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Photograph Information Photographer's Comments
Challenge: Portrait with Closed Eyes (Advanced Editing VII)
Collection: Portfolio
Camera: Canon EOS-6D
Lens: Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM
Location: Swimming pool
Date: Jul 8, 2015
Aperture: 4.0
ISO: 100
Shutter: 1/320
Date Uploaded: Jul 8, 2015

My goal this year is to improve how doing composition that gives an emotion, a history, a little wow. For this challenge, I have tried to give you an emotion such as peace, calm

Hoping that I meet my objective. Your vote will tell me

Statistics
Place: 114 out of 143
Avg (all users): 4.9515
Avg (commenters): 5.0000
Avg (participants): 4.9474
Avg (non-participants): 4.9630
Views since voting: 101
Views during voting: 170
Votes: 103
Comments: 3
Favorites: 0


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AuthorThread
07/20/2015 01:01:37 PM
*Hello from Sid and the Critique Club*

First impressions, full marks for an original approach that meets the challenge well.

I'm all for originality and I fully respect your attempt to produce an original image with impact but I have to say that it doesn't work for me, the image leaves me feeling a little uneasy. I think that simply having the profile of an isolated head completely disembodied like this is so unnatural that it just feels really awkward and difficult to come to terms with.

This composition just doesn't work, I need to see at least some of the persons body too, if its going to have any chance to work at all I think the head should be in the right third. A better composition would have been to take the image from the head so that we could easily see the closed eyes but with part or all of the rest of her body in soft focus in the rest of the frame.

Has it achieved your objective of peace and calm? Well I suppose it has but it is unfortunately dominated by the awkwardness of the concept and composition as detailed above.

If the lighting had been able to make the face stand out more from the water that might have helped. If the hair was wet with drops on her face perhaps that too may have helped a little but your original concept remains flawed for me anyway, sorry. Sid
  Photographer found comment helpful.
 Comments Made During the Challenge
07/13/2015 11:31:47 PM
Interesting idea, however it feels awkward to me. Perhaps it is the placement/composition, perhaps I would like to see more of the body rather than simply a floating head.
  Photographer found comment helpful.
07/13/2015 11:12:27 PM
Water looks good. Consider dodging/lightening her face to draw attention to it.
  Photographer found comment helpful.


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