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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Is this a Japanese thing?
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07/10/2011 09:13:38 PM · #1
Does this happen in your country or is it a Japanese thing?

I work for a bridal company. I'm the minister that presides over the Christian weddings. It's very much looked at as a business. I can do up to 12 weddings a day in a single location. It's not 'official' and the bride/groom are usually not Christian.

Anyways, the company sends a 'manager' to each location along with the regular and semi-regular musicians, choir girls etc. The managers job is to supervise and address any issues that might come up. At locations where we've been doing it long enough it's really not needed since there's a pattern and everyone (Resort staff and bridal staff) gets along. The problem is, new managers seem to come and go really quickly. They quit before we can get to know them. The few that stick around are really 'tough' to put it nicely. Quite often, over-reacting to situations beyond anyone's control.

Anyways, one manager that recently joined the ranks was a nice young lady. She was worried about quite a few things but I told her "Everyone makes every mistake in the book. Don't worry. You're not going to be perfect and just roll with the punches." I found out the other day that she had quit 2 weeks earlier. Apparently, the female staff (2 ladies) that are there were pretty tough on her. They seem to have forgotten that they too didn't know anything about anything in the bridal business and made countless mistakes. BUT, she quit and moved on. Still, another minister and myself had arranged a BBQ and wanted to invite her along since she had always been keen on getting together.

Here's where it gets 'odd'...I asked for her information and the manager (One of the more relaxed, open and honest guys) had no issues with it but warned me that the other ladies were so tough on her that she likely wouldn't show up if they were there. And, if she did the other 2 ladies (2 ladies we have ups and downs with) would probably not be happy to see at a bbq. Then, today, he called and said "If anyone asks, you didn't get the information from me." Apparently, the staff at the bridal business is trying very hard to keep her and the rest of the staff apart. There seems to be a fear that she has 'information' and 'gossip' that the company doesn't want her unleashing on everyone. Not that she would, but now that I know this I certainly wouldn't mind hearing what she has to say. I have some major frustrations with the company as do the other ministers. We get together every now and then to vent. Unfortunately, she doesn't have anyone to vent to. Her home town is in another prefecture and she's got few friends here. She was nice, did her job...the feeling I get is that she quickly became popular with staff and the others felt some of their 'popularity' drop. Very highschoolish...

So, if someone quits, is there this grand effort to keep the person who quit away from those still working? That seems to be the case here. It's really disappointing.
07/10/2011 10:57:00 PM · #2
Man, that seems terribly political, and petty. I've never seen that here. Certainly if someone leaves on *very* bad terms, they have to know they are not welcome back to visit, but in cases where they are leaving on good terms, I've never seen an effort to keep them from communicating with or socializing with current employees. In fact, such a thing would seem highly unethical.
07/10/2011 11:32:43 PM · #3
It's just the culture that is fostered at some companies, and it often comes from the top down. Everyone fearful and looking over their shoulders.
07/11/2011 06:09:45 PM · #4
Originally posted by heavyj:

So, if someone quits, is there this grand effort to keep the person who quit away from those still working? That seems to be the case here. It's really disappointing.


I have never had the inclination to hang out with people I didn't get along after leaving a job I didn't like. I can see why she may not want to come to your soiree.

If you want to involve her, invite her to something as a friend, not involving former co-workers.
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