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12/12/2006 10:23:07 PM · #1 |
| Have you ever stood there at the mirror, trying to get your contact lenses out, poking at your eye, trying to grab them from every angle, pulling... pulling... only to realize you had already taken them out half an hour ago, and that you've actually been pulling at your eyeball for the last 10 minutes? I hate when that happens. |
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12/12/2006 10:24:22 PM · #2 |
Hey, Alan, I hate to tell you this, but you also forgot to wipe off the shaving cream from under your nose.
;) |
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12/12/2006 10:25:04 PM · #3 |
For the record, it was actually Ranch dressing. Not that this makes it any less disgusting... ;)
Originally posted by ursula:
Hey, Alan, I hate to tell you this, but you also forgot to wipe off the shaving cream from under your nose.
;) |
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12/12/2006 10:25:05 PM · #4 |
Oh..... You poor man..... I think you need glasses..... or a new memory for xmas.
Originally posted by alanfreed:
Have you ever stood there at the mirror, trying to get your contact lenses out, poking at your eye, trying to grab them from every angle, pulling... pulling... only to realize you had already taken them out half an hour ago, and that you've actually been pulling at your eyeball for the last 10 minutes? I hate when that happens. |
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12/12/2006 10:26:01 PM · #5 |
Originally posted by alanfreed:
For the record, it was actually Ranch dressing. Not that this makes it any less disgusting... ;)
Originally posted by ursula:
Hey, Alan, I hate to tell you this, but you also forgot to wipe off the shaving cream from under your nose.
;) |
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You shave with Ranch dressing? That's weird. |
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12/12/2006 10:29:45 PM · #6 |
Originally posted by ursula:
Originally posted by alanfreed:
For the record, it was actually Ranch dressing. Not that this makes it any less disgusting... ;)
Originally posted by ursula:
Hey, Alan, I hate to tell you this, but you also forgot to wipe off the shaving cream from under your nose.
;) |
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You shave with Ranch dressing? That's weird. |
It's rich, it's creamy, and if you'd ever actually tasted shaving cream, you'd understand. :)
I'm with you Alan! |
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12/12/2006 10:31:14 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by EBJones:
Originally posted by ursula:
Originally posted by alanfreed:
For the record, it was actually Ranch dressing. Not that this makes it any less disgusting... ;)
Originally posted by ursula:
Hey, Alan, I hate to tell you this, but you also forgot to wipe off the shaving cream from under your nose.
;) |
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You shave with Ranch dressing? That's weird. |
It's rich, it's creamy, and if you'd ever actually tasted shaving cream, you'd understand. :)
I'm with you Alan! |
.... Ursula wonders if it works on armpits .... |
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12/12/2006 11:14:17 PM · #8 |
yea, and how does it work if you have dry skin?
and do people start throwing lettuce at you when you walk by? |
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12/13/2006 12:16:14 AM · #9 |
| Hey Alan, it could be worse - you could have successfully pulled out that "contact lens" and to find out later you have already removed your lens BEFORE you pulled that other "contact lens" out! |
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12/13/2006 02:18:23 AM · #10 |
Originally posted by ursula:
.... Ursula wonders if it works on armpits .... |
Alan shaves his armpits? |
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12/13/2006 02:30:01 AM · #11 |
| How about the other way around? When you can't see where the contacts are in the contact case? I'm so blind, sometimes it's just stuck to the cap or on my finger. >_< |
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12/13/2006 02:48:18 AM · #12 |
Originally posted by alanfreed:
Have you ever stood there at the mirror, trying to get your contact lenses out, poking at your eye, trying to grab them from every angle, pulling... pulling... only to realize you had already taken them out half an hour ago, and that you've actually been pulling at your eyeball for the last 10 minutes? I hate when that happens. |
I did that once only to realize I don't wear contacts.
no. not really. |
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12/13/2006 02:51:44 AM · #13 |
.
Message edited by author 2006-12-13 02:52:27. |
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12/13/2006 03:04:16 AM · #14 |
I once had a wife who shaved her legs with olive oil...
R.
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12/13/2006 03:08:18 AM · #15 |
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I once had a wife who shaved her legs with olive oil...
R. |
Your wife shaved her legs with Popeye's girlfriend? Weird.
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12/13/2006 03:37:47 AM · #16 |
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I once had a wife who shaved her legs with olive oil...
R. |
I liked the way you have written it:
"I once had a wife .."
how many of them you had.
And are you lucky to have much more than us, or you were unlucky enough to have married them for the first place.
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12/13/2006 11:01:12 AM · #17 |
Originally posted by zxaar:
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I once had a wife who shaved her legs with olive oil...
R. |
I liked the way you have written it:
"I once had a wife .."
how many of them you had.
And are you lucky to have much more than us, or you were unlucky enough to have married them for the first place. |
My friend (who has only been married once) still introduces his wife as "My First Wife Terry".
i think she secretly likes it. |
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12/13/2006 11:06:08 AM · #18 |
Originally posted by Pedro:
My friend (who has only been married once) still introduces his wife as "My First Wife Terry".
i think she secretly likes it. |
Maybe it gives her hope ?
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12/13/2006 11:10:36 AM · #19 |
Originally posted by alanfreed:
Have you ever stood there at the mirror, trying to get your contact lenses out, poking at your eye, trying to grab them from every angle, pulling... pulling... only to realize you had already taken them out half an hour ago, and that you've actually been pulling at your eyeball for the last 10 minutes? I hate when that happens. |
Yes. I have.
I am equally guilty of standing half-asleep in the shower trying to remember if I have already used shampoo on my head. |
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12/13/2006 11:26:01 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by Pedro:
Originally posted by zxaar:
Originally posted by Bear_Music:
I once had a wife who shaved her legs with olive oil...
R. |
I liked the way you have written it:
"I once had a wife .."
how many of them you had.
And are you lucky to have much more than us, or you were unlucky enough to have married them for the first place. |
My friend (who has only been married once) still introduces his wife as "My First Wife Terry".
i think she secretly likes it. |
I should try this, at church, "scandalize" the old ladies: "This is my first husband ..." It's so much fun to scandalize the ladies. |
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12/13/2006 12:08:57 PM · #21 |
No, I haven't.
Probably you're the first one. Submit it to the Guiness Book of world records. No wait, you've been beat by 12 seconds. |
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12/13/2006 01:23:18 PM · #22 |
Originally posted by alanfreed:
Have you ever stood there at the mirror, trying to get your contact lenses out, poking at your eye, trying to grab them from every angle, pulling... pulling... only to realize you had already taken them out half an hour ago, and that you've actually been pulling at your eyeball for the last 10 minutes? I hate when that happens. |
LOL! Yes I have done this!! Pinched and pinched my eyeball until it hurt only to discover I had already taken them out. The ones I use now have a 'light blue' color in the middle...makes it easier to find them! :)
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12/13/2006 01:25:31 PM · #23 |
question is can you still see???
I did this the first day I got my contacts, then I found it in the sink!!
edit: Alan, the Steelers should have used your 'Moon over Pittsburgh' shot on their xmas cards...or did you shoot the 'other' one?? :-)
Message edited by author 2006-12-13 13:26:55.
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