Homemade BREAD!by
OneSweetSinComment by Koriyama: *critique club*
(Just before I begin, my wife wants to say that, on seeing this photograph, she immediately felt the urge to eat it.)
Overall
The challenge was to capture a scene that reminds us of the countryside. Freshly-made bread set against a foliage background certainly works within this theme. I wonder about the flowers being necessary as they run contrary to the theme. The red, checked tablecloth and knife belong here, though.
Composition
Besides the flowers, I feel that the indistinctness of the drink object detracts from the composition, as does the knife angle. Overall, the whole scene would look better without the drink and the flowers, leaving a far-less cluttered effect and a more powerfully focus on the actual subject. Bread doesn̢۪t really mean countryside; it only suggests old-fashioned, itself reminiscent of the countryside. The choice of a plastic bread board, a symbol of modern life, therefore, might be questioned. A wooden board would fit better; the wood colour and texture complementing that of the bread.
Compositionally, the colour contrast of the red triangular foreground and the green backdrop is effective, but could be more so if the actual lines were more clearly demarked by removing the foliage (and the unnecessary elements) from the table. The bread board could then be positioned to support the overall colour scheme. Also, the bread would stand out more, fixing the theme solidly. I feel that the green is a little dark. The brightness of the tablecloth asks for a similarly bright green.
Consequently, the green being brighter would also help reduce the effects of the bright spots created by the leaves.
Technical
The exposure on the bread crust is just right, at a shutter speed that reinforced the white sections of the tablecloth. However, the speed was too fast for the drink, the darker foliage and the left side of the vase. I understand that if you had exposed for the white of the bread, even more of the shot would have been underexposed. In times like this, you have 2 choices pre-shooting, 1 post-shooting: use a neutral density filter, choose a narrower aperture, or play around with the curves in Dimage Viewer. Actually, I think that a narrower aperture would have helped the green colour balance by introducing an extra in-focus and brighter background layer.
Comments
Generally, I find this image a touch bland, its subject weakened by the clutter around it and the static nature of the objects. Maybe actually including your boy showing his eagerness to eat the bread would lighten the scene, but that̢۪s a different shot altogether. I̢۪m having trouble finding the purpose here. If this shot were for a magazine, the clutter would have to be removed as less means more in such shots. If you were simply trying to capture a moment from a countryside life, the objects wouldn̢۪t be so deliberately placed on the table. For example, the drink would be difficult to use at present, and it̢۪s unlikely that flowers would be directly over the drink leading to the possibility of petals falling in.
I’m afraid that my comments are mainly negative. A lot of that has to do with personal taste. I’m sure others will enjoy your image, but, for me, I don’t have any ‘still life’s on my wall.
Best wishes,
Jim
Photographer found comment helpful.
