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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Honesty and rudeness
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 01/31/2008 11:59:41 AM · #1
One of the first defenses someone accused of being rude will use is "I was just being honest." No, you were being rude. There is a difference.

Honesty is helpful, brings forth a fact that should be brought to light in a friendly and giving manner.

Rudeness is telling your version of the truth simply for the gratification of saying it, in an unpleasantly forceful way.

Honesty is critiquing art. Rudeness is saying only that the subject is too skinny or ugly.

Honesty is: "The focus is a little off, try focusing here". Rudeness is: "Why did you even try?"
 01/31/2008 12:04:27 PM · #2
I agree with you 100%. I still think that most people are afraid of honesty, so they still won't take an honest comment as honest. They will think the comment came from an inexperienced person or someone who is just being mean.
 01/31/2008 12:06:30 PM · #3
"I think it all sucks" is an honest rude reply.

It is not only honesty and rudeness, you can be on the edge of rudeness and still honest...


01/31/2008 12:12:06 PM · #4
Originally posted by Azrifel:
"I think it all sucks" is an honest rude reply.

Yeah you may feel like you're being honest, but you're saying that to someone who thought they put their best effort into their work, so that makes it hurtful and rude. Have you been hanging around my mum?
 01/31/2008 12:18:20 PM · #5
Is this the nice way of discussing, "Don't be a dick?"
 01/31/2008 12:23:16 PM · #6
Originally posted by _eug:
Is this the nice way of discussing, "Don't be a dick?"


*sigh* I miss that thread, it was a great friend.
 01/31/2008 12:27:09 PM · #7
I think the problem with this thread is that you assume that honesty and rudeness are mutually exclusive.

Why the hell did you even bother? ;-)
 01/31/2008 12:28:53 PM · #8
It's also important to note that, since we're in the internet, body language and tone are almost completely excluded from communication so you need to choose your words appropriately.
 01/31/2008 12:34:01 PM · #9
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
Originally posted by _eug:
Is this the nice way of discussing, "Don't be a dick?"


*sigh* I miss that thread, it was a great friend.


Yeah but direct name calling is so much better...

;-P
 01/31/2008 12:42:51 PM · #10
Originally posted by thegrandwazoo:


Yeah but direct name calling is so much better...

;-P


Richard Cranium!
 01/31/2008 12:43:27 PM · #11
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
Originally posted by thegrandwazoo:


Yeah but direct name calling is so much better...

;-P


Richard Cranium!


I resemble that remark! :-P
 01/31/2008 12:44:12 PM · #12
I think what the OP means to highlight, is the difference between being tactful and being rude. It's possible to be honest and be either tactful or rude.
01/31/2008 12:46:06 PM · #13
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I think what the OP means to highlight, is the difference between being tactful and being rude. It's possible to be honest and be either tactful or rude.


Yes... and tactfully put :-D
 01/31/2008 01:12:26 PM · #14
Rudeness drapes an attitude over the facts. It is therefore dishonest.
 01/31/2008 01:20:02 PM · #15
Rudeness is an art. For instance, schadenfreude.
 01/31/2008 01:20:22 PM · #16
I think you can be politely honest or rudely honest.... both are honest... its just about being considerate of the emotional wellbeing of the receiver.
 01/31/2008 01:38:16 PM · #17
This thread might be a good place for examples. In one of the recent challenges I had a guy comment:
"This makes me want to puke" I didn't find that too helpful, especially since I had several other comments saying how great the technique was. Some people just like to be rude.
 01/31/2008 01:40:15 PM · #18
Originally posted by pineapple:
Rudeness is an art. For instance, schadenfreude.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... the only way I know this is through Avenue Q.
 01/31/2008 01:59:17 PM · #19
It is also possible to be tactful and dishonest. For example:

"I think that this thread is delightfully conceived".

Or am I being rude?
 01/31/2008 01:59:53 PM · #20
Originally posted by Xuko:
This thread might be a good place for examples. In one of the recent challenges I had a guy comment:
"This makes me want to puke" I didn't find that too helpful, especially since I had several other comments saying how great the technique was. Some people just like to be rude.

Actually, I think he said "The false coloring made me ill." That's a bit more specific and perhaps slightly less offensive. Nevertheless, he has left some very rude comments.
 01/31/2008 02:14:06 PM · #21
Originally posted by Matthew:
It is also possible to be tactful and dishonest. For example:


More times than not dishonesty is tactful.
 01/31/2008 02:14:50 PM · #22
Originally posted by Xuko:
This thread might be a good place for examples.


O.K., here is an example and maybe the outlet that I have been looking for since the results of the Best of 2007 came out. Opinions please:

I have been bothered by a shot that a friend here entered that is almost exactly the same composition as a shot that I entered in the April Free Study. The fact that it is almost the exact same shot as mine is not my issue here. The problem that I have is that this friend used the exact same title that I gave mine. A unique name that she was aware that I used for my shot of the same subject and nearly exact composition. In other words, she flat out used my title (which took quite a while to come up with) without even a mention of how she decided to title her version.

1. Do you see anything wrong with this or am I way off base here?
2. (back on topic) Is it more rude to point out how I honestly feel than what she did in the first place?

I have strongly hinted at this issue in two places that I know she will notice without any response. I was considering leaving an honest comment on her entry about the title or even posting the thumbnail of my shot in the comments of her shot and saying "Here is the original ______", both of which might be considered rude. Because it might be rude I decided not to go there yet.

I also considered starting a new thread but that is definitely not what I am going to do.

I'll probably bring it up to her directly and I will probably feel like a crybaby if/when she credits me with this unique title (even typing this I now feel like an unreasonable complainer).

I want to address this in an honest way but don't want to be overly rude. What do you think?

Message edited by author 2008-01-31 14:19:02.
 01/31/2008 02:15:26 PM · #23
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
One of the first defenses someone accused of being rude will use is "I was just being honest." No, you were being rude. There is a difference.


I think this is possibly a good way to tell if you are being rude, rather than being honest.

If you ever or often feel the need to defend comments you make as 'I was just being honest' or 'I just tell it like it is'
then you are in fact being rude. Easy test I think.
 01/31/2008 02:18:29 PM · #24
Originally posted by yakatme:
... I'll probably bring it up to her directly ...

If it's really bothering you that much then this sounds like the best approach. I wouldn't air this publicly IMO.

Keep in mind, this site IS only a game, so to speak, with no real prizes, etc...nothing that should put a friendship in jeopardy. Good luck - hope you get it sorted out.
 01/31/2008 02:19:25 PM · #25
Originally posted by yakatme:

I'll probably bring it up to her directly and I will probably feel like a crybaby if/when she credits me with this unique title (even typing this I now feel like an unreasonable complainer).


You should probably just contact them directly, rather than obliquely posting about it, maybe ? They do look pretty similar. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery ?

ETA: Though it has to be said, a couple of minutes googling found several articles with the same title and a quick search on flickr found a load of images of the same composition with the same title too, though those could be yours I suppose.

Message edited by author 2008-01-31 14:44:00.
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