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05/02/2004 12:24:32 PM · #1 |
I love "ONION" :-)
Message edited by author 2004-05-18 00:06:59. |
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05/02/2004 01:07:42 PM · #2 |
That's typical Bush but where does "Onion" come into all of this? His statement brings tears to your eyes maybe? Or you need to cut an onion to help you cry?
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05/02/2004 01:15:38 PM · #3 |
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05/02/2004 01:15:46 PM · #4 |
For those who do not know, the Onion is a farcical online newspaper. Everything read there should be viewed as farce ( A light dramatic work in which highly improbable plot situations, exaggerated characters, and often slapstick elements are used for humorous effect ).
The Onion | America's Finest News Source
A farcical newspaper featuring world, national and community news.
//www.theonion.com
Ron |
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05/02/2004 01:21:26 PM · #5 |
Many years ago when I was in the Pub trade I had a delivery guy that always said "Onions" when he had finished delivering. After many months of putting up with this I asked him what he meant by saying "Onions" when he dropped off the last crate.
Well he said "Onions = That Shallot" 
(Thats your lot)
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05/17/2004 11:50:13 PM · #6 |
Halliburton Employee's Pay Docked For Weeks Spent As Hostage
BAGHDAD—Spokesmen for Halliburton International announced Monday that employee Thomas Hamill will not be paid for the three weeks he failed to fulfill his truck-driving duties while being held at gunpoint by Iraqi captors. "While we share your joy in regaining your freedom, we are forced to withhold your wages for the period of April 9 to May 2," read the official corporate reprimand, which reached Hamill in Germany as doctors treated his bullet wound. "A disciplinary slip noting your failure to report to work has been added to your employee file." Halliburton has not yet disclosed the amount Hamill is being charged for structural damage to the company truck he was shot in.
ONION VOLUME 40 ISSUE 1912 MAY 2004 |
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05/17/2004 11:51:51 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by pitsaman:
Halliburton Employee's Pay Docked For Weeks Spent As Hostage
BAGHDAD—Spokesmen for Halliburton International announced Monday that employee Thomas Hamill will not be paid for the three weeks he failed to fulfill his truck-driving duties while being held at gunpoint by Iraqi captors. "While we share your joy in regaining your freedom, we are forced to withhold your wages for the period of April 9 to May 2," read the official corporate reprimand, which reached Hamill in Germany as doctors treated his bullet wound. "A disciplinary slip noting your failure to report to work has been added to your employee file." Halliburton has not yet disclosed the amount Hamill is being charged for structural damage to the company truck he was shot in.
ONION VOLUME 40 ISSUE 1912 MAY 2004 |
Hell no, you've got to be kidding.
Message edited by author 2004-05-18 00:04:35. |
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05/18/2004 02:10:05 AM · #8 |
From (I think) Pete Seeger's arrangement:
...
One day a premature blast went off
And a mile in the air went Big Jim Goff
And drill, ye tarriers, drill and blast, and fire!
The next time payday came around
Jim Goff a dollar short was found
When asked "what for?" came this reply:
"You were docked for the time you were up in the sky"
And drill, ye tarriers, drill and blast, and fire! |
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05/18/2004 07:26:55 AM · #9 |
Originally posted by faidoi:
Hell no, you've got to be kidding. |
Yes, it's kidding.
To repeat, the Onion is an online web site for FARCE - stuff that is made up.
Ron |
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05/18/2004 09:10:47 AM · #10 |
| If you think The Onion is funny, wait until you read " Ironic Times" ! You'll split a gut. :) |
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05/18/2004 10:09:28 AM · #11 |
Onion:
Yummy.
Message edited by author 2004-05-18 10:09:44.
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05/18/2004 12:36:18 PM · #12 |
cook `em! |
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05/18/2004 12:47:14 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by gingerbaker:
If you think The Onion is funny, wait until you read " Ironic Times" ! You'll split a gut. :) |
You are right,LOL ,this is funny !
U. S. NEWS
Bush Job-Approval Rating
Sinks to All-Time Low
As his lead over Kerry widens.
Job Situation Improving
288,000 new damage control experts hired in April.
Army Times Calls for
Rumsfeld's Ouster
Pentagon dismisses newspaper as "propaganda arm of Al Qaeda."
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05/22/2004 03:24:16 PM · #14 |
| You might also want to check out bbspot.com where they specialize in tech and entertainment humor, as in this article on Living Wills. |
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10/02/2006 11:10:50 PM · #15 |
Senate Wins Fight To Lower Allowable Amperage Levels On Detainees' Testicles
September 29, 2006 | Issue 42â€Â˘40
WASHINGTON, DC—Led by a bipartisan group of senators critical of White House policy on suspected terrorists, the Senate passed a bill Thursday that prohibits interrogators from exceeding 100 amps per testicle when questioning detainees. "Even in times of war, it is counterproductive and wrong to employ certain inhumane interrogation techniques, and using three-digit amperage levels on the testicles of captives constitutes torture," said Sen. John Warner (R-VA), who has also supported reducing the size of attack dogs and the height of nude pyramids. "Using amperages of 99 and lower, with approved surge protectors on the jumper-cable clamps, are the hallmarks of a civilized society." The legislation did not address amperage restrictions on suspected terrorists' labia. |
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10/02/2006 11:14:15 PM · #16 |
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10/02/2006 11:21:15 PM · #17 |
| I have an acquaintance (friend of a friend) who is one of their movie reviewers. Pretty much take everything in the Onion tongue-in-cheek except their A/V section (Q&A interviews, music and movie reviews). Although humorous, those generally are not satirical. |
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