Red Bull Gives You Wings......(figuratively)
by rugman1969

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club!

I like the exposure on the can but the "wings" are a little hard to interpret as what you intended. I agree with the comment Art left...the wings need to be more convincing, more obvious. Having a realistic sky behind the can would help give the sensation of flight much better than the black void represented here. Perhaps rotating the can so that it somehow resembled the back and belly of a bird (or anything else that is generally airborne) and tilting it further within the frame would provide a bit of energy to the image?

The technicals seem fine. The lighting on the surface of the can is well handled and play of tone and color in that portion of the image is by far the most interesting thing. I think, however, that the lighting on the wings (the purported subject of the challenge?) is flat...it would be more dramatic if the wings were made of a similar material to the can...or something entirely different, like fur or feathers.

Overall, this strikes me as an image made only for the challenge. It has little to offer outside of that context. I'm only vaguely familiar with the product, so reading the can becomes a necessity for figuring out the reason for the image. It's noble to think outside the box...but I also think that trying to figure out the DPC voters will do little to advance your art.

Keep shooting!

Child Within
by LanndonKane

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club!

The idea is clever. I like the use of selective desaturation. Because of the title and the feminine nature of the wings the manly clothes seem out of place. If not for the title I wouldn't have that impression. I first interpreted this as a child hiding within her father's closet. (I see you have a similar comment to this.)

The technicals seem okay. I don't much care for the large hole created by the dark shirt in the middle of the frame...blank spaces like this (whether black or white) can suck the energy out of an image and make it feel improperly exposed.

The composition could be a little cleaner. I feel the tilt of the bar within the frame gives an off-kilter feel to the image that seemingly has no purpose in regards to subject interpretation.

With so much butterfly showing I kinda expect to find a child attached to those wings. Maybe less of the wings showing would carry the concept of "hiding" further?

Overall, a refreshingly different idea for the challenge.

Keep shooting!

On The Courts
by Angadeon

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club!

A simple action shot of two casual basketball players in an urban setting. For a landscape challenge this is an out of the box entry. I think I can see where you were going with the idea--including activity against a backdrop of buildings. But I have to agree with the voters that the landscape isn't strong enough for the challenge. The subject here is really the players.

This is a fair stop-action image that a little more air-time would have helped. The technical quality of the image is lacking, as many of your commentors noted. The focus is a bit soft, the sharpness, contrast and saturation are a bit ho-hum. I can appreciate that this is your first attempt at RAW and so, perhaps, you are still finding your way with the post processing.

My main criticism is the composition. The background is very busy...there are two nets, signs to read, stray shadows and a bush intruding on the composition. There are also mergers that distract the eye--the pole behind the players and again the pole and the net. The fact that these mergers are similar and echo one another multiplies the effect. Someone at DPC once suggested that a good way to make an image was to find an interesting background and wait for something to happen in front of it. I think that sort of planning would have helped you pull off this subject a bit better.

Overall this is a subject worth revisiting with a new perspective on what you're trying to shoot.

Hopper
by thundercatcher2003

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club

Macros of insects are fun to look at and a challenge to make well. What I like most about macros is the way they give me leisure to study the details of small creatures. I like the textures in their bodies and wings. So, to me, it's important that those details are crisp and the whole image is enjoyable to view for a period of time.

Here I have to agree with comments about the overexposure. A quick look at this image's histogram proves the point. Enhancing the darker tones would help to bring out the details.

I also find this a little too yellow. It may be that the leaf was close to that color but it's just not appealing. A little desaturation on the green and yellow hues would make this easier to spend time with. It would help enhance the reddish tones present in the grasshopper's eyes and wings.

The composition is okay. I'd prefer to see a bit more of the hopper's body but that's just my personal preference. In general I like the subject's placement within the frame.

The factor I think holds this image back the most, however, is the lack of focus on the eye. Perhaps that could be fixed in post-process...but I doubt it. It's really important to get the eyes of animals and humans tack sharp when shooting. It's just human nature to look at the eyes first and repeatedly as the viewer explores the image.

Overall, I think it's a nice grab shot. It's hard to impress DPC viewers with anything less than a near-perfect bug shot since there have been so many in challenges on the site. That may be true with other subjects as well...we're always looking for a little extra to surprise us.

Congratulations on making it through your first challenge without too many scars.
Keep shooting!

Rock Concert
by idnic

Comment:
That ROCKS!
...in many, many ways...
:)

The Return
by electrolost

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club!

Thank you for leaving such detailed comments on your image. I enjoyed the story of how you came to make this photo. I have read the comments left during the challenge as well as the discussion in the thread //www.dpchallenge.com/forum.php?action=read&FORUM_THREAD_ID=657696 you started.

Though I didn't vote in the challenge, this image is one of the few I happened to see while browsing the entries. My first reaction was, like many of those who commented, what is it? The title definitely helped me look for the subject. Because the head is blurred it took a little effort to discover the deer. I think some of your other versions are easier to interpret.
Such as this one, for example.

Once the subject was discovered I wondered what you were trying to say. It is about death and decay. It's an unusual find. It reminds me of those French cave paintings in its pose and earthy tones but doesn't quite have the same graphic qualities (those are more apparent in the high-contrast version). Nonetheless, I'm seeing something new to me. I've seen plenty of road-kill, mostly bloated does with their tongues sticking out beside the road. Here a younger deer relatively uneaten by scavengers with clearly recognizable hoofs and head.

I like the sepia toning. I think it does what you intended emphasizing the relation of animal and earth. But I don't think the blur effect works toward helping the viewer understand the subject better. The composition feels off to me. I would like to see the rest of the front leg and perhaps a slightly different angle on the subject. Perhaps if the image had been taken a step to the right the head would be better defined and the focus would not be on the rise of the belly where my attention is continuously drawn because that's where the contrast and sharpness are placed.

The story you tell about the deer is probably more compelling than the image. In this type of forum (i.e. DPC challenges) the image must do the work alone with perhaps a little help from the title. When you combined the word story and the image the statement grew stronger. I can now imagine the horror of discovery, the fear of ending up like the fawn, the tragic sense of your situation...but not from the photo alone.

Here is a famous poem that your story and image made me recall:

Traveling through the Dark
--William Stafford

Traveling through the dark I found a deer
dead on the edge of the Wilson River road.
It is usually best to roll them into the canyon:
that road is narrow; to swerve might make more dead.

By glow of the tail-light I stumbled back of the car
and stood by the heap, a doe, a recent killing;
she had stiffened already, almost cold.
I dragged her off; she was large in the belly.

My fingers touching her side brought me the reason--
her side was warm; her fawn lay there waiting,
alive, still, never to be born.
Beside that mountain road I hesitated.

The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights;
under the hood purred the steady engine,
I stood in the glare of the warm exhaust turning red;
around our group I could hear the wilderness listen.

I thought hard for us all--my only swerving--,
then pushed her over the edge into the river.

I hope you don't mind this unusual "critique" of your image. I believe that no subject should be "off-limits" in poetry or art but the artist doesn't always know what they're saying until it is received by the listener. I hope you'll keep pushing the limits and create more provocative work. Keep shooting!

edit for the inevitable typo

Message edited by author 2007-08-14 09:26:47.

Summer Relaxing
by izadoodle

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club! Per your request I am offering and "in-depth comment" on your entry...I hope you find it helpful.

What a fun and cute portrait of a young boy! One that would be admired in a family album or the senior year book a decade from now.

I see many good technical choices in this image. Shooting in open shade evens out the light and avoids odd shadows. It also provides pretty highlights in the eyes. The composition is simple and effective. Placing the subject off center adds a bit of interest and enhances the whimsy in the subject. I'm not a huge fan of grass as a background but it works here. I like the contrast of the grass with the red shirt--the complementary colors give the image energy and are pleasing to look at. Also, because the boy is a fair-skinned blond, the choice of strong colors contrasts nicely with his natural tones and helps frame him.

Looking at your exposure info, I think you could have risked bumping up the ISO and increased your shutter speed to make your job easier. I personally feel that Canons handle ISO 400 quite well and without much noise. A little selective sharpening on the eyes in post-processing might make them really stand out as the light-catchers they are. Otherwise the technical choices made really brought out the subtle textures in the hair and surroundings.

I think what holds this image back is the boy's expression. He has that "Say Cheese!" look on his face...a little strained and unnatural for an artistic image. There's no real reason for the expression than the pose...a slightly more relaxed face perhaps would have "sold" this to the viewers.

Overall, a technically well-done image that lacks that something extra to really communicate with the outsider. Nonetheless, he looks like a fun model to work with. I hope you have many more opportunities to take his image! Keep shooting and have fun!

Iwo Jima Memorial
by allizoe

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club! Per your request I am offering and "in-depth comment" on your entry...I hope you find it helpful. Also, welcome to DPC and congratulations on entering your first challenge. (The first challenge is often the most difficult.)

The subject you chose to represent "triumph" fits the challenge fairly well. However, I agree with some of the comments you received that it is mostly a representation of someone else's idea--in this case, the sculptor and the photographer on whose work the sculpture was based. It's good to try to bring your own interpretation to the subject, even if it has as its subject a sculpture (or other piece of artwork). Viewers want to see your own interpretation of it, something new. A few other mentioned including fireworks or a sunset...including unique elements like those can make your photo stand out.

Technically the photo has some common problems that hurt its reception by the voters. The shadows are so black that much of the detail has been lost and the light on the flag so harsh that it has also lost detail and contrast. It looks like you took the image in full noon sun when getting a good exposure is difficult. Cloudy days and morning or evening light are generally more successful times to take images like this one.

The composition lacks some strength. Including tree branches as you have done here can add framing and scale to an image...but because they only peek in from one side in this image it does not work so well. Here it looks like they mistakenly intruded into the frame. Having some to the other side would provide balance and indicate that their inclusion was intentional. Finding a different angle to take the image could help. Getting in closer to the subject and only taking a portion of the sculpture might make a stronger composition, too, showing us what you found really compelling about the subject and simplifying the presentation so the viewer knows where to place attention.

Overall, you met the challenge in a sort of scavenger-hunt way. I think you'll find that to really succeed in a DPC challenge you need to bring a bit more of yourself to the image...go a little beyond the "hey look what I found" and more toward showing us how you feel about the thing you found.

Good luck! Keep shooting!

REPORT VIOLATERS
by Art Roflmao

Comment:
What exactly do you have against viola players?! I mean, really!!!

;)

Afternoon Stroll
by HawesPhotoKC

Comment:
Greetings from the Critique Club!

I like the setting! It's colorful and dramatic. Someone has said before that one way to make an interesting photo is to find a great background and wait for something to happen in front of it...this is one of those backgrounds.

However, I have to agree with 2/3rds of your commentators that the couple gets lost in the image. It's hard to see their reaction or relationship to the setting. They appear barefoot and I strain to determine that. Their faces are turned toward the graffitied wall...so I can't really get what they might be thinking about it.

I think this might do better in a larger format. But, for a DPC challenge entry, it's got to suffer for its size. Maximize the size available by using all 640 pixels width (you've got only 620 here). Limit the size of your border to maybe 3-5 pixels max so that there's more room for the image but still some definition from the gray background...and only when you really need a frame to contain your image. Crop as much as you can to make sure the subject is most prominent, too. But, in the end, you need to know that panoramic-type images just don't show off well within the constraints of the challenges at DPC. I think, too, that this could benefit from some sharpening before you save for web...it would heighten contrast and really bring out those transitions at the boundaries of black.

Looking at some of your other entries, you have a great eye for photography. This just isn't your strongest entry. Keep shooting! Keep entering! ...and good luck!