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09/27/2006 08:25:26 AM · #26 |
Sheila I am horrible at words in these situations. Just know my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
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09/27/2006 08:31:42 AM · #27 |
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09/27/2006 08:41:04 AM · #28 |
Dear Sheila, my condolences on the loss of your mother. Try not to let guilt sweep over you. Take comfort that you were able to spend time with her before she passed - those will become treasured moments. From what I read her children gave her the freedom to be the active individual she wanted to be with her children coming by to spent time with her on friendly & loving visits (not ones in which the main purpose was to worryingly hover over her to make sure she was O.K. 24/7.)The freedom to be the active individual she wanted to be and the love of her family were with her always - in that respect, she could not have been alone.
My best wishes go out to you and your family in this time of sorrow. |
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09/27/2006 08:43:27 AM · #29 |
Sheila, my sincere condolensces to you and your family. Like Sher said, it was just her time to go, and going quickly and peacefully is a blessing for her. Your feelings of guilt are very normal, but even if you were right there when it happened, in reality there's probably not a lot you could've done for her. Please don't scrutinize yourself for not being there. She passed knowing that she had a very loving family, and would have probably preferred you not witnessing that.
Take care, and take some time for yourself (when possible).
Marc |
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09/27/2006 09:24:24 AM · #30 |
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Sheila. In time the pain will heal if you allow it to.
Robt.
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09/27/2006 09:26:48 AM · #31 |
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Roxanne |
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09/27/2006 09:31:07 AM · #32 |
I'm sure that your mother went happily, it sounds like you guys spent some time together that same day. My condolences to you and your family.
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09/27/2006 10:44:27 AM · #33 |
Hugs, (((( Sheila ))) - and add me to the chorus of condolences.
I'm glad you have a sister to help you get through this.
If you DO decide at some point that you need to get away for a bit, please remember my previous offer - there is a guest room waiting for you at my place. |
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09/27/2006 10:47:04 AM · #34 |
| hugs.... I am so sorry for your loss.. |
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09/27/2006 10:58:31 AM · #35 |
Sheila, very sorry to hear about your family's loss, my condolences to you and your family in this difficult time.
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09/27/2006 11:12:37 AM · #36 |
I'm so sorry for your loss, you and your family are in my thoughts.
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09/27/2006 11:55:56 AM · #37 |
very sorry to hear this... here's a prayer for you and your family...
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09/27/2006 12:05:30 PM · #38 |
| Sorry to hear about your the sad loss of your mother. My prayers are with you. |
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09/27/2006 12:37:01 PM · #39 |
| Sheila, I'm so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts are with you. |
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09/27/2006 12:45:41 PM · #40 |
| To all those in this thread and those who sent pm's, a heartfelt thank you. I do feel your presence, and it will help me get through the next few weeks. I love you all. |
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09/27/2006 12:52:24 PM · #41 |
| Your strength is an inspiration to all of us. Many of us are of the baby boomer age and will go through similar losses soon. My wife lost both of her parents last year within two months of each other. I know it is hard and you have such a great attitude of love and caring. Thanks for letting us share. |
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09/27/2006 01:03:28 PM · #42 |
| My thoughts are with you and your family. We had a similar experience in my family. This is difficult, but the guilt you feel now will not last. Please remember the good times you and your mother shared; I'm sure that is what she would want you to do. |
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09/27/2006 01:08:01 PM · #43 |
| BeeCee, I can't make it not hurt, though I wish I could, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. |
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09/27/2006 01:39:38 PM · #44 |
Much love to you and your family BeeCee.
Message edited by author 2006-09-27 23:37:19. |
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09/27/2006 02:24:22 PM · #45 |
Sheila,
I am sorry for your loss and glad you posted here. Sounds like you need someone to talk to. I hope you understand that your presence would not have prevented this, nor would finding out sooner changed the end result. We all go through life and our daily routines, and you were doing yours. Visiting your mother on that regular of a basis is far more than many people can say, I think you are a wonderful person for the way you behaved, respecting your mother and not checking on her all the time but staying in touch. Sounds to me like you had a close relationship and a good one. I would encourage you to treasure that closeness and memories. I will pray for you and your family, if you need some one to talk to then feel free to PM me, I will write back.
God Bless.
Justin |
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09/27/2006 02:37:21 PM · #46 |
Sheila,
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like she lived a full life right to the end and had loving family...the things we all hope for. I know you'll miss her greatly and you are in my prayers.
Judy |
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09/27/2006 02:37:45 PM · #47 |
such is life, you never know when is your time,
very sorry about your loss. |
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09/27/2006 02:59:38 PM · #48 |
Shiela,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Mum nearly three months ago. She was ill for a long time and suffered terribly. She was very weak and still she fought against death with every breath she took.
If the coroner says your Mum went quickly, then that's a Godsend. It's no comfort, I know.
Take care and best wishes,
Irene
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09/27/2006 03:07:05 PM · #49 |
Really, really sorry to hear about this very sad part of life and how it happened so suddenly for you. Hope you are listening to the very good advice from the other posters here, knowing that you've not got any reason to feel guilty. I think feeling guilty is a way for us to deal with the pain and shock of loss. It's wonderful that you were able to be together with your mom on that last day. I hope you can treasure the time you spent with her and feel consolation knowing how much she loved you. And know that there are many of us here who will listen to your sorrow - we do care very much.
I'm thinking about you and sending you wishes for strengh and comfort.
Amy |
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09/27/2006 04:29:59 PM · #50 |
Sheila
So sorry to hear of your loss, my mother in law died last year and my wife still cries about it. Try not to feel guilty about her being alone, that being said though, my mother in law died of a heart attack right in front of me and even though I did CPR by direction from the emergency operator until the ambulance arrived, it was a minute or 2 after she went down that I started that. For months I had a strange feeling of pride because while I'd never done CPR before and was proud that I'd been able to function, I felt guilty that I hadn't benn able to start straight away and that might have kept her with us. The doctors said she was gone straight away but the feeling persists, you know?
What you are going through is very difficult and it will get worse before it gets better. But we of DPC are here for you anytime. Heh, with us all around the world, anytime can be taken literally!
*hugs*
Dave |
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