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10/04/2008 10:27:51 PM · #1 |
I just shot an extremely unorganized wedding. For those of you who do weddings, what do you do in this type of circumstance - do you jump in and try to organize, just try to shoot what you can, give advice....?
We were supposed to start shooting photos around 4:00 for a 6:00 wedding and I didn't get to start the bride until about 5:45! No one knew about the flowers, the music, the order for the reception etc. At the rehearsal, they had no concept of spacing the bridesmaids and had the bride coming in before the last bridesmaid was even fully up front. (I did jump in at that point with my advice.)
The wedding was in a chapel of an senior living complex where the bride works as an aide. The wedding started 20 minutes late and the groom's mom wasn't even there until right at 6:00. The grooms mom wore a very low cut, open back slinky black dress.
AND...not their fault, but to add to the chaos, the bride and groom had a flat tire on the way to the reception.
Because of all of this, the couple were not affectionate at all with really very little interaction.
I'm sure many of you can relate! Do you feel that you let a bride and groom down a bit trying to piece together a good selection of photos from an event like this one? Obviously, I'm getting paid anyway - but I almost feel guilty for not having the number of photos I expected to have. Not because of technical problems, but because of lack of opportunity. Have you ever had a couple complain about your results after shooting such a wedding?
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10/04/2008 10:35:10 PM · #2 |
No, I've not had complaints but I've not had things go that awry. I had a DJ do a no-show, but of course they knew there was no dancing, no garter/boquet so no pics of it.
Had one last week where it started to POUR during the outdoor pics. There just won't be any.
I tell my brides that I'll watch the clock till the reception, then it's up to them. I like when things just happen as they're supposed to. I don't really like it all that much when they all look at me for direction, nor am I fond of a wedding coordinator or DJ that's on a power trip either.
I had a reception back in March where the couple had no clue. No plan for the event and it showed. They entered, sat at the head table for a minute then got up and scattered. I asked the groom 'what about a toast?' and he told me it's up the best man, go ask him. When will cut the cake, before or after the first dance? I got a blank stare for an answer. It was a mess.
Sometimes it just happens that way.
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10/04/2008 10:41:49 PM · #3 |
i shot one a few weeks that was a little like that. to top it off, they gave the wrong address for the chapel (4 times over the 3 months we'd been in contact) so i was a half hour late from the prep shoot, the bride started a miscarriage at the altar, and the groom's mum looked deeply unhappy with the whole thing. it was a bit of a nightmare, but we all survived. i've had no complaints at all, thankfully, and they seem happy with the shots. there were some i missed that i kick myself about, but they seem happy.
the disorganised thing - i just tell them what to do. probably being an ex-teacher helps, but if everyone is faffing horrendously, i just say, smiling broadly; 'ok, here's what we're going to do...' and then they'll usually do it happily. they don't want to have to think, and if you can tell them in an authoritative but friendly way, and what you say makes sense, they'll happily go along with it. one less thing for them to worry about. of course, it makes you work twice as hard.
remember, you're the expert, they hired you to get great shots. if bossing them about will help you get them, go for it. they'll thank you for it.
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10/04/2008 11:43:04 PM · #4 |
I had one of those, thankfully I brought an assistant (my daughter) and between us we gave orders and got all the photos done to everyones satisfaction. Yes, it was a bit stressful and unexpected but it all worked out in the end.
What I did was get a list of must have photos from the bride way in advance, had them all typed up and with us. My daughter checked things off as we got them done. When chaos ensued we broke out the list, got the bride to see what was missing and then got everyone organized to get the shots she wanted. Unfortunately the grandparents were really late and left early so we were unable to get their shots but the bride said it wasn't a problem at all.
That was my first and last wedding :D |
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10/05/2008 12:18:50 AM · #5 |
I think that, in the future, if I notice that the wedding planning is lacking - I will take the bride aside and ask her if she would like for me to speak up if I have any advice in making the day go more smoothly for the couple.
I actually love the planning part of things :) It was just so sad to see the bride get frustrated and tuned out on a day she should have been happy and loving. |
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10/05/2008 02:01:09 AM · #6 |
I have only shot a few weddings, and so far so good. They are family and friends though, and I only shoot one per year, gratis.
My brother used to shoot weddings and would shoot the event, then have the ceremony re-enacted to get the angles and lighting that would make good photos, and for backup, just in case something happened during the actual event. They liked it and paid well. His business became so loaded up that he doubled his prices and still had more than he could do. Most people didn't seem to mind repeating the scenes at all if asked in advance because they knew that they would get the shots that they had dreamed of.
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10/06/2008 12:10:40 PM · #7 |
if its a complete cluster like that I would definately take charge. This couple is going to remember/recommend or bash you based soley on the final results. ITs your job to get them good results regardless of how much a mess the festivities are in.
Pull them aside and tell them that no matter how they are feeling in regards to photos, once the wedding is over they will be happy they spent some time with you taking pictures.
Be assertive and a bit bossy. If they respond negatively and get angry at least you tried to put some order into the day.
In the last wedding, the venue owner showed up and tried to play wedding planner and boss everyone around and try to work on her timetable. She pulled the bride away from me once while we were doing photos. I found out she wasn't hired to be there, just sticking her nose into the ceremony. After the ceremony, I took the bride adn groom to a beach to do photos, she told me I had to be back in 30 minutes so they could announce the new couple. I politely told her to F off and that she already held up her end of the contract w/ the couple by renting the space and that by telling the people involved in the wedding where to be and when she was messing up my deal. I told her i would be done w/ the bride and groom when I got my pictures and that no one was going to introduce them until we got back. She didn't say a word to anyone in the bridal party the rest of the day.
Some people get very stressed at weddings, if you need to calmly and politely put someone in their place do it. You are a hired professional. Telling a bride that pictures were missed because there was no order will probably not go over well.
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10/06/2008 01:17:25 PM · #8 |
There's a fine line between telling other vendors to f'off (even nicely) and being on their good side for later referrals.
You NEVER know who is whose cousin or has a knife ready for your back. DJs are my biggest issue - many suck in one way or another and this year it's been worse than usual. If they can't keep the reception 'on time' then I either miss shots, have to charge extra or work for free. None of those three alternatives are appealing to me.
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10/06/2008 01:26:28 PM · #9 |
this person was NOT a vendor. She was the owner of the venue who decided to hang around and boss others around. I don't believe she would ever have a place to recommend me or not, but either way my job was to provide the bride and groom the best results and she was making it difficult.
ive never had any trouble with the other folks at weddings, once a band member decided I was teh guy he was going to complain to about doing the gig too cheap.
We charge by the day, so extra hours are not an issue for us.
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10/06/2008 01:28:51 PM · #10 |
Frankly, I don't see that it's my responsibility to be keeping track of the timeline of events on a wedding day, except during the formals. I'll want to know how much time we have between the ceremony and reception for pictures, and I'll make every effort to help the bride and groom stick to that as best as possible, but people are almost always late getting to the reception for one reason or another. Oftentimes they don't account for how long they're going to take in a receiving line, etc.
I ask couples to prepare a specific list of photos they want to have taken for formals so we can move along with as much organization as possible. If it works out, great, if not... I've made every effort on my part to be sure that I'm moving things along to the best of my ability.
At the reception, I have no expectation that they'll keep whatever schedule they may have decided upon. I'm there to document things as they happen, whenever they happen. When someone books a wedding with me, I'm theirs for the day. I'll generally stay until the last traditional event of the night -- like the garter/bouquet. And if they have more stuff that they'd like, that's fine. I also keep in good communication with the DJ so I have some idea as to when he/she has things coming up.
Rule #1 of wedding photography for me is: it is the bride and groom's day, not mine. I'm there to help document their day, and I'm certainly not going to impede them from having a memorable one, and I'm not going to be the one to impose stress and timelines on them.
Message edited by author 2008-10-06 13:30:57. |
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10/06/2008 01:36:30 PM · #11 |
Um...I shot a surprise wedding. Which so happened to be my first wedding. None of the guests knew the couple was getting married. The rehersal was an hour before the wedding....which consisted of, "we are going to do it on lawn and let everyone gather around." I asked to keep a lane open so i can shoot the couple with out anyone in front....and guess who stand right in the aisle...the Dad whom i asked to keep it open. The Brother in law ran to go get is video camera and stood right over the preacher and was in half the shots until i finally got his attention and told him to move.
The couple was dressed in normal clothes for a baby shower, so no one would suspect anything. I wanted to be notified when the bride snuck away to get dressed....no such luck. I got two pictures of the bride in her dress before the ceremony. Since it was a surprise wedding, the background was all clustered and everyone was in the way of everything. I tried to get photos of the couple alone after the wedding and no one would leave them alone and since it was in someones backyard there was no real place to do it anyways.
The preacher had his bluetooth in his ear and forgot the bible to read the lines so he "winged it." I wasn't told that i was also the best man (and only groomsmen) until a little before the wedding started...kind of hard to get photos of the best man and maid of honor if the best man is also the cameraman. I had no list of who should be in photos or what family members to have together. OH and just to add an extra obstacle...there was a huge pool in the middle of the backyard that i had to work around.
So basically...I just shot what i could. |
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10/06/2008 01:44:43 PM · #12 |
I just did a wedding on Saturday that was a bit disorganized (ceremony). I stepped in and gave them a quick lesson in walking up the aisle. I placed the bridal party in their places and told them what to look for to start walking. I told them to look to their counter-part for feet placement. I told them how to stand when up at the alter. I told the bride not to focus on anything but her husband to be - to look into his eyes and smile!
As the photographer, I direct the show. When a wedding starts late, you are limited to photo time; but, you do what you can. At the reception, you can make up some group shots if you need to. I take charge when it seems appropriate. Every situation is different and you have to see how comfortable they are with you taking the lead. You can tell the bride, "I've done hundreds of weddings, do you want me to help organize everyone?" and see what she says.
Also, a good thing to remember is to have a solid contract with the right clauses in there that protect you from missing photos.
Good luck! |
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10/06/2008 06:47:43 PM · #13 |
You basically need to be a director at a wedding I feel. It sounds like a horrible day Judy. Perhaps if you see something like that happening again, take the bride and groom aside and have a chat with them .. a little heart to heart reminding them that even if things arent going to plan they are there to celebrate their marriage not just a day about flowers etc. I know it sounds easy to say but there is ways around it if things go bust.
I have had a wedding where the bride and groom faught the entire time and the groom didnt want any photographs taken of him at all...they ended up with all the photos they needed, just not what I initially set out to take, I really had to think on my feet on that one.
I am probably the most quiet meek person you could meet but when a wedding has to run to time or there is no photos thats when I step up and become boss without sounding mean to all around. They paid me to do a job and I will get it done.
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