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05/30/2004 12:03:37 PM · #1 |
Last night in a fit of impulsivity I left a very inappropriate message on one of the boards. It was truly unforgiveable of me to overlook the feelings of others (I include all the innocents involved). I've made a promise to myself to only post the most neutral types of messages on boards when it is late at night and my ADHD meds have long worn off but last night I ignored that promise and let my emotions get the better of me.
I am not a mean person and was horrified when I realized my rash behaviour had upset so many people. Unfortunately, impuslivity is not a new thing for me so I felt tremendously bad last night that I let it potentially ruin something I really like. I really want to continue on this forum so I hope you all will give me a second chance and believe me when I say I'm not a jerk even though my actions last night speak otherwise.
If you haven't read the post in mention, please don't go looking for it out of curiosity. In fact, I hope the SC members have locked it by now.
Sincerely,
Melissa P.
Message edited by author 2004-05-30 12:04:21.
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05/30/2004 12:36:51 PM · #2 |
Yea I know how you feel. People are too fragile in this forum. Only nice comments go here. I've been in your boat a few times, when I offended everyone with my honest, not nice opinions, and from how everyone reacted I ended up apologising too. I hope it helps you to know you are not alone :) Anyways for the future, keep in mind that on this site atleast all shots are excellent, none of them are idiotic, or how I called them when everyone felt insulted "childish".
Cheers! |
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05/30/2004 12:37:32 PM · #3 |
a fresh new start sounds great to me!
Welcome back Melissa!
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05/30/2004 12:54:31 PM · #4 |
I wish you the very best in the future. I think its okay to vent, but dont compare photos. Thats poor etiquette.
Apology exceped here. |
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05/30/2004 01:01:39 PM · #5 |
I think it's all in your tone, attitude and how you say something. Always keep in mind other people's feelings, but there is a fine line when you're "dis"ing other people's work. I have crossed that line myself and have gotten slack for it, but you know what?, you're only human. Without mistakes we don't learn...whether it be in photograhy or human relations. I think that maybe the next time you feel emotionally upset over something here take a step back and take a deep breath and start thinking with your head and ask yourself if someone else would feel good, or have something to gain from your rant.
Personally, I don't care all that much for the outcome of my photographs in contests. It would be nice to have some validation with a ribbon, but it would be deceiving as I have a long way to go in my photography, and so I'm just looking at the general trend of my scores and the comments I receive. Also, to see how and why other people's shots scored so well, and to become more discriminating in my judgements of what good photography means.
glad you're not leaving. |
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05/30/2004 01:10:12 PM · #6 |
Thanks for the support. Sometimes people need to hear things put bluntly. In this case, I definitely stepped over the line and I regret that my hot-headedness caused strife, not just for the flak I received (I deserved it) but for the hurt I caused others.
I've apologized directly through PMs to the individuals involved. I don't mind eating a little crow now and then. :-D
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05/30/2004 01:12:22 PM · #7 |
Whoops, kind of wish my smart-ass signature wasn't showing in my last couple of posts. :-D
Here's another I like that shows my less cynical side:
Do something pretty while you can... -- from the song "We Rule the School" by the Scottish band, Belle and Sebastian.
Edited to correct typo...
Message edited by author 2004-05-30 16:27:08.
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05/30/2004 01:55:27 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by frumoaznicul:
Yea I know how you feel. People are too fragile in this forum. Only nice comments go here. I've been in your boat a few times, when I offended everyone with my honest, not nice opinions, and from how everyone reacted I ended up apologising too. I hope it helps you to know you are not alone :) Anyways for the future, keep in mind that on this site atleast all shots are excellent, none of them are idiotic, or how I called them when everyone felt insulted "childish".
Cheers! |
You can still be honest while being civil and polite. Encouraging while critical. Not every shot here is excellent but good shots dont need to be elevated by putting down others. Pompous, demeaning, and insulting comments serve no purpose than to hurt feelings and potentially destroy photographers from wanting to continue their hobby. In the end personal and highly emotional attacks just make any good criticism you may give have zero value.
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05/30/2004 02:12:55 PM · #9 |
Ok, I admitted that I missplaced some words, also due to my bad english, I explained it and sincerely apologised for it, but I gave alot of arguments too, and alow me to argue with you on only one thought. Good critics is never civil and polite. Atleast where I come from. The fact that I critiqued only one picture of one photographer, that doesn't mean that photographer can't still be a briliant photographer in my eyes. I give you one example happened to me today, after I sent a link to one of my menthors, a professional photographer artist, one who sells art photography for living and not comercial photography from who I learned alot. I met him today and in the middle of the street he started yelling at me, and saying well he liked most my shots, some are really great but he specificaly disliked one and said he doesn't ever whant to see me doing that kind of crap again, that it is monumentaly stupid, the most childish clichee he can imagine. He did not make it nice, nor polite, but I took it like a man, came home looked at that shot again and realised he had a good point.
Ok I learned my lesson, I know now I should be more gentle here, to me a criticism as long as it's objective and has a point, it is constructive, I see now people are more fragile here. Again I sencirely apologise too, and atleast I learned a lesson. 2 actualy. 1 to be more carefuly picking my words here, and 2'nd that tis site is in general, hmm... how do I say this politely, too far away from art photography for my personal taste?
Message edited by author 2004-05-30 14:14:38. |
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05/30/2004 02:14:32 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by frumoaznicul:
Yea I know how you feel. People are too fragile in this forum. Only nice comments go here. I've been in your boat a few times, when I offended everyone with my honest, not nice opinions, and from how everyone reacted I ended up apologising too. I hope it helps you to know you are not alone :) Anyways for the future, keep in mind that on this site atleast all shots are excellent, none of them are idiotic, or how I called them when everyone felt insulted "childish".
Cheers! |
I am sorry, but you are so wrong. Many people appreciate honest opinions. You don't have to say anything nice if you can't find anything nice. Not all pictures are great, many suck. You don't have to say it sucks (which does not help the person improving anyway) , but if you just say why you don't like it or what you think is wrong with it, it will be appreciated (or at least accepted). I am usually rather direct in my comments, and only once I got a PM of a person who could not handle it.
But to post a comparison like Melissa did was inappropriate. She recognised it now and we should accept her appologies and move on.
Willem
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05/30/2004 02:19:18 PM · #11 |
Problem with some people is they can dish it out but they can't stand it when people reply to them back with the same attitude.
Message edited by author 2004-05-30 14:22:17.
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05/30/2004 02:24:34 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by frumoaznicul:
Ok, I admitted that I missplaced some words, also due to my bad english, I explained it and sincerely apologised for it, but I gave alot of arguments too, and alow me to argue with you on only one thought. Good critics is never civil and polite. Atleast where I come from. The fact that I critiqued only one picture of one photographer, that doesn't mean that photographer can't still be a briliant photographer in my eyes. I give you one example happened to me today, after I sent a link to one of my menthors, a professional photographer artist, one who sells art photography for living and not comercial photography from who I learned alot. I met him today and in the middle of the street he started yelling at me, and saying well he liked most my shots, some are really great but he specificaly disliked one and said he doesn't ever whant to see me doing that kind of crap again, that it is monumentaly stupid, the most childish clichee he can imagine. He did not make it nice, nor polite, but I took it like a man, came home looked at that shot again and realised he had a good point.
Ok I learned my lesson, I know now I should be more gentle here, to me a criticism as long as it's objective and has a point, it is constructive, I see now people are more fragile here. Again I sencirely apologise too, and atleast I learned a lesson. 2 actualy. 1 to be more carefuly picking my words here, and 2'nd that tis site is in general, hmm... how do I say this politely, too far away from art photography for my personal taste? |
Message edited by author 2004-05-31 09:51:53. |
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05/30/2004 06:21:34 PM · #13 |
Personally, I think it's OK to vent and compare photos it's what we all do silently anyway. Many of us have done so when new to the site.
The truth of the matter is that it's easier to be honest to strangers! When you start getting to know people you don't want to hurt them - so we stay silent or start lying!!
; ) |
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05/30/2004 06:26:47 PM · #14 |
Some people are just interested in "attention"... What a waste of kilobytes...
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05/30/2004 06:41:57 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by terje:
Some people are just interested in "attention"... What a waste of kilobytes... |
I wonder if people really remember what a kilobyte is any more. It's kinda funny because some (to most) only measure things in MBs and GBs anymore. LOL!
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05/30/2004 06:51:10 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by Imagineer:
The truth of the matter is that it's easier to be honest to strangers! When you start getting to know people you don't want to hurt them - so we stay silent or start lying!!
; ) |
Good point, you know when I whas being "rude to everyone", quite a few people simpathysed with what I said, but only few of them had the guts to come out and say it in the thread, most prefered to send me encouraging PM's. :) I got like 20 Pm's that day. That's really odd, I really can't understand why if someone feels in a way can't come out and say it out loud. But seeing how oversensitive some are to an internet forum, I kinda start to understand. |
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