I like the addition of the pink eye shadow in this emulation. The soft shade of color is wonderful but I think the details of the eye & eye color is greatly lost in this composition. We cannot see the details of the iris or portions of the inner eye which is one aspect of the original that is visually appealing. The only thing that I can think of that may bring out the details of the iris in the shot is to try the same settings as Unneva did such as Aperture of 4.5, ISO of 200, and Shutter speed of 1/50. DOF and details increase with each F-stop, 8 and above being the best to bring out fine details Generally the smaller the aperture opening and a slow shutter speed should be able to get you some great eye details.
Perhaps a little less eye makeup next time would be more effective. I think the strong point of the original was the clarity of the iris. It just isn't here.