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05/27/2005 03:58:35 PM · #26 |
Hi Laurie - I was very touched to read your post. I felt sad that after 15 years you have to part. But by the end of your post I felt happy for you. You have made what is probably the most difficult decision you will ever have to make. Being happy and contentded with your life is so, so important.
I wish you and your family peace, happiness and contentment.
I know this sounds corney but dont forget we 'are here' for you
Mike
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05/27/2005 04:02:25 PM · #27 |
Many many prayers and thoughts and lots of well wishing for you, your children, and your family. I know it's a hard thing to go through and sometimes life takes us on paths we never thought our feet would touch.
May all of the years of your life give you happiness and adventure, peace and tranquility. |
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05/27/2005 04:17:14 PM · #28 |
(((hugs))) Love and support from down here Laurie, I'm thinging of you and the boys
sue
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05/27/2005 05:35:40 PM · #29 |
| Sometimes you have to dismantle something to fix it. Five more years of unpleasantness isn't going to do anyone in your family any favours and, most likely, the outcome would have been the same somewhere down the line. From what I have seen you write in the forums over the past year, you don't strike me as someone who needs much extra advice on what to do right now. It'll be tough in the short-term but the prospect of a life on your own terms, and the knock-on benefits that will have for your kids, will get you through it. As for your kids, remember that there's no such thing in this world as over-communication and treat your future together as a team challenge. Best wishes. Ben |
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05/27/2005 05:48:01 PM · #30 |
| I know I don't even know you, but I wanted to say that you and your family will be in my prayers. Good luck and God bless. |
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05/27/2005 06:07:24 PM · #31 |
Many have said it better than I could, but I want to echo Barbara's sentiments most especially.
Laurie, I understand your comment about this community being like another part of your family and you know how much I value our friendship.
Anyway I can give support, I'll be honoured to give it.
I'll be sending good vibes for a very bright future for you, for your children and for your husband too. Things will be quite different for all of you but I'm confident you can move forward and grow and find happiness in new places.
Lots of love, Laurie, my friend.
Kavita
Message edited by author 2005-05-27 18:11:03.
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05/27/2005 10:00:28 PM · #32 |
The posts in this thread are exactly why I treasure being a part of this community. Thanks so much for your kind sentiments and support. :o)
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05/27/2005 10:11:08 PM · #33 |
Best of luck Laurie!
We love you and will always be here for you! Be strong! OUr prayers are with you!
*** hugs ***
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05/27/2005 10:14:38 PM · #34 |
Laurie,
I truly feel for you and the situation that you're in. I am very glad you have the courage to do what I, for too long, could not.
May your new path take you and your family to the happiness you deserve.
Sara
*edit - spelling
Message edited by author 2005-05-27 23:02:41.
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05/27/2005 10:15:24 PM · #35 |
Been there, done that myself, with the exception that the kids weren't mine. Kept the relationship intact and civil until they'd both graduated high school (didn't want them to lose TWO fathers to divorce in such short order) but my own sanity required that I separate myself from an abusive and manipulative wife.
Knowing you as "well" as I do from in here, I'm sure you're doing the righ thing. Just keep looking forward and soldier on!
Robt.
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05/27/2005 10:33:12 PM · #36 |
Hi Laurie,
Lots of us have gone through difficult decisions like this and I know that you're doing what you truly believe to be right. You're an absolute sweetie and I am glad to offer my support in any way possible, even if it's only through whatever positive vibes I can send your way. Good luck through this transition, Laurie. I hope that everything works out the best possible way for everyone in your family. |
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05/27/2005 10:46:55 PM · #37 |
Laurie, you already know I have already walked where you are going, so I can tell you that you will later see what you did as what you had to, and you will be at peace. Just keep walking and pay attention to the voice inside you.
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05/27/2005 10:49:38 PM · #38 |
"I'm walking away a winner, walking back into my life".
--Kathy Mattea "Walking Away a Winner"
You know we all have your back. :) Hugs and love.
Clara |
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05/27/2005 11:27:24 PM · #39 |
I've been through a broken marriage before, so don't be surprised if you have your high and low moments, even if this was mutual. Over time you will be much happier and be more like your usual self. Your kids will notice the difference and be much happier.
At least you are parting amicably, it makes it so much easier.
Good luck there Laurie, you'll be fine.
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05/27/2005 11:37:42 PM · #40 |
I wish you the best Laurie. And as everyone has said, we are here for you. I to divorced some years ago after a 6 year relationship. It was not easy, but it sure made my life better.
James |
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05/27/2005 11:52:36 PM · #41 |
The pain of a broken world! So, so sorry to hear this. But you know best. And we will be there in the hours of doubt and loneliness and pain. That's what friends are for, for the bad times. Life is too short to mess it up with unhappiness.... I should know. My prayers go with you, her and your kids. You are all victims, nobody wins.
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05/28/2005 12:06:39 AM · #42 |
| I applaud your decision and courage. I have too often seen many of my female friends in unhappy, uncommunicative, empty and destructive relationships/marriages and have encouraged them to leave. I think the most difficult thing in such a change is finding your own identity and sheding the Mrs. so-and-so one. I wish you and your family the best. |
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05/28/2005 02:17:13 AM · #43 |
| What to say, Laurie? You are in my thoughts, and I will lift up a prayer for you from time to time in the coming days. I know I speak for us all in saying that your DPC family is here for you. May the bond of love and support between you and your boys be strong, and may you all grow closer with the passage of time. |
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05/28/2005 10:49:46 PM · #44 |
Love ya hon.... :-)
Message edited by author 2005-05-28 22:50:27. |
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05/28/2005 10:51:29 PM · #45 |
Hey Laurie...
Hang in there, you know we love you and we'll support you every step of the way.
-Terry
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05/28/2005 11:15:45 PM · #46 |
Laurie, as hard as this is, keeping one eye on the future and all the glory it holds is one way to get past the day to day "stuff". You will be stronger for having been through this. Remember how many people here love you. I am near the top of that list!!
Barbara
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07/14/2005 06:15:59 PM · #47 |
Well, as an update...I went to court on July 11 for the final hearing, and the judge refused to grant our divorce based on some technicality with the paperwork. I was told to refile a certain paper and return on August 2. So that means another month technically married, another month of having to pay his $800-a-month insurance premium through my employer, another month of dealing with his problems...and it was really, really discouraging.
During the time between the last time this thread was active and today, he has been hospitalized three times for overdoses of prescription medications (the source of much tension the past 4 years). The most recent hospitalization began today, about 4 hours ago. He is currently in the ICU after taking a cocktail of 126 tablets of various kinds, yet somehow he survived. His stomach has been pumped, his vital signs are stable, and he will be observed for at least 24 hours to see what kind of (if any) long term damage he may have done to his organs. The doctors are rather confused as to how he keeps staying alive after ingesting medication in the amounts he does. The hospital's social worker and psychologist are going to work with me to try to find a long-term residential treatment facility for him to enter when he is released from the hospital. He says he didn't try to take his own life, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did. He's tried it before at least three times of which I'm aware. Before this hospitalization, and the two previous in the past 6 or 8 weeks, he has been inpatient for psychiatric reasons at least 7 other times in the past 4 years. Nothing is helping, not detoxing, not counseling, not medications (even when he takes them correctly as prescribed), nothing. I guess it's a good thing that we are technically still married because my insurance is covering his stays and it also gives me the legal right to have access to his medical records and help make decisions about his care. Even if we aren't going to be married anymore, I can't help but care about him and want him to be well if only for the sake of our children.
I know that God won't ever put more on me than I can handle, but I sure wish he didn't trust me so much sometimes. This four-year oddysey into the worlds of addiction and the mental health community has been devistating for us emotionally, physically, financially, and psychologically. However unintential, it will be a very long time before I can pick up all the broken pieces of the life I used to know, but hopefully, with the help and support of my family and friends, I can use the challenges I face as opportunities to grow and evolve as a person, and build a new life for myself and my children that is surrounded by love, safety, and peace.
Thanks for listening.
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07/14/2005 06:18:57 PM · #48 |
And with all that you still find time to take great photos and make witty remarks here. I personally admire your fortitude and strength. Hope things start turning around for yo soon.
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07/14/2005 06:21:45 PM · #49 |
| My heart goes out to you all. Decisions such as yours are never easy, and I always have huge amounts of respect and admiration for those that have the courage to reach for a better life. Good luck! |
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07/14/2005 06:35:42 PM · #50 |
| Oh Laurie, I'm so sorry you have to continue with these struggles. You are such a kind and wonderful and caring person, I know there will be super things in your future. Just keep hanging in there, knowing how much support you have here! |
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