This is a great idea. Getting it sharp would have helped a lot. I think converting it to B&W would be nice, too, but the lack of sharpness is the biggest problem.
I really like the framing of this. Sadly I think different processing would make it more poignant, as it's an interesting moment, but I find it presented a bit flat. Perhaps that's all it needs or deserves and this is the DPC goggles talking, but it seems wanting.
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