thecanyon4me
by Brent_Ward

Comment:
This is stunning, Brent! You are definitely a master. There is no place on this planet that I love more than the Southwest and you have truly captured the beauty that makes this so! Congratulations!

natural beauty
by grigrigirl

Comment:
This is positively mesmerising! L*O*V*E it!!!!

Rite of Passage
by quark314

Comment:

Originally posted by hbunch7187: *Critique Club* I think this is an excellent idea and hits the challenge perfectly. The only real problem for me, is that it's just not a visually appealing photo. Technically, I think it's well done. Good focus and clarity. We get nice details in the words and we get to see the humor in the shot. Lighting is good, there are no horrible hot spots or distracting shadows. I think that's really important because of the words, if you get bad lighting, all the words would be unreadable and this shot wouldn't have as much humor value. I do think it's a bit crowded. I think one of the pencils and the other 1040 form on the right could be removed without hurting the photo. It just seems like too many items crammed into the photo and feels very set up. TOO set up. Of course, I'd have to actually SEE it without the pencil and paper to determine if it looks better that way, or if it then seems to be missing something, but definately it seems like it's too forced. Overall, it's technically good and a great idea, just lacking some visual punch. ~Heather~

Thanks for the critique, Heather. I appreciate the time you spent analyzing and commenting and I welcome all who are interested in providing useful, constructive (positive or negative) feedback, to comment on or provide an in-depth critique of any of my work, either openly or via PM.

It's a given that a good photograph speaks for itself with little or no additional "explanation" necessary. However, by way of going a little deeper than the immediate, superficial layer of understanding, I submit the following thoughts for the viewers' consideration (quoting, in part, from the critique, above):

I do think it's a bit crowded.
It's crowded to reflect the "crowded', busy life of an adult.

I think one of the pencils and the other 1040 form on the right could be removed without hurting the photo. It just seems like too many items crammed into the photo...
There are two pencils because one is broken (as a result of stress and tension - the guy's on tranqulizers for a reason! LOL! BTW, the presription label is totally home made & put onto an allergy pill vial). It's not at all uncommon to have a spare pencil handy. If one looks closely, they see that the "other 1040" is actually the sample sheet (part of the instructions). The instructions are included because they are frequently more of a source of anxiety and irritation than a help. As for "too many items crammed in...", there are plenty of people who have to literally clear off just the corner of a table or desk to make room to perform a task like writing a letter or filling out a form because their kids or spouse have the rest of the space occupied with their own "projects".

Of course, I'd have to actually SEE it without the pencil and paper to determine if it looks better that way, or if it then seems to be missing something, but definately it seems like it's too forced.
Overall, it's technically good and a great idea, just lacking some visual punch.
I did see it without these elements (pencil & paper) in several of the out-takes leading up to the final version. It did not convey the sense of crowding that I was after (and thankfully, achieved). I made the lighting as flat and "boring" as I could - while, at the same time, trying to hold detail - again in reference to the boring, routine nature of so many aspects of adult life.

Thank you (and everyone else), again, for your comments. I wish everyone at DPC a happy, healthy, prosperous New Year! God Bless!

Moonlight Serenade
by patrinus

Comment:

Originally posted by chaimelle: I guess the results will stand, but I am very disappointed to learn that the shot was not taken between 4 and 5 AM. Kind of seems like cheating to me.

This may alienate some fellow DPC-ers but so be it.

All those who complain so loudly about the "time" aspect of your photograph overlook an immensely important fact: Nowhere in the description of the challenge is a time zone specified. So 4am or 5am in one place is some other time somewhere else. It's all relative and really doesn't matter one bit. You made a BEAUTIFUL image by creating a great illusion - pretty much what photography (other than the strictest scientific or forensic kind) is all about, wouldn't you say??

Buen trabajo, Patrinus!

Photo-graph
by soccerdad

Comment:
Superb! :)

Plastic Surgery
by barndog

Comment:
Looks more like "plastic torture" BUT GREAT idea & execution! 8

"Blue ribbon?" "I'm a frayed knot."
by CEJ

Comment:
LOL!!!

Rite of Passage
by quark314

Comment:

Originally posted by blindjustice: The IRs gets mad when you fill it out in pencil; Lacks some duende/ perhaps a less cluttered shot would improve the compostiion.

That's OK - I get mad at the IRS for myriad reasons (none of them involving pencils, per se (pencil necks, maybe - but that's another story ;) )

Here's some duende for ya - "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers". - (W. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Act IV, Scene II)

Lastly, yer band needs more cowbell! :))

Just funnin' ya! :))

Finite
by hdogg4u

Comment:
Red border line is too thick. Maybe crop a bit more off the botom (& add it to the top).

Quick dinner
by nicklevy

Comment:
Yeah, a little extra fiber is good for ya! ;)
Maybe bring the candle a bit more into the frame. Cool idea!