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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Goodbye Bob Monkhouse
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12/29/2003 07:20:11 AM · #1
Quips of a genius:

"I got my start in silent radio."

"The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time."

"Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

"My wife's see-through nightie is now bi-focal."

"Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional."

"If you don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't go to yours."

"A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away."

"I swam in the dead sea when it was only critically ill."

"My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now."



"What's a geriatric? A German footballer scoring three goals."

"I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn't a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights."

"I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard."

"Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money."

"I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer."

"My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh."
12/29/2003 10:38:44 AM · #2
What is all this referring to?
12/29/2003 10:52:21 AM · #3
Bob Monkhouse died in his sleep of cancer this morning, these are quotes from his life I guess.
12/29/2003 01:50:54 PM · #4
Originally posted by KarenB:

What is all this referring to?


British comedian Bob Monkhouse, who wrote jokes for Bob Hope and Frank Sinatra in a 50-year showbusiness career, died on Monday aged 75, his manager said.

Monkhouse died at home in southern England with his wife Jackie at his bedside after a two-year battle against prostate cancer.

"He was one of the great English comedians," said Peter Prichard, his manager of 38 years. "He was a total professional who loathed going on holiday.

Monkhouse was one of Britain's most prolific entertainers, working as a stand-up comic, on radio and as the host of an endless string of TV gameshows.

Friends said he had a remarkable memory for jokes and that he liked to poke fun at his popular image as a smarmy performer with a permanent suntan.

"That was one of the most endearing things -- the way he could make fun of himself," comic writer Barry Cryer told BBC radio.

Monkhouse was known for his rapid-fire one-liners, of which he himself was often the target.

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian," he would quip. "Well, they're not laughing now..."

Two of his joke books crammed with gags, plots and ideas, were stolen in 1995. He offered a 20,000-pound ($35,500) reward and was reunited with them the following year.

Some commentators drily said they would double the reward for the books to remain lost.

Born in 1928, Monkhouse started his career as a comic book artist while still a schoolboy in southeast London.

He turned down the chance to inherit his father's custard and jelly business to pursue a career as an entertainer.

After a compulsory stint with the Royal Air Force, he appeared on BBC radio and television as the "British Bob Hope."

Monkhouse wrote for some of the biggest names in showbusiness, including Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, before forging his own career.

Asked about his health at a recent awards ceremony, he joked: "I can still enjoy sex at 74 -- I live at 75, so it's no distance."
12/29/2003 02:59:33 PM · #5
I had the pleasure of watching a live performance he did some 20 years ago,
He was a gentleman and a brilliant Television/cabaret star.
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