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04/16/2008 04:22:44 PM · #1 |
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in
search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks
in and catches his folks in The Act.
Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride!
Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking
more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his
stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts
moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, daddy! This is the
part where me and the UPS man usually get bucked off!"
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04/16/2008 04:55:14 PM · #2 |
| ohhhhhhhhh that is so bad! |
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04/16/2008 05:33:40 PM · #3 |
Um mah! My poor innocent eyes having to read such filth...imagine that....shock, horror!
Hehehehehe!!
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04/16/2008 05:37:43 PM · #4 |
| you two have been tainted now. How Shocking!! |
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04/16/2008 05:40:50 PM · #5 |
Originally posted by JaimeVinas:
you two have been tainted now. How Shocking!! |
not Judi!!!! no not her!!! I wont believe it :) lol |
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04/16/2008 09:46:16 PM · #6 |
| bump - just 'cause I liked the joke :-) |
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04/16/2008 10:12:33 PM · #7 |
Ha!
Here's my favorite joke in a related vein.
Some doctors invent a machine to transfer the pain of delivery to the father, so they find a couple willing to test it.
When the woman goes to the hospital, they set the transfer to 10%. The husband seems fine with it, so they crank it up to 20%. The mother shows considerably relief, so they keep going all the way to 100%. He seems fine and the mom has the easiest childbirth in history.
They go home a couple of days later to find the mailman dead on the front porch.
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04/16/2008 10:21:12 PM · #8 |
| Ok, I'm going to show my ignorance here...I'm new to this website, and kinda new to most everything on the internet, honestly. What does "bump" mean? lol at least on here, anyway. :oP |
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04/16/2008 10:22:55 PM · #9 |
this thread had disappeared off the front page, so I "bumped" it by typing something to it, to make it go up the top again.
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04/16/2008 10:23:29 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by lunensa:
Ok, I'm going to show my ignorance here...I'm new to this website, and kinda new to most everything on the internet, honestly. What does "bump" mean? lol at least on here, anyway. :oP |
it simply means that someone decided to push the topic back to the top of the page. |
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04/16/2008 10:25:39 PM · #11 |
| Oh! I get it! thank you so much :o) |
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04/16/2008 10:48:15 PM · #12 |
I got this one today, so as long as we are sharing jokes.....
Cajun Negotiation
Boudreaux wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.
One day Boudreaux got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you...' The girl looked at him, then said, 'NO.'
Boudreaux said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... So she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....? Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastar d had all quarters!'
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04/16/2008 10:51:13 PM · #13 |
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04/17/2008 12:48:27 AM · #14 |
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man,
standing alone. She approached him.
'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I
like most -- Cars and Men.'
'What's your name?' she asked.
He replied,
'B.J. Titsenbeer' |
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09/12/2009 11:28:27 AM · #15 |
New Treatment For Sunburn
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible
sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed
with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,
the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline,
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for
him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll
keep the sheets off his legs.'
________________________________________
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09/12/2009 12:14:37 PM · #16 |
What does it take to circumcise a whale?
4 skin divers, (foreskin) |
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09/12/2009 12:37:11 PM · #17 |
or it might be in relation to this joke ? :)
Originally posted by lunensa:
What does "bump" mean? |
Originally posted by JamesKW:
Boudreaux wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.
One day Boudreaux got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you...' The girl looked at him, then said, 'NO.'
Boudreaux said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... So she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....? Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastar d had all quarters!' |
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09/12/2009 04:37:40 PM · #18 |
HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH (Heeheeehee!!!)
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her
excitement..................... not even her parent's nasty divorce...
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best
dressed mother of the bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young
wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.
'Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing
it,' she replied...
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart.
I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, 'Aren't you
going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, 'Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to
the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding..' |
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09/12/2009 10:36:25 PM · #19 |
A conductor of a symphony orchestra was notorious for his raging temper.
One day during an argument over the tempo of a particular passage in a symphony, he lost control and killed his concertmaster with his baton.
He was caught in the act, and after a brief trial was convicted and sentenced to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution, he was strapped in and the electrodes were put in position.
Sparks flew and electricity arced as the juice was turned on.
30 seconds later the electricity was turned off but the conductor just shook his head, blinking, dazed, but very much still alive.
The warden was called in to deal with the situation; he stared in amazement at the prisoner.
The warden said "I've been in the corrections field for nearly 30 years and I've never seen anything like this before! What did you do to survive the shock?"
The prisoner shrugged and said, "Beats me, guess I'm just a bad conductor. . ."
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09/13/2009 09:31:14 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by antares1966:
The prisoner shrugged and said, "Beats me, guess I'm just a bad conductor. . ." |
Oh, GAWD!!!!
PLEASE! Someone just drive a spike through my eye!!!
LOL!!!
Thanks, I'll get some yardage outta this one!
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09/13/2009 10:16:23 AM · #21 |
two guys talking
- son ov a bitch
- speaking of bitch, hows your wife.
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01/16/2014 03:08:52 PM · #22 |
...almost died... extremely funny... at least for me!
*yes, bruoght a dead post!* |
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01/16/2014 03:43:00 PM · #23 |
Originally posted by FocusPoint:
...almost died... extremely funny... at least for me!
*yes, bruoght a dead post!* |
Yes. Very familiar process, LOL!!!! |
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01/16/2014 04:58:57 PM · #24 |
A man is hunting in rural Maine and surprisingly,bags a prize 14 point buck. Soon after loading it up, he is driving,
gets so excited he rolls down a window to ask the first person he sees, who happens to be a farmer,
"is there a taxidermist around here?
the farmer says, "a what"
the man replies, "a taxidermist, you know, someone who mounts animals"
the farmer says, "oh yeah, we got them, but we just call them horse f**kers around here..."
sorry. |
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