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12/12/2008 09:26:35 AM · #76 |
Originally posted by nickp37:
Less than 19 hours to go... I know you sick people can take it up a notch in the final stretch. No photos yet?!?! Only one funny song???? Lots of great jokes though... |
Here's one of my pictures that usually invokes a strong reaction from people...
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12/12/2008 09:33:47 AM · #77 |
How do West Virginians celebrate Halloween?
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They "Pump-kin" |
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12/12/2008 09:47:22 AM · #78 |
This is still one of my favorite shots, and one of my oldest, if only for the description I gave it at the time...
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12/12/2008 01:12:03 PM · #79 |
Oh yeah! Pictures!
Here I am applying my macro skills to the mundane world of the suburban back yard.
There's more on Flickr, but these are the prettiest! ;) |
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12/12/2008 01:34:01 PM · #80 |
WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS
This one is priceless.. Wrong email address. A lesson to be learned From typing the wrong email address!!!!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where
They spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.
So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room,
So he decided to send an email to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address , and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.
He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The w idow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the Floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I've seen that everything has been prepare d for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
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12/12/2008 01:35:21 PM · #81 |
Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South
Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe ?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seen nobody do it!'
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12/12/2008 01:48:13 PM · #82 |
The heat goes out during the winter at a Military base way up north It just so happens that there are visitors on base from all of the services during this time.
An Air Force General goes into the head to take his morning crap, sits on the toilet and exclaims, "Yow! That seat's freezing." A little while later, a Navy Commander comes in, sits down on the seat and cries out "Damn, that seat's cold!". After a bit, an Army Major comes in, sits his butt down and yelps, "Whoo-eee, this seat's damn cold!" Finally, a Marine Private comes in, sits down and says, "Damn, that water's cold." |
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12/12/2008 03:19:42 PM · #83 |
Lets try this,
Do you know why women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Why don't women need watches to wear?
There is a clock on the stove.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, It should be open when she brings it.
Why is it a waste of time to speak to a woman with 2 black eyes?
She has already been told twice. |
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12/13/2008 04:59:54 AM · #84 |
| Sorry, I fell asleep sooner than expected last night... The comp is now closed! I'll post a winner shortly. |
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12/13/2008 11:47:37 AM · #85 |
I was looking for a large crayon for photomom1981 and came across this, hahahhaa
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12/13/2008 02:19:21 PM · #86 |
That was a fun week! Feel free to keep this thread going!
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present the winners.
Taking the award for most prolific ....  Notroubles
And for best musical comedy ....  Chinabun
And what you've all been waiting for...
This weeks finalists, in no particular order, are:
 Patrick_R ... Kelli ... Notroubles and BeeCee
Prizes to be awarded this evening... to be continued...
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12/13/2008 02:23:48 PM · #87 |
removed by me...sorry
Message edited by author 2008-12-13 17:15:05. |
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12/13/2008 04:29:28 PM · #88 |
Originally posted by sabphoto:
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[ edit ]
Actually, that is likely not allowed on this site...
Message edited by author 2008-12-13 16:41:16. |
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12/13/2008 04:35:12 PM · #89 |
The winner is ...
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Patrick_R
Congrats!
As runners up Kelli, Notroubles and BeeCee will each recieve a $10 iTunes Gift Certificate! PM me your email address.
Patrick, you have a choice, either PM me your address so I can send your prize, or you can opt for an iTunes GC. Let me know!
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12/13/2008 04:37:24 PM · #90 |
Where's the ToC when you need 'em? That's a gross violation...
R.
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12/13/2008 04:53:26 PM · #91 |
Wooooooooo!
I finally won something on this site! lol |
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12/13/2008 05:17:41 PM · #92 |
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12/13/2008 09:27:07 PM · #93 |
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12/14/2008 10:23:30 AM · #94 |
| Thanks, Nick, I enjoyed this thread. Laughter is a wonderful thing! |
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12/15/2008 08:55:31 AM · #95 |
| iTunes GCs sent! Enjoy! I'll get to the PO this morning... |
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12/15/2008 07:09:51 PM · #96 |
I have to say that after reading this thread I am totally disgusted with a few of these supposed jokes. KD, Simms and Mousie I will never look at you the same way as I did before. With respect.
I know these are 'supposed jokes' but you all disgust me beyond belief.
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12/15/2008 08:08:26 PM · #97 |
If it helps, think of laughter as a coping mechanism for uncomfortable situations. Anyway, after reading the first post in this thread, I hope you didn't expect Lolcats or something. Although these jokes are often intentionally offensive, it would be a mistake to judge someones character based on anything posted in response to my original request. Singling others out in this context is simply not appropriate.
In short, if anything here offends you that much, please blame me. I take full responsibility for this thread. |
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12/15/2008 08:56:44 PM · #98 |
No kiddin' nick!
I heard my pedophile joke on public radio. It was on that liberal bastion of culture Fresh Air with Terry Gross! I kid you not!
There's no accounting for taste, apparently. I thought the joke was hysterically funny, myself... because it's so damn horrible! That's the frisson, right? The sympathy is for the pedo, and suddenly, you're complicit. Therein lies the twist, the unexpected juxtaposition at the heart of much great humor.
In fact, my joke is one of those jokes that's best told long. You keep layering on more and more scary detail about the situation, building up increasing listener anxiety for the child, but not around their chaperone. You drown out your early mention of a pedophile with spooky trees and crackling thunder until you've painted a picture so frightening that the threat of the sex offender pales in comparison, a mere footnote. You misdirect the listener away from the original premise (a child with a pedo) using a little linguistic sleight of hand, and then, once the time is ripe and the child itself acknowledges your efforts by mentioning their fears out loud, you slam it home by bringing the actuality of a child walking with a predator back to the fore, washing away the threat of the forest in a blink of an eye and leaving the listener stunned.
How silly of you for being lulled into worrying about the forest, for being led down that path, when your real fears are about what hasn't even been described.
It's really more of a magic trick than a joke, and works for the same reasons.
Then again, maybe it was the pictures of poop and I'm totally on the wrong track. :) |
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12/15/2008 08:57:55 PM · #99 |
| P.S. Thanks for taking responsibility nick, it's very noble of you. After all, you did ask for it, and all we did was provide it for you. :) |
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12/15/2008 10:20:46 PM · #100 |
| Well I personally enjoyed all the jokes in this thread and found it a refreshingly delightful and body tingling experience that I wish would happen more often not only here but everywhere. Except for the poop, poop is never funny... unless thrown at people, and only by monkeys, then it is very funny. |
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