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01/11/2005 05:40:48 AM · #26 |
I have had depression/panic attacks in the past, but for many years now, (about 12 years), I have rarely had a bad day or depression of any kind, and not one single panic attack. Life is good.
When I was depressed, all I did was sleep, certainly wasn't creative at all, didn't have the energy.
i am not making light of this at all, but thought some of you might get a chuckle out of these!
Linda |
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01/11/2005 06:17:18 AM · #27 |
I just don't have the energy to get started. I just sleep, loose interest in everything, and hate myself for that.
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01/11/2005 06:29:51 AM · #28 |
Originally posted by jonr:
I just don't have the energy to get started. I just sleep, loose interest in everything, and hate myself for that. |
That seems like it would be more of a problem where you live with the limited daylight this time of year. I get this several times a year. I take solace in knowing it only last several weeks at most, so I know it will go away.
I think I am in one now. Tsunami and the holidays. The last one I had that semi-imobilized me was when the Iraq war started.
Think positive, it's a well earned time to rest up.
Message edited by author 2005-01-11 06:34:54.
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01/11/2005 06:38:33 AM · #29 |
Not sure, as a graphic designer I have to be creative all day every day - then my personal hobbies also tend to be creative so you end up being creative all the bloody time which I truely belive effects your work.
My photography suffers, I can't think on what to shoot 90% of the time and always rush something in on the last day.
As for depression, well if it's a new feeling then it's good for creativity. In the past when things have not been so jolly, I look back at my work and photographs and this is reflected in those.
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01/11/2005 07:18:24 AM · #30 |
I had a bad week when I shot my Macro entry...
My photos seem to get quite dark and moody when I am down.
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01/11/2005 08:05:24 AM · #31 |
Originally posted by jonpink:
My photography suffers, I can't think on what to shoot 90% of the time and always rush something in on the last day. |
I can relate to that. I've had so little time to shoot anything really fulfilling recently - I get some great ideas for challenges, then run out of time and chuck one in that I shouldn't.
I think it's natural to shoot melancholy images when one feels quite gloomy, but I tend to clam up completely at those times with 'creative block'.
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01/11/2005 08:16:16 AM · #32 |
Don't know where I was when someone with my name and equipment posted this... looking at it is sooooooooooo depressing.. I think I'm going to have a quick brandy before it's too late ;-)
My lowest score....a well deserved 3,713.
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01/11/2005 02:41:35 PM · #33 |
I propose, there are three modes of living: the active life, the contemplative life and the creative life. We know much about the active life. With sufficient interest we can learn about the contemplative life. The creative life, however, is a mystery even to those who are in the midst of it. When it is not a thorn in his eye, It often goes beyond the scope of what a thinker would consider as part of a reasonable reality.
Within the active life, it is probably best to seek help, if you are suffering from clinical depression. When there is little faith in the effectiveness of professional help, the very act of reaching out and the experience of doing something to improve your quality of life and the prospect for one may do some good.
Within the contemplative life, well, you have Boethius, god and the deductive effect of noting the very real screams of those who lead the active life.
Within the creative life, you can have all this at any time of the day and night, but you cannot reason it away without a strong involvement, you cannot reach out to those who may well represent the very cause of your state you're in and you cannot simply resign, unless, of course, you are considering suicide. You could consider murder or becoming a terrorist, an unlikely choice for a creatively inclined personality.
Being who you are, the only thing you can effectively do is to try to make others feel the way you do. You can show them what you see. You can make them hear something they have never heard before. You can try to make them touch the sky and dance to the rhythm of silence. You can incite a riot within the heart, you can teach without lecturing, you can preach dissociation without preaching, you can kindle resentment towards evil.
If you have ever done something like this, you will realize that your particular actions, your art is born from the very adversities you're trying so desperately to overcome. You realize suffering is a premise for joy. You also realize (I hope) an intensity of living for yourself which is neither conceivable nor acceptable to participants in any other mode of life. First-hand exposure to the creative life, IMO, brings with it such extremes of experience that would inspire nothing but fear and loathing in those not prepared for it. I believe, this is the primary reason also for the formidable and often unreasonable opposition to art and artists.
While participants in all other modes of life are likely to receive an education (no matter if it is a formal or auto-didactively achieved one) based on the development of positive capabilities, an artist would benefit much from being trained in negative capability. This is particularly true for poets, who have no true identity, since their very occupation requires that they embody everything, including the sun and moon. Neither are there or have there ever been any schools for poetry. A good poet, instead, is self-taught. He is, in more sense than one, on his own.
Some of you may consider this a somewhat bleak view of the creative life. Yet, the benefits are significant: beyond catharsis and therapy, the healing aspect of acting out one's idiosyncrasies, an artist can transcend the plethora of negative emotions. He observes how dignity springs from humiliation, how anger and rage convert to love and care. He, of all people, if he chooses to remain committed to his craft as much as to his humanity (and if he manages to ride out this delicate poise without falling off) has the key to unlock human potential. What he does with this key, perversely, does not depend on him as it does depend on the social response he harvests.
If no chords are struck or if he is out of tune, he is delivered. If he has negative capability, he will rebuild. If his outrage, his anger is deep enough, he will rise beyond it. If he is appeased or corrupted by society, he is, for all intend and purposes, dead.
A good artist, to me, is a committed artist. His edge is directed at us, at society and at himself as a social participant. Society, customarily, will do everything to blunt that edge. He should, therefore, come prepared, expecting tsunamies.
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01/11/2005 02:52:25 PM · #34 |
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01/11/2005 02:54:20 PM · #35 |
Moods are filters on the light of life. They can come and go, but the underlying light never changes. The key is to grow to a point where you embrace the underlying light with the correct filters, and continue to create in any circumstance. Since photography is inherently subjective, it's only natural that your images would be affected by a depression, just as they would be by an elation.
Just keep shooting...
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01/11/2005 03:00:23 PM · #36 |
What a great thread. Little stories from just about everyone hits home hard. I have had episodes my whole life, and have been in one lately. Its comforting and re-assuring to know that I am not the only one. It really takes alot to open up and tell your feelings to a bunch of strangers(even if it is through a chat forum). Great advice from everyone, and thank you all for sharing! B
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01/11/2005 03:02:30 PM · #37 |
<>
Ohhhhh, now I get it. That's what's wrong with this place, and that's why my scores are always so low. You're a bunch of manic\depressive full-blown 12-cylinder wackaloons! It makes so much more sense now.
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01/11/2005 03:05:25 PM · #38 |
Originally posted by micknewton:
You're a bunch of manic\depressive full-blown 12-cylinder wackaloons! It makes so much more sense now. |
You're JUST discovering this? You might want to try searching on all the threads about update-button addiction, and post traumatic voting disorders. It gets pretty rough around here.
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01/11/2005 03:14:19 PM · #39 |
Originally posted by alanbataar:
When I was younger, I'd write, paint, play guitar, and take photos as some kind of way to help withstand the discomfort -- |
Same here. I only write decent music when I'm a wee bit down. But I do believe it's 100% mental...and ultimately controllable so I rebound pretty quick. I'm not sure how I feel about people who believe depression needs to be controlled with medication. Annnyway... |
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01/11/2005 03:17:37 PM · #40 |
Originally posted by GoldBerry:
...I do believe it's 100% mental...and ultimately controllable so I rebound pretty quick. I'm not sure how I feel about people who believe depression needs to be controlled with medication. Annnyway... |
I have to disagree with you there...depression can be controlled in some people, to some extent, without medication very successfully. But there are times when medication is necessary to treat depression. It is an illness. Most physicians will try to approach treatment without meds first, but for some people, medication is what offers hope. |
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01/11/2005 03:20:03 PM · #41 |
Originally posted by GoldBerry:
Originally posted by alanbataar:
When I was younger, I'd write, paint, play guitar, and take photos as some kind of way to help withstand the discomfort -- |
Same here. I only write decent music when I'm a wee bit down. But I do believe it's 100% mental...and ultimately controllable so I rebound pretty quick. I'm not sure how I feel about people who believe depression needs to be controlled with medication. Annnyway... |
It's like a headache, you treat it with meds! |
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01/11/2005 03:42:58 PM · #42 |
Not all headaches have to be medicated, though. :-) Sometimes, sleep works just fine.
I haven't been in a "true" depression for about 13 years now. It lasted over a year at that time, and while I didn't know a camera from a hole in the ground, I was a music major, and for me it was a lack of confidence thing. I was afraid to put any emotion into the music because my emotions were so whacked out, I wasn't sure what would come back.
Mine was a combination of chemical/spiritual things. And I didn't take medication to "get out of it." That was the spiritual side. (want to know more -- PM me).
Now, when I have bouts of what I call "low-energy" days, I find that if I can get out and take pictures, sometimes it helps lift me out of my funk, even if none of them are any good. And there are times in life when I just have to take pictures. I don't know if it effects the subject matter or anything. I haven't been able to tell.
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01/12/2005 08:58:33 AM · #43 |
Originally posted by Olyuzi:
Do you think that anger is the only emotion that makes for great, or creative, art? |
Olyuzi -- absolutely not, in fact I think that through the ages, the most beautiful art has been motivated by love and devotion, be it romantic or religious.
It\'s just that I was at my best when creating bleak and lonely or loud and angry images. There\'s a saying in therapy that \"depression is anger turned inward\" and that\'s the mechanism that was at work with me. I had lots to be angry at - I lost both my parents before I was 30, my mother struggled with cancer between my age 18 and 23 before passing, I was withdrawn and shy around women, and I had a lot of dificulty relating to people in general. I had to release the anger in some manner.
If you look at my submissions, you may notice that there aren\'t any romantic images, and aside from the \"Yellow\" entry, there aren\'t any people either, and it\'s me that\'s in the image. I don\'t \"get\" the portrait thing: it doesn\'t mean I don\'t have appreciation for them, but I haven\'t been able to do them from anything but a technical perspective... they require perhaps too much intimacy.
To those that question the necessity of meds, I\'ll go on record as saying that they probably saved my life. For some, they\'re an absolute necessity. However, I don\'t have respect for people that don\'t want to be inconvenienced by some unhappy moments in life, so they rush to their doc for a fat dose of McProzac. One of my friends (ironically, he was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver) told me that he \"has an often-fatal disease called depression\" and that\'s a pretty accurate description for people with real, clinical depression.
Zeusen said:
\"A good artist, to me, is a committed artist. His edge is directed at us, at society and at himself as a social participant. Society, customarily, will do everything to blunt that edge. He should, therefore, come prepared, expecting tsunamies.\"
You have quite the way with words! I used to feel very similar to your quote -- and this is what I was describing in my original post. The thing I\'m struggling to come to understand is that Society has not blunted my edge, but rather comfort, complacency, maturity, perhaps even happiness itself have caused the edge to buy shoreline property, pack up and retire, only to make rare and unpredictable appearances. It\'s a strange thing... |
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01/15/2005 05:34:43 PM · #44 |
When depressed I lose my drive to create...I've been down for the past month or so and have taken barely any photos at all. I have enjoyed playing with Photoshop for making non-photography related results, but I've generally not been happy with my photo editing lately. Hence why I haven't entered any challenges for a looooooooong time...
So...Depression for me = no creativity... More often I get better results when I'm happy and energetic, when depressed I just want to sit and veg and ignore the rest of the world...
My depression comes and goes...generally when I don't have friends around to keep me from falling in on myself and beating myself up...I'm a very self-critical person so I need others to help lift me up and keep me from nose-diving.
My boyfriend and I broke up mid-October so that started this and it really got bad in December when school let out and my friends and I went home. The break was nice, but I had nothing to occupy me and I started to get really down because my only friend nearby was my ex and I wasn't sure where we stood with each other. Right now I'm improving because we're talking again and helping each other out. He's always been able to help pull me out of my funks...
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01/15/2005 05:46:02 PM · #45 |
thats it for me i just play, play, play-put on some of my favs.(BB King, Buddy Guy, SRV) and i try to keep up i do take shots when i'm depressed but they are in B&W, sepia, or off color and most of the time they are of depressed areas, old sunken buildings, things that once where but now have passed.
very dark stuff but i get out of it and the color spectrum comes back "and then i'm ok"(texas flood:album by SRV-11 track).
_brando_
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