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 06/27/2007 09:45:05 AM · #1
Hey Guys,

Apologies now for the long post!

I'd like to ask for your help with something. As many of you are aware 2 years ago I lost my partner and since then I have been through a fair bit with my health, the worst being spending Christmas in hospital!

I like to think I've still managed to keep smiling, remain positive (most of the time) and even helped a few other people along over the weeks and months.

Now to the point of this thread. Photography has been a big part of my 'therapy' and has given me something to get up for each day. It's helped me to stay focussed and for the few months earlier this year when I was housebound it allowed me to see the everyday things in my flat in a whole new light.

I try to make greetings cards for my friends and family from my images as I have always felt its more personal...that is until now!

My Dad and I, sadly, do not speak (very long story) but last week I recevied a phone call telling me that my Dad didn't like ANY of the images he had seen of mine :o( I send him cards for birthdays, Fathers Day etc etc so this was quite upsetting. Apparently he feels that all my images are about....DEATH!

Here are a few of the photos I have used on his cards...



So, I thought I'd come here and ask you guys what you think?? I tend to use images that I am most proud of and although there has and still is a lot of sadness in my life, I thought I was producing 'half decent' work. Am I wrong? Do you only see 'DEATH' in the images in my portfolio??

I'm keen to find out what you all think.

Many thanks for reading,

Natalya

Message edited by author 2007-06-27 09:45:35.
 06/27/2007 09:50:07 AM · #2
Natalya,

I'm sorry to hear this. But I see no death in any of those images. NO death. I think it's probabaly about the perspective of the viewer. So if your dad is not in a good place (emotionally), then he may associate anything with something negative.

I think you are extremely talented. If there's one main thing I learned on this site...it is that everyone has a different opinion. Just because one person doesn't like a photograph does not mean it's not a good photograph.

Keep your head up, and keep shooting!

xoxoxo
Magen
 06/27/2007 09:52:55 AM · #3
Looking at the samples you posted...I see life. Especially #'s 3,4,5,6.

#1 and 2 are a little more sedate but nothing about them says 'death'. I suspect your Dad's perspective is influenced by advancing years and the realization of his own mortality. ??? Did you ask him what he would score them on a 1-10 scale? :P

I'm glad you are doing better and its cool that photography helps you get through some of the hard times.
 06/27/2007 09:55:50 AM · #4
Those are beautiful shots, and I don't see death in any of them. I only know what you have told us, but I'd suggest, if you have to send him a card, that you go to the drug store and send him Hallmark. No sense setting yourself up for more undeserved put-downs.
06/27/2007 09:58:21 AM · #5
I have to agree with the others. His comments and feelings about your photos probably have to do with his perspective and how he feels right now. The flowers might remind him of funerals, and the landscapes of loneliness, where as you or I might see the flowers as signs of freshness and life, and the landscapes and beautiful places of peace and serenity.

I think the shots are beautiful, and all of them would make lovely cards. Please keep doing what you're doing with them! I'm sure you have put a smile on many faces with the cards! :)
 06/27/2007 09:59:12 AM · #6
If you dad sees death in those images, then he's just mentally in a crappy place and nothing you send him will please him. Take Germaine's advice and just go with a generic store-bought card.
 06/27/2007 10:18:56 AM · #7
Thanks for your replies, I had hoped that it wasn't something all my images seemed to be 'portraying' so I am glad to read that you guys feel the same!

As for the shop bought cards...that was my instant reaction! I'll just go to the market and buy him a cheap, tacky 50p card from now on!

Message edited by author 2007-06-27 10:19:08.
 06/27/2007 10:37:08 AM · #8
talj as usual, your photography is just lovely.

People do tend to use their own experience as a guide when viewing art. your images could just as well be construed as affirmation of life.

Of course a silly purchased card, with cartoon bunnies or the like would put the ball squarely in his court. (There, find death in that if you can.)

Or if you felt motivated, maybe try one more photograph of something as deliberately funny or silly as you can manage. (Ever photograph a bunch of balloons? or a kitten?) Maybe edge it with a lively pink border.

All this is just one more way of looking at the problem, which BTW, is not yours.

Meanwhile, I hope you are doing better physically, and if you haven't yet, will soon get rid of that cast.
 06/27/2007 10:39:05 AM · #9
Flowers die, leaves die, the boat has moved on from its usable life, but I believe these are things we see through our own living eyes and they are beautiful. You've done a great job capturing these and it is unfortunate that your father doesn't see this.

Wishing you all the best in speaking with your father in the future, it is an equally beautiful thing to be with your kin.
 06/27/2007 11:20:12 AM · #10
Natalya: I agree with everyone else that I don't see death. But starting with that interpretation, here are some things I can imagine a depressed person or someone thinking of mortality might see:
- Both landscapes are desolate, with little evidence of life
- The boat is rotting
- The tree's leaves have died and fall can conjure images of failing health
- Flowers can be associated with funerals. And when they're cut, they're dead, which is why some families ask people not to send cut flowers when someone dies.

Again, *I* don't see death, but I hope this helps you understand why he might.

Thanks for the idea of making greeting cards out of my own photos!

Message edited by author 2007-06-27 11:21:41.
 06/27/2007 11:52:59 AM · #11
Nope, I see hope and life in these. Left a few comments, and didn't check to see if I had already commented on them, so you may have more than one from me now. :-) I really do like the idea of doing your own greeting cards - I'd be honored to get one! And I think you should buy your dad a nice hallmark with a lovely illustration of something cheerful.
 06/27/2007 12:23:30 PM · #12
Natalya,

My heart just aches for you and all that you have gone through. You and your photography are brimming with beauty and life. I've been praying for you and sending positive energy.

Now, I'll add your father in my prayers; because anyone who could make such a hurtful statement must truly be suffering a great deal of emotional pain.

Please PM me anytime you begin to doubt how wonderful you and your images are.

Cheers:)
Roxanne
 06/27/2007 12:40:47 PM · #13
This does make me want to cry.
The thing is, people that have been hurt sometimes get some sort of satisfaction in hurting others - like an itch they have to scratch. He made an effort to cut deep - and it would affect me the same way.

My mother told me to think of someone who is hurting me as a suffering animal in a trap - If you go near the animal, they want out but if you try to help the animal will bite you. You seem like a strong person who can bring joy. The photos are great - it's not about the photos.

Message edited by author 2007-06-27 12:41:31.
 06/27/2007 12:46:44 PM · #14
Natalya - Your dad obviously has some issues - and/or it sounds like you and your dad have some relationship issues - these are what is influencing what he sees in your images, IMO. He's injecting some context that obviously doesn't exist in the images but for his thoughts and feelings. If you aren't on very good speaking terms with him there's not much you can do, but the best thing to do may be to talk to him and ask him to tell you directly what he thinks of them.

...OR --- it could just be the printing method. I printed two of them and get this werd halftoning pattern that could be the issue...



Heehee - just kidding.

Smile & don't let this stuff get ya down. :D
06/27/2007 01:18:12 PM · #15
Thanks once again to all of you. It's funny how one persons opinion can wipe out any belief a person has in their own abilities!

And Art, you always know how to bring a bit of laughter to the place! :o)

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