May I have some critiques for this B&W shot?

11/23/2003 02:14:30 PM · #1

I was just playing with my camera, I needed a self-portrait for a photography contest. Well, I like to brake traditions, so I took this with the title: "Without you I am living a half life!" What do you think about it? I would be greatful to hear your opinions. :-)

Ooops.. the border looks strange. I manage it in a second. :-)

Message edited by author 2003-11-23 14:56:18.

Anastasia

Canon EOS-5D

Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM

11/23/2003 02:20:03 PM · #2

Marta, that is wonderful, I like the composition, I love simplicity. It is very good! People of DPC,watch out, she is learning a lot from kiwi :-)

jmritz

Fujifilm X30

Custom Made Pinhole

11/23/2003 02:22:33 PM · #3

A very sensitive personal shot. I like it a lot. Gives me the feeling of loneliness. Good work.

11/23/2003 02:23:11 PM · #4

Nasti thank you very much and hugs! :-* And to my very-very favourite teacher, Gary, too. :-)

jmritz thank you, too. :-) Encourage means me a lot and I get so much here at DPC.

Message edited by author 2003-11-23 14:56:33.

ButterflySis

Canon EOS-50D

Canon EF 28-90mm f/4-5.6 II USM (Silver)

11/23/2003 02:58:06 PM · #5

vadvirag, very nice shot. I think the photo is well done. However, with a title such as the one you've chosen, I kind of feel as though the face should show more pain or sadness. Your lips are turned up at the corner and your eyes are big and bright. Maybe crunching up your brows and saddening your eyes and lips would help this fit the emotion of the title better. You could even well up some tears in your eyes...?

Don't mistake my critique for saying the picture isn't good. It is very good. I just don't feel sadness and heartache in it.

Just my opinion, but I hope it helps.

Jen

jackditch

Canon EOS-300D Rebel

11/23/2003 03:10:43 PM · #6

same shot, lose the earing, it looks out of place to me. your head looks just slightly tilted. otherwise looks nice. goodluck

Sony 16-50mm f/3.5-5.6 E-mount

11/23/2003 03:15:17 PM · #7

ButterflySis you have right, the title doesn't match it well... Mmm... I guess it would be easier to change the title. :-) How about "Hopefully searching for my better half"? :-) The photo has a strange story, anyway...

jackditch: Oh yes, my earring distracts me a bit, too. I didn't want to make this shot for self-portrait challenge, because I already had one for that before, but I liked this much better. I will try it as you said, just after I get well and get rid of this cold I caught this week. :-)

Message edited by author 2003-11-23 15:19:49.

audioaltima

Canon EOS-10D

11/24/2003 12:49:34 AM · #8

Looks pretty good! My only suggestion would be to maybe not have the hair as messy (that sounds bad, but I swear I don't mean it as bad, lol)

Either way this is a nifty portrait!

jmsetzler

Sony Alpha a6000

11/24/2003 12:51:48 AM · #9

Originally posted by audioaltima:

Looks pretty good! My only suggestion would be to maybe not have the hair as messy (that sounds bad, but I swear I don't mean it as bad, lol)

Either way this is a nifty portrait!

I think that adds quite a bit to the theme she is portraying.

Neil

Fujifilm X-T30

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

11/24/2003 01:00:38 AM · #10

Good composition. If I may make a couple of suggestions to the details: 1) Perhaps oversharpened; a softer focus might serve the mood better. 2) The reflections on the tears, and the lips, perhaps because of #1 above, are a bit distracting. The softening along might fix those, but if you are allowed to edit for the contest you are talking about, you can adjust as needed. 3) I think, if you were to reshoot, I would remove the earing.

Hope this helps. Lovely work.

crabappl3

11/24/2003 01:24:16 AM · #11

If you're allowed to do edit, here is a workup I did. Main thing to do is lighting the area around the eyes, and chin. This will help it make you not appear so sleepy. I also de-glittered your eyes and dodged some more around the mouth area.

11/24/2003 03:29:02 AM · #12

Wow, so many helpful comments again. :-) Thank you very much! Unfortunately, we are not allowed to edit photos, just the same rules like here... Oh, yeah, I look really tired on this one, after only 3 hours of sleep, that's even not that bad from me. :-)

crabappl3: thank you very much for your afterwork, may I keep your workup? I am at school now, I will download it in the evening.

P.S. I hate school keyboards. This one always mixes z-s and y-s.

Message edited by author 2003-11-24 03:31:21.

crabappl3

11/24/2003 09:42:25 AM · #13

Sure, it's your picture, feel free to use my workup in what ever manner you see fit. Let me know when you have it downloaded, and I can remove it from my gallery.

-danny

Originally posted by vadvirag: