Today i was talking to my daughter about getting an external hard drive and backing up all my pictures. And she said, "why? they're just pictures." And for a moment i thought "What!?, are you crazy?" And she reminded me that i had mistakenly deleted all her pictures from the family computer a month ago when i was trying to clear a virus problem. She said it was no big deal. I had a hard time understanding that concept. After giving it some thought I wonder if I could do that. Just deleting all my photos from my computer. All of them. Originals and all. Would my life end? (i'm not saying i'm planning to do this but I find it interesting to consider the possibility.)
I've always felt attached to my photos. Like they are living beings that i've created. I brought them to life and now i must preserve them. I have a hard time deleting even bad shots. But every image only exists because i took the time to capture it. What if i never took the shot? That photo would never exist. That moment went by and will never happen again. It will never exist in a photo. Just like people who were never born. The scene is an egg and the camera is the sperm. If they don't come together the recorded image will not exist. Sometimes when i think about this it makes me want to go out and shoot, just to create life. And when i'm shooting sometimes i'm actually thinking this, and take care to give it the life it deserves.
Sometimes at the end of the day i think about the opportunities i had and the images that weren't taken. Many times i pass a scene and I don't have my camera ready, so I just watch and enjoy it while it exists and mildly regret not being able to give it "life". That it will only exist for this moment and then only afterwards in my memory. That egg has passed. (Now I know there must be something wrong with me).
For example, yesterday I watched the most wonderful sunset, with clouds and amazing reds, oranges, lights and darks. I wanted so badly to get a picture of it but couldn't. I thought how amazing that I was able to see this wonderful scene yet not able to capture it. It was as if this scene was meant for me alone to enjoy and no one else. Many others may have seen the same sunset but not my particular view of it. That was for me, for that moment only.
I think this is ok too. It seems like if i took a picture of it, I would be divulging and exploiting a private communication between God and I. |
