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01/25/2007 11:45:28 AM · #1 |
About two weeks ago I had lunch with my friend Mike. During lunch he started talking about another friend (I don't know him) that runs an investigation service in town (pre-employment screening and a wide range of things). He pulled out a copy of the guys employment application. It was unique to say the least. It had all the normal stuff, past employment etc..... Then you turn to the second page and there is a whole list of questions. The instructions say "Answer each question using only one word, using more than one word will disqualify you from consideration."
A couple of the questions and my answers.
Q:Describe your abilities?
A:Godlike
Q:Reason for leaving current/previous job?
A:Hell
Q:Average rate of pay expected?
A:Copious
Q:Are you a strong reader?
A:Herculean
Q:Give a detailed description of your personallity.
A:Smartass
Q:Describe your family?
A:Cleaveresque
So we were laughing up a storm. Mike says "Oh I gotta show it to...."
His friend called me this morning and offered me a 50k a year job. I thought it was a joke. I told him I wouldn't possibly think of leaving my current job for less that 50,250.00. He said "No, I really want to hire you." I called my wife and told her the story and she said "Call him back and take the job." This may change a few plans my wife and I had in the coming months about starting our own buisness, but its also nearly 20,000 more a year than I make now. And I will only work 4 days a week and have 6 weeks of vacations a year. Not too shabby.
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01/25/2007 01:11:21 PM · #2 |
| Then the first day you show up for work your friend looks at you puzzled as to why you are there and says: Joking. |
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01/25/2007 01:13:45 PM · #3 |
| so what will you be doing? |
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01/25/2007 01:28:14 PM · #4 |
| Well, that method of interviewing you without your even knowing shows they know something about investigations, no? :) |
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01/25/2007 02:05:49 PM · #5 |
Dude, that's awesome. Send me an application!
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01/25/2007 02:09:07 PM · #6 |
THAT IS AWESOME! Congrats man, what will u be doing?
Very excited for you :-)
I had a similar experience that could potentially get my arrested if the files ever surface..I was applying for a volunteer position at a YMCA out west, me and the supervisor were just joking around when I filled out my application and when it came to the "why do you want to work for the YMCA?" question, he filled in "Likes little boys" for me.
Message edited by author 2007-01-25 14:12:24. |
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01/25/2007 02:11:17 PM · #7 |
I will be working on the computer/support side as part of the fraud investigations department. They do everything from workmans comp to mortgage fraud. He told me "You'll spend an obscene amount of time on Google. We also subscribe to nearly every newspaper in America and Canada."
I guess they have 3 people that do nothing but spend their days setting up a cross refrence data base using the newspapers.
He said that even though I was being a smartass on the form (which I never intended to actually be given to him) it showed I could follow instructions and had a very strong vocabulary. He also wants to see exactly what "Godlike" abilities really are. Hmmmm, I may live to regret that little joke.
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01/25/2007 02:13:07 PM · #8 |
| See, honesty does get you places! ;-) Congrats! |
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01/25/2007 02:15:25 PM · #9 |
Originally posted by vxpra:
... He said that even though I was being a smartass on the form ... |
At least you described yourself correctly. :D |
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01/25/2007 02:16:04 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by vxpra:
...He also wants to see exactly what "Godlike" abilities really are. Hmmmm, I may live to regret that little joke... |
If you screw up, just say, "God works in mysterious ways."
:-)
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01/25/2007 02:18:29 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by vxpra:
He also wants to see exactly what "Godlike" abilities really are. Hmmmm, I may live to regret that little joke. |
You just have to move in mysterious ways.
Make everyone you work with argue if you ever do anything or if it just happened by accident.
Be sure and never be seen by any of the other employees.
Leave notes around, particularly chiseled on large stone tablets.
Set fire to a trash can in the office one day. Keep adding fuel to it secretly so it burns for a long time.
Block the toilet some day and flood the office. Release doves when the plumber fixes it and the water subsides.
Tempt naked women with your 'forbidden fruit'. Wave your snake at them.
Message edited by author 2007-01-25 14:19:24.
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01/25/2007 02:24:17 PM · #12 |
| Once I used to say about my job that I must be in heaven. All the bosses thought they were godlike. Seriuosly, keep us informed as to if the atmosphere is heavenly for a godlike person. |
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01/25/2007 02:29:57 PM · #13 |
There's actually an interesting moral to this story. If Vxpra had actually been applying for the job, he'd presumably not have given those over-the-top answers, and he probably would not have gotten hired. I think more people miss out on jobs by trying to give the interviewers what they think they want than lose them by being too flagrantly individualistic. I could be wrong. But I know when I have been in the position to hire I always preferred creative individualism to part-line brown-nosers :-)
R.
Oh, and congrats on the new job!
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01/25/2007 03:23:06 PM · #14 |
| Yep. The different style of answers would definitely have gotten you further in our application process than some of the boring stuff people churn out. It's all about taking that extra step - though a bit of humility helps after you've got the interview. |
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01/25/2007 04:42:27 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
... I think more people miss out on jobs by trying to give the interviewers what they think they want than lose them by being too flagrantly individualistic. I could be wrong. ... |
O, you're dead wrong! I have decades of experience of preventing anyone from hiring me doing precisely what you suggest here. It's been fun in a bitter-sweet sort of way. Alas, I can't recommend it, unless of course, there is indeed someone else in this world who's willing to pay a price he can't afford. :-/ |
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01/25/2007 04:52:08 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by zeuszen:
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
... I think more people miss out on jobs by trying to give the interviewers what they think they want than lose them by being too flagrantly individualistic. I could be wrong. ... |
O, you're dead wrong! I have decades of experience of preventing anyone from hiring me doing precisely what you suggest here. It's been fun in a bitter-sweet sort of way. Alas, I can't recommend it, unless of course, there is indeed someone else in this world who's willing to pay a price he can't afford. :-/ |
So true! Try to prejudge and you will fail. Walk away after speaking and the idiots will follow! Know your worth, then double it! |
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01/25/2007 04:57:09 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I think more people miss out on jobs by trying to give the interviewers what they think they want than lose them by being too flagrantly individualistic. |
That may be true in some areas, but my experience has been that employers will hire the predictable clone over the individual.
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01/25/2007 05:15:39 PM · #18 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I think more people miss out on jobs by trying to give the interviewers what they think they want than lose them by being too flagrantly individualistic. |
That may be true in some areas, but my experience has been that employers will hire the predictable clone over the individual. |
That's what you get for being an engineer though. Replaceable, interchangeable parts we are.
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