How Else Can I say "No."? - DPChallenge Forums

Canon EF 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L IS

02/18/2011 07:29:29 PM · #1

Back at Christmas I did a series of shots of my nephew in the snow as a surprise present for my sister. It consisted of 1 large shot surrounded by small ones in a montage, and it was a huge success, they loved it, their friends loved it etc. so obviously I'm very pleased.

Problem is, I happened to be editing one night at my parents place and my mum saw that I had taken hundreds (obviously out of which I selected the best ones for the present) and mentioned this to my sister. Now she's asking me for a CD of them too.

I've tried explaining that the selected ones were the good ones, and that the others aren't edited so they won't look good and even that the other shots aren't great anyway, but they keep insisting saying things like, "It's fine, just send them", and "I'm sure they're great".

I really don't want to hand over the other shots because I believe that firstly, it takes away some of the 'glamour' of the original present, and secondly I don't want them being shown around as examples of my work.

So how else do I say no without appearing to just be difficult and lazy, as since they won't take any of my excuses I've just been avoiding the question and now I think they think I just can't be bothered!

This would be far easier if it was a paying client! Family just don't listen!

P.S. I'm sure there's no real answer to this, just felt like ranting :)

Strikeslip

Canon EOS-5D

02/18/2011 07:32:12 PM · #2

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

....So how else do I say no without appearing to just be difficult and lazy, as since they won't take any of my excuses I've just been avoiding the question and now I think they think I just can't be bothered!.....

Oh no! My computer has melted down! I've lost all my files!

NathanWert

Canon EOS-90D

Sigma 18-250mm f/3.5-6.3 DC OS HSM

02/18/2011 07:39:02 PM · #3

Just do what I did...tell them that you accidentaly put your external harddrive (with all of your pictures on it) into the dryer and destroyed it. I lost allmost all of my photos...seriously...I did. I feel so stupid.

LandzEnca

Samsung TL500

Sony SAL-16105 DT 16-105mm

02/18/2011 07:43:18 PM · #4

just give them the photos. but not before adding a heavy gaussian blur to all of them.

"See? I told you they weren't very good shots so i did not give them to you earlier."

Then take back the CD so your blurred images don;t get seen by others :)

chromeydome

Nikon D7000

Sony FE 200-600mm f/5.6-6.3 G OSS

02/18/2011 07:47:38 PM · #5

You might try something like "My gift was a fully professional quality item just like my clients would have to pay a lot of money to get. Part of my professional process is to take as many shots as possible, so that I can select the best of the best. I don't provide a CD of all images to any client, for any reason, for any amount of money. It is just not part of the creative process. It would be like buying a meal at a restaurant, and asking for all the dirty dishes, pans & utensils, unused-leftover ingredients."

Or you could just say "No. I have already explained why I won't do it. No means No."

Or just leave it to fade away over time.

When you are next together, you could pretend to take a phone call from a client asking for the same thing--explain clearly and persistently to the "client" why this will never happen, but that if the client wants to pay $__thousand dollars for your time to prepare, retouch, deliver the hundreds of images, you will be happy to do so. Note that delivery could take several months, as retouching that number of images with your busy schedule will take every minute of your free time over several months, and that Under No Circumstances will you release unretouched images, ever.

They might get the idea, or not.

Message edited by author 2011-02-18 19:49:17.

vawendy

Sony Alpha 1

02/18/2011 07:59:30 PM · #6

Sure... When I get a chance.

Just never end up getting the chance.

"oh, sorry! I forgot! Maybe next week."

"It just keeps slipping my mind."

after awhile they'll give up.

Canon RF 24-70mm f/2.8 L IS

02/18/2011 08:03:11 PM · #7

All great suggestions, I particularly like the ones about melted computers and dead hard drives! Wendy, this is actually my current approach, I was thinking they would have given up by now!

NiallOTuama

Google Pixel 2

02/18/2011 08:03:54 PM · #8

Give multiple copies of the ones you developed. Different crops. Different rotations. Different orientations. Colour. Black and white. Sepia'd. I reckon you could fill 100 or more with variations on those.
I'm sure

Art Roflmao might give you a hand shoopin' some dinos in there too.

kirbic

Canon EOS R5

02/18/2011 08:07:50 PM · #9

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

I really don't want to hand over the other shots because I believe that firstly, it takes away some of the 'glamour' of the original present, and secondly I don't want them being shown around as examples of my work.

So how else do I say no without appearing to just be difficult and lazy...

I think you answered your own question. See the part of your post which I have italicized. tell her this, and add that you hold yourself to high standards in your work, and don't wish to have substandard work shown.

tnun

Ricoh GR III

Pentax DA 18-135mm F3.5-5.6ED AL [IF] WR DC

02/18/2011 08:08:40 PM · #10

You need to say No. We all need to say No. Do it for us.

Sony FE 200-600mm f/5.6-6.3 G OSS

02/18/2011 08:10:27 PM · #11

Originally posted by kirbic:

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

I really don't want to hand over the other shots because I believe that firstly, it takes away some of the 'glamour' of the original present, and secondly I don't want them being shown around as examples of my work.

So how else do I say no without appearing to just be difficult and lazy...

I think you answered your own question. See the part of your post which I have italicized. tell her this, and add that you hold yourself to high standards in your work, and don't wish to have substandard work shown.

Tried that already, that's what got me the "I'm sure they're great" response, but yea, I'll probaly reiterate the message until they realise it's not going to happen.

vawendy

Sony Alpha 1

02/18/2011 08:16:17 PM · #12

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

Originally posted by kirbic:

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

I really don't want to hand over the other shots because I believe that firstly, it takes away some of the 'glamour' of the original present, and secondly I don't want them being shown around as examples of my work.

So how else do I say no without appearing to just be difficult and lazy...

I think you answered your own question. See the part of your post which I have italicized. tell her this, and add that you hold yourself to high standards in your work, and don't wish to have substandard work shown.

Tried that already, that's what got me the "I'm sure they're great" response, but yea, I'll probaly reiterate the message until they realise it's not going to happen.

play the guilt game.

"I did it especially for you, and picked the very best. You're really making me feel bad by continuing to ask... *sniff*, *sob*!"

Kelli

Canon EOS-D60

Canon EF 28-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM

02/18/2011 08:17:19 PM · #13

Originally posted by Covert_Oddity:

Or you could spend an hour editing a handful of the others and just give them that and tell them that's all there is. If you hand over something as opposed to nothing you could shut them up. Just think twice about how many you take in the future when dealing with them.

Sony SAL-16105 DT 16-105mm

02/18/2011 08:20:01 PM · #14

Originally posted by Kelli:

Oh taking all the shots is part and parcel if getting the good ones (for me anyway), problem is, they should never have known how many I had in the first place.

LandzEnca

Samsung TL500

02/18/2011 08:25:59 PM · #15

Last december, I went home to Manila to shoot my brother's wedding. I only got a few days leave at work so I went there three days before the wedding, enough to shoot their pre-wedding shots, and some time to get together with old relatives. I had to leave early morning after the wedding, so i was hoping they knew that the wedding photos would be sent to them a few days later.

Guess what, they asked me to copy everything into their laptop. All of them. In RAW format (they have ACR). I didn;t want to do it, but they were sweet people. I complied. :) Sometimes you just do what makes your family happy.

tanguera

Nikon D750

Nikon AF-S Nikkor 17-35mm f/2.8D IF-ED

02/18/2011 08:37:31 PM · #16

"turns out I erased everything I didn't use. Sorry".

That is my answer for anyone requesting "all the shots", if they're not paying clients.