Initial Reaction
Interesting, tres interesting. I like.
Technicals
I think we need some more contrast here, things seem stuck in the middle tonal range. It also feels like the white balance isn't quite on, perhaps a tad too yellow. A pass of SS (or USM of
Aesthetics
I _love_ the use of shapes. We have a straight pencil, skewed to it (excellently so) are straight lines of the paper, then we have curves of the shavings, but not only that the wonderful ridges all of us not-using-pencils-for-decades people forgot all about. Add the bits o' lead and we're talking excellent elements.
--- Intermission ---
So I'm down at Canyon Falls today photographing the falls (huh). I'm down in the unused by-the-water-suck-place-to-get; as I'm getting ready to haul my fat @$$ back up the side of the cliff a guy carrying a bag plops on down in front of me. Yadda yadda yadda he pulls out a homemade pinhole camera! So I documented his pinhole documentation of the falls ... yadda yadda yadda I tell him watching him makes me feel like I'm cheating with the digital. His respone, "Naaaa, it's all photography".
--- End Intermission ---
Composition
I think we're 90% there and a slight adjustment would send this over the top, for me eyeflow isn't making use of the elements. I think if the pencil were left-shifted a bit and the main bit of shavings were right-shifted a tad we'd have great leading lines. Orienting the shavings so the curling nature leads us back to the pencil (which then takes us through the image again) would be icing on the cake. Movement amounts: the pencil tip one line (give or take), the shaving about two lines (give or take).
Bottom line
A couple of minor changes would make this a zip-dinger, overall I like it :) |