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03/27/2009 09:26:34 AM · #126 |
Originally posted by NikonJeb:
My one friend actually smiles and thanks me when I tell her she's SUCH a bitch!
She's a MASTER!!! LOL!!! |
Originally posted by SaraR:
Must be a cultural thing - I would find it incredibly insulting and demeaning, as would all the English women I know. |
It's quite specific within certain parameters.
Can you not amongst friends say things to each other than no one else can?
ETA: I am SPECIFICALLY treferring to things that would otherwise be considered insulting and demeaning.
Look, you cannot just use blanket terms like that when we've been talking about special circumstances.
We were talking about someone who got in trouble because he mentioned to someone at work that he loved her....I'm merely presenting something as an example from the other side of the coin that's as contextually bizarre.
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 09:29:28.
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03/27/2009 09:50:07 AM · #127 |
Originally posted by L2:
It sounds like you are ticked because you wanted someone to be suspended and they were not.
When determining whether to suspend someone for forum actions, we keep the following points in mind: whether the post in question was provoked by an inflammatory act, whether there is a history of prior forum altercations on either or all of the users in question, whether the current situation seems to be spilling into other forum threads or resulting in abusive PM's, and the exact nature of the post in question (ie. "how bad").
If, after your re-considered view of the situation keeping in mind the above points, you'd like a review of the situation by the entire SC you may request one by using the Contact Us link. |
L2, I appreciate you letting me know how you think it appears. That is totally missing the point of my post though. I simply used 2 very recent examples of me trying to "do the right thing" by reporting a post instead of continuing a heated debate with someone that had taken things to a personal level. My point was that in both cases, one of them handled by yourself, I asked very politely to please be informed of the result of my reporting the post in question. In both cases, one of them handled by yourself, the only thing that happened was the offending post was modified or hidden, and I was not contacted or in any way advised of any reasoning or explanation for no further action being taken. That lack of holding people accountable for taking things to a personal, name calling level is what is the main reason that people are making these "Grand Exits and Bad Feelings" posts. Then add on to that the frustration that people feel when they are left to wonder if their reporting a post did any good or whether any other action was taken.
When you talk about prior circumstance and situation being taken into account, I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I think it is good that you try and get a feel for the entire situation. Even more strongly though I think that a rule against personal attacks and name calling is there for a reason, and that when that line is crossed, something should be done about it. Consider that it should not matter how provocatively someone is dressed, they do not "deserve" to get raped. When a line is crossed it does not matter why.
Edited for crappy spelling!
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 09:53:31.
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03/27/2009 09:52:28 AM · #128 |
Originally posted by SaraR:
Originally posted by NikonJeb:
My one friend actually smiles and thanks me when I tell her she's SUCH a bitch!
She's a MASTER!!! LOL!!! |
Must be a cultural thing - I would find it incredibly insulting and demeaning, as would all the English women I know. |
Actually Sarah, even up here in the "politically correct, we never want to hurt anyone's feelings" country of Canada, I know of many ladies who very proudly refer to themselves as "bitches" and do not mind being called as such, as long as it is in the proper circumstance. One specifically states "make sure it is a capital B in Bitch, cause I earned it!".
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03/27/2009 10:56:32 AM · #129 |
Originally posted by basssman7:
In both cases, one of them handled by yourself, the only thing that happened was the offending post was modified or hidden, and I was not contacted or in any way advised of any reasoning or explanation for no further action being taken. That lack of holding people accountable for taking things to a personal, name calling level is what is the main reason that people are making these "Grand Exits and Bad Feelings" posts. Then add on to that the frustration that people feel when they are left to wonder if their reporting a post did any good or whether any other action was taken. |
Just because you don't SEE someone being held accountable does not mean that no action was taken. Sometimes it takes a little while to determine an appropriate response(s), and we'll simply hide the posts while we debate the issue. Note that personal attacks are handled on an individual basis, and privately. You won't necessarily be informed of how another user is handled even if you request it. The important thing is to stay calm and move on. Dwelling on an issue can make one more sensitive to even minor annoyances and more prone to overreacting. Where there are genuine concerns or violations, rest assured that they will be dealt with. |
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03/27/2009 11:37:57 AM · #130 |
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03/27/2009 12:26:33 PM · #131 |
it's quite possible the difference people sense is a result of the site growing. i mean that as - more users > more forum posts > broader topics > broader opinion base = more chance someone will take something the wrong way = more chance someone will disagree with a given topic/post and respond = more chance someone will get offended/pissed/cry in their soup :)
i've been a member since summer of 2003 - not too long after the site launched.
i'd be curious to see the stats on the number of members in february 2003 compared to february of this year. and also the average daily number of forum posts for the same time stamps.
personally i don't think the place has changed all that much.
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03/27/2009 12:32:30 PM · #132 |
Originally posted by basssman7:
Originally posted by SaraR:
Must be a cultural thing - I would find it incredibly insulting and demeaning, as would all the English women I know. |
Actually Sarah, even up here in the "politically correct, we never want to hurt anyone's feelings" country of Canada, I know of many ladies who very proudly refer to themselves as "bitches" and do not mind being called as such, as long as it is in the proper circumstance. One specifically states "make sure it is a capital B in Bitch, cause I earned it!". |
A cultural thing, or maybe a generational thing. To me, it will always be an ugly word, and therefore should be reserved as an insult, not as a way to describe women in general, or as a term of power. The idea of someone using it as a reference to any of the women in my life is offensive. |
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03/27/2009 12:38:39 PM · #133 |
Originally posted by SaraR:
Must be a cultural thing - I would find it incredibly insulting and demeaning, as would all the English women I know. |
Originally posted by basssman7:
Actually Sarah, even up here in the "politically correct, we never want to hurt anyone's feelings" country of Canada, I know of many ladies who very proudly refer to themselves as "bitches" and do not mind being called as such, as long as it is in the proper circumstance. One specifically states "make sure it is a capital B in Bitch, cause I earned it!". |
Originally posted by citymars:
A cultural thing, or maybe a generational thing. To me, it will always be an ugly word, and therefore should be reserved as an insult, not as a way to describe women in general, or as a term of power. The idea of someone using it as a reference to any of the women in my life is offensive. |
Back to context and application, methinks.....you and I are exactly the same age.....8>)
ETA: And again, it isn't used, at least in my case, as a general term but within some pretty strict parameters.
I think it also has a lot to do with the intent of the discussion, too.
I have quite a few friends I can talk to in ways that I would never use in general conversation.
These are the same kind of people I would give my last dollar to, or get up in the middle of the night unquestioningly if they called me and needed my help, too.
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 12:41:49.
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03/27/2009 01:46:11 PM · #134 |
Originally posted by citymars:
Originally posted by basssman7:
Originally posted by SaraR:
Must be a cultural thing - I would find it incredibly insulting and demeaning, as would all the English women I know. |
Actually Sarah, even up here in the "politically correct, we never want to hurt anyone's feelings" country of Canada, I know of many ladies who very proudly refer to themselves as "bitches" and do not mind being called as such, as long as it is in the proper circumstance. One specifically states "make sure it is a capital B in Bitch, cause I earned it!". |
A cultural thing, or maybe a generational thing. To me, it will always be an ugly word, and therefore should be reserved as an insult, not as a way to describe women in general, or as a term of power. The idea of someone using it as a reference to any of the women in my life is offensive. |
Jeb is correct. It is situational. Obviously if someone used the term to describe my mother I would be on them very quickly. However I think the point that is being missed is that we are talking about a situational thing, and directly with female herself. :)
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03/27/2009 01:58:37 PM · #135 |
Originally posted by basssman7:
I did not ever state I was going to break the rules myself. I will not make personal attacks. I did say that I will take them to task for it, point out that they are breaking the rules, but without making a personal attack. |
FWIW, the only rule I was accusing you of intending to break is Forum Rule #10 -- to use the Report Post button if you think someone has violated rules 11 or 12. You basically stated that, you since are not satisfied with the SC's policing job, in the future you were intending to engage in vigilante justice instead.
Originally posted by The Forum Rules (emphasis added):
10. Do not publicly accuse other participants of rules violations. If you believe a rule has been broken, report the post and do not reply. |
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03/27/2009 02:06:09 PM · #136 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by basssman7:
I did not ever state I was going to break the rules myself. I will not make personal attacks. I did say that I will take them to task for it, point out that they are breaking the rules, but without making a personal attack. |
FWIW, the only rule I was accusing you of intending to break is Forum Rule #10 -- to use the Report Post button if you think someone has violated rules 11 or 12. You basically stated that, you since are not satisfied with the SC's policing job, in the future you were intending to engage in vigilante justice instead.
Originally posted by The Forum Rules (emphasis added):
10. Do not publicly accuse other participants of rules violations. If you believe a rule has been broken, report the post and do not reply. |
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Thank you for clarifying. :) I am trying that. I also did not mention any names in my examples. :)
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03/27/2009 02:09:56 PM · #137 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
the only rule I was accusing you of intending to break is Forum Rule #10:
10. Do not publicly accuse other participants of rules violations. |
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03/27/2009 02:13:03 PM · #138 |
Originally posted by basssman7:
Thank you for clarifying. :) I am trying that. I also did not mention any names in my examples. :) |
Yes, I noticed -- thanks. :-)
I always try to remember that, when someone calls me a nasty name, it says more about them as a person than it does me; if I get upset, I'm just validating the ability of the other person to judge character ... |
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03/27/2009 02:15:21 PM · #139 |
Originally posted by scalvert:
Originally posted by GeneralE:
the only rule I was accusing you of intending to break is Forum Rule #10:
10. Do not publicly accuse other participants of rules violations. |
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I observe you've not reported my post ... how many pages you think we can keep this loop going? |
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03/27/2009 02:17:35 PM · #140 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by scalvert:
Originally posted by GeneralE:
the only rule I was accusing you of intending to break is Forum Rule #10:
10. Do not publicly accuse other participants of rules violations. |
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I observe you've not reported my post ... how many pages you think we can keep this loop going? |
hehehehe
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03/27/2009 02:27:44 PM · #141 |
another thread gone bad :)
i picked up some medicine yesterday for one of our dogs ( ear cleaning medicine ). the back of the box - under the usage instructions - specifically states ' safe to use on lactating bitches '.
i promptly got offended and returned the medicine :)
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 14:29:03.
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03/27/2009 02:33:01 PM · #142 |
Originally posted by soup:
another thread gone bad :) |
Quaker gentleman, to some guy acting like a jerk: "I trust thy mother will reprimand thee, when thou returnest to thy kennel." |
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03/27/2009 03:12:37 PM · #143 |
yeah - guess i've gotten myself in trouble once again.
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03/27/2009 03:26:39 PM · #144 |
Originally posted by soup:
another thread gone bad :)
i picked up some medicine yesterday for one of our dogs ( ear cleaning medicine ). the back of the box - under the usage instructions - specifically states ' safe to use on lactating bitches '.
i promptly got offended and returned the medicine :) |
ROFLMSOAO!!!!!
Too funny!!!
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03/27/2009 03:40:47 PM · #145 |
Originally posted by zxaar:
Originally posted by posthumous:
I love you all. |
love is a strange word, and 'i love you' is strange phrase.
Its alright to say -
'i love cats'
'i love dogs'
'i love horses'
'i love ' anything is alright as long as this anything is animal. Try the same thing with humans and results may be nothing short of a disaster.
I found it out hard way. I told my coworker that i love her.
Now not only does she not talk to me, everyone in office thinks i am strange.
'gee you tell this to lady.'. Sometimes i wish if she were a bitch, then it would be alright to say 'i love this bitch'. And this would be alright. Sigh. |
NM.
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 15:56:42. |
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03/27/2009 04:10:48 PM · #146 |
well - i have mixed feelings about that.
on the one hand i am called a jerk for using the word in question properly - though, within the given conversation - somewhat out of context.
on the other i'm taken as being funny...
it is a true story - and the box does read ( paraphrased ) what i typed.
it's a word. some people take offense to ( apparently no matter how it's used ).
cock is a word. if i called you a cock - what would it mean ? it would mean what you make of it. my intention might have been calling you a rooster - i don't really like roosters. they are loud, and peck at you. i would call them peckers - but i might offend someone.
but, at the same time, you wouldn't know what my intentions were - because you've been offended.
something inside trains us to interpret things a certain way. or we've been trained to interpret things a certain way. trying to be 100% PC is pretty much impossible today. especially in a forum that has a global user base... so it doesn't surprise me at all that something said in light - will offend someone else. it doesn't mean the offended is a prude, or that the offender is an ass. ( oops ).
the problem is - in a forum situation - even though the specific comment might be aimed at a specific user. the comment is there for everyone to read, and make their own interpretations from. outside of having a set list of PC words that are acceptable to type in this forum - there is no getting around the fact someone might get offended aspect.
Originally posted by NikonJeb:
ROFLMSOAO!!!!!
Too funny!!! |
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 16:22:58.
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03/27/2009 04:23:47 PM · #147 |
Originally posted by soup:
or that the offender is an ass. ( oops ).
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Or even an arse ;¬P |
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03/27/2009 04:28:51 PM · #148 |
see that's like asshat -vs asshole.
i could say biatch - but you'd still know what i was reffering to. whether it was offensive or not is based on the interpretation of the viewer and the situation in which the word was used.
Originally posted by SaraR:
Or even an arse ;¬P |
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 16:29:11.
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03/27/2009 04:30:55 PM · #149 |
Originally posted by soup:
s
i could say biatch - but you'd still know what i was reffering to. w |
Actually, I wouldn't have a clue! |
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03/27/2009 04:38:04 PM · #150 |
well many would.
how about jesum-crow instead of jesus christ ?
yes / no ?
the alternate is a means for the speaker - for some moral or ethical reason - to make it ok to say. they aren't REALLY taking jesus' name in vain when they haven't actually said it...
so 'arse' can't be offensive. i mean i didn't call you an ass. i called you an arse...
ETA: watch some rap videos - you'll know what it means :)
Message edited by author 2009-03-27 16:42:13.
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