Please critique our 'Seniors Promotion'

08/10/2007 10:03:06 AM · #1

We're hoping to garner some of the senior portrait $$$ this year, and hoping for a few proof-readers to critique / help us improve:

"It's Senior portrait time - If you have received one of our latest promotional offers, congratulations! We know that the costs of being a senior are high, so we've decided to give you 20% off our normal session rate. Your choice of a custom location shoot OR studio session!

Just make an appointment before August 24th, and we will include a FREE 8x10 print from your photo shoot. Refer 3 friends who also use our services, and you will also get a HUGE 16 x 20 print of your choice! Simply print your name on the back of the business card and give one to all your friends - its that easy!

To schedule your appointment today, please click on 'Contact' above, or call us @ 423.595.3645.

(Note - It is not necessary to have the portraits taken before August 24th in order to receive these special offers. Simply schedule and pay for the session, and we will gladly honor the discount!))"

please tell us how to improve this ad - thanks!

Message edited by author 2007-08-10 10:30:37.

08/10/2007 10:12:57 AM · #2

where/how are you planing on running the ad?

08/10/2007 10:21:08 AM · #3

My first post is listed on our smugmug page, and we are also handing out 250 printed business cards printed with:

'Book your Senior Portraits by Aug 24th, get a FREE 8x10. Refer 3 friends who schedule a session, and we will give you a HUGE 16x20 print - FREE!!'

Message edited by author 2007-08-10 10:21:30.

08/10/2007 10:23:28 AM · #4

remember these are senior's your catering too... maybe you should print the promo on a 16x20...lol :) other than that the ad itself looks good to me

AJSullivan

08/10/2007 10:23:36 AM · #5

I would leave out dollar amounts, and disclose them once you get them in to meet with you or once you are talking to them face to face. Thats the benefit of using percentages - when you say something is 20% off, you bring them in, but then when you tell them how much it is (in print) you kind of lose them, especially since its only $15. If you tell them via phone or face to face the pricing, you have the opportunity to sell them if they seem hesitant.

08/10/2007 10:31:16 AM · #6

Good point about the actual money - i had debated that in my head... glad someone agrees LOL

08/10/2007 10:35:18 AM · #7

btw have you though about doing up some poster sixed ads to put up in areas that seniors frequent where you are? not as personal as handing out cards but could be effective non the less

AJSullivan

08/10/2007 10:38:46 AM · #8

Actually, to be honest, you want to target this at moms, not at students. Im still fresh enough out of school to remember that none of us really gave a flying shit about our senior portraits, but our moms all did.

08/10/2007 10:58:02 AM · #9

Originally posted by ajdelaware:

you are briliant