|Hi Lorie, welcome to the other side of the Critique Fence! i have a tendency to speak my mind, so I just hope there is something useful in here for you.
My initial take on this is that it is small, slightly red in hue, and a little blown out. Given that the average voter spends about five seconds looking at each shot, it needs to have a more positive initial impact.
Technically: It's nice and sharp, and you have a fine depth of field without going overboard with a really small aperture, so that's all fine. The problem you have (incidentally the same problem I had in 'bridges') is light, and basic editing. There are some very bright, almost blown areas, and some very dark areas. The eye is drawn to the light and your (theme) subjects are in the dark. The result is the kind of comment you have below.
Artistically: This is completely subjective, so take what you will! I am not a fan of the crop - it squeezes my vision vertically and feels slightly uncomfortable. In addition to that, your subjects are both right at the edges, so you can't get a feel for them at the same time. There is also no real 'story' here - the horses don't look close as if they are meeting or some such, it's all very geometric. The slight red hue to everything also makes your subjects blend in to the reddish fence. When there isn't a lot of colour contrast, I am often tempted to try converting to BW, and making it about contrast rather than colour.
PP: This could be sharper - I always do a little sharpening after the re-size (radius 0.5px, 70-80% max) to bring back the edge. You definitely need to fix the colours, either in RAW conversion or hue/sat (have you played with the hue bit in individual colour spaces? It is an eye-opener) - or go B&W. As for sorting the bright/dark problem, I haven't tried it yet but I suspect that Topaz Adjust will help - they do a free 30 day trial...