not an Elelphant, but just as big,
What does it take to circumcise a whale?
Fore skin divers |
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06/24/2004 04:49:01 PM · #31 |
Originally posted by G4Ds:
Originally posted by carlos:
- how do you fit four elephants in a Mini car?
two on the front seats, two on the rear
- how do you get the elephants out of the car?
throwing a mouse in
too bad you've never seen a car the size of a Mini at the US ;-) |
We have Mini's here. I have even seen some of the old really small ones:) |
Actually, they're growing in popularity over here.
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06/24/2004 05:41:04 PM · #32 |
How do you make an elephant float?
A glass of root beer and two scoops of elephant.
-Terry
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06/24/2004 08:17:52 PM · #33 |
Originally posted by carlos:
- how do you fit four elephants in a Mini car?
two on the front seats, two on the rear
- how do you get the elephants out of the car?
throwing a mouse in
too bad you've never seen a car the size of a Mini at the US ;-) |
How do you get 5 elephants in a mini?
Two in the back seat, two in the front and one in the glove box.
drg |
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06/24/2004 08:37:44 PM · #34 |
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a jar of peanut butter?
A 200 pound sandwich that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a prostitute?
A half-ton pickup.
What do you get when when you cross an elephant with a yes-man?
A sychophant.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a canary?
A hole this  big.
drg |
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06/24/2004 09:15:57 PM · #35 |
How do you make an elephant fly?
Take away its driver's license.
How do you make an elephant fry?
Take away its Weber BBQ.
How do you make an elephant pie?
Divide its circumference by its diameter. |
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06/24/2004 09:53:32 PM · #36 |
1. What's red and white and gray inside ?
Campbells cream of elephant soup
2. How to catch an elephant.
Dig a big, big hole , sprinkle ash from the fire pit all around the edge of the hole, make a trail of peanuts leading from the jungle to the edge of the hole. Hide until the elephant follows the peanut up to the hole, when he's right at the edge looking in run up and kick him in the ash hole.
Don't make that face LOL |
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