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09/12/2007 07:56:46 PM · #1 |
I found them kind of funny..
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
Policeman: Knock, knock.
Woman: Who's there?
Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell.
Eventually they all starved to death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape the Nazis.
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."
The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit."
Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop?
Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related.
Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite?
Dog-owner: No.
Man: Can I pet him?
Dog-owner: No, he has a form of eczema that makes him skin weep if touched.
How can you tell when an Essex girl wants sex?
She displays signs of arousal, such as enlargement of the clitoris and swelling of the labia.
What's the difference between a rottwieller and a poodle?
There are many differences. They are two totally different breeds of dog.
What do you get if you cross a horse and a donkey?
A mule.
A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on a plane.
However, it is a short flight and they do not talk to each other.
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
You call him an ambulance. He may have fractured his skull. |
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09/12/2007 07:58:58 PM · #2 |
| It took me a few jokes, but I eventually found them funny too. |
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09/12/2007 08:00:27 PM · #3 |
| you know...maybe one or two sad jokes would be inappropriate. But after a handful they stop being so sad. Still inappropriate, but nowhere near as sad. |
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09/12/2007 08:02:09 PM · #4 |
The last one gave me a chuckle.
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09/12/2007 08:08:40 PM · #5 |
It must be the UK/US divide when it comes to humour. I thought they were great, I love irrelavent stuff like that, you guys still like "Benny Hill" and "Are you being served?"
I rest my case. |
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09/12/2007 08:11:45 PM · #6 |
Originally posted by Simms:
It must be the UK/US divide when it comes to humour. I thought they were great, I love irrelavent stuff like that, you guys still like "Benny Hill" and "Are you being served?"
I rest my case. |
Must be, i loved them
I have another but i may be too much for public viewing
Kev |
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09/12/2007 08:26:25 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by Simms:
It must be the UK/US divide when it comes to humour. I thought they were great, I love irrelavent stuff like that, you guys still like "Benny Hill" and "Are you being served?"
I rest my case. |
I always like Faulty Towers and Good Neighbors.
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09/12/2007 08:33:09 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by David Ey:
Originally posted by Simms:
It must be the UK/US divide when it comes to humour. I thought they were great, I love irrelavent stuff like that, you guys still like "Benny Hill" and "Are you being served?"
I rest my case. |
I always like Faulty Towers and Good Neighbors. |
I kinda prefer the humour of Coupling. BBC version, not NBC version. |
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09/12/2007 08:38:37 PM · #9 |
oh, and I forgot about Open All Hours and To The Manor Born.
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09/12/2007 08:52:23 PM · #10 |
| Mr Bean, The Black Adder, and don't forget Monty Python's Flying Circus! |
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09/12/2007 09:02:03 PM · #11 |
Ab Fab! I hurt myself laughing when I watch.
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09/12/2007 09:09:06 PM · #12 |
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09/12/2007 09:16:03 PM · #13 |
These two guys walk into a bar. You would have thought the second guy would have seen it coming.
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09/12/2007 09:29:46 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by taterbug:
The Young Ones. |
oooooooooo!
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09/12/2007 09:54:04 PM · #15 |
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09/12/2007 09:55:01 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by macpapas:
These two guys walk into a bar. You would have thought the second guy would have seen it coming. |
sweet. :) |
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09/12/2007 10:06:13 PM · #17 |
A rich old man is lying in bed one morning when he hears a knock at the door. At the door, he finds an elephant, a hair-dresser, a blonde and a rabbi.
"We're very hungry and have no money sir, can you please give us breakfast?"
Sure said the rich old man.
At the breakfast table, they had the choice of Cheerios or Frosted Flakes. The blonde and rabbi have Cheerios, the rest (including the rich old man) have Frosted Flakes.
Moral: More people like Frosted Flakes than Cheerios.
Message edited by author 2007-09-12 22:06:47. |
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09/14/2007 07:05:32 AM · #18 |
Originally posted by chip_k:
Moral: More people like Frosted Flakes than Cheerios. |
If this happened in Florida, I demand a recount!
Message edited by author 2007-09-14 07:06:00.
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09/14/2007 07:42:48 AM · #19 |
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