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02/20/2007 06:03:14 PM · #1 |
How do you let your furry companion of 18 years go? I took my baby into the vet today because she wasn't eating well. The news I got back is terrible and they aren't sure if she will last until Friday (but they aren't sure). Do I put her our of her misery before she dies? What if she dies at home? How do you deal with that? My heart is absolutely breaking as she is the only child I've ever had and can't image not having her with me. I know it's quality of life that matters, but when you aren't prepared to let them go without some warning...it just rocks your world...it's killing me. I don't know what to do...and I'm out of tears.
Sorry to vent, but I'm just devestated and feel so sad. The next couple of days are going to be really rough.
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02/20/2007 06:15:48 PM · #2 |
I am sorry for you..I have had to do it twice for 18 year old kitties.
It is the time to cry your heart out and do what is best for your friend.
I like to think of my pets as angels sent to me..when someone else needs them, they get called back to "work" with someone else :)
I am so sorry, I know only time heals that sadness..Good Luck, and remember that you gave her the best life you could and think of only happy memories.
edited to add...she is beautiful
Message edited by author 2007-02-20 18:16:28. |
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02/20/2007 06:19:39 PM · #3 |
| My first dog died at home of old age. The second I put to sleep when he was suffering badly from seizures at 14 years of age. Neither is easy but the the latter was easier to deal with. |
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02/20/2007 06:24:26 PM · #4 |
I am so sorry to hear that!
It will heal. It may take years but eventually it will heal (or so I have been told).
I know exactly what you are going through and my heart and thoughts are with you.
<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> |
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02/20/2007 06:28:36 PM · #5 |
i still cry over pets i've lost...i hate having to put them down...but it is necessary sometimes...it sounds like you've done your best in raising her... i hope she gets better...
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02/20/2007 06:46:09 PM · #6 |
18 years is a long life for a cat. 5 years ago I had to put my 17 year old "Emmy" down. I thought I was prepared, but the emotions took over...but then I got a kitten that "plays" (loosely defined)with the 18 year old "Ollie" and at the same time the kitty "Nutmeg"...more often "nut case!" seems to keep Ollie young. I thought maybe my experience with what you are going through would help. ~~~HUGS~~~
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02/20/2007 06:53:19 PM · #7 |
Big hugs go out to you. We just had to put our Sheperd down, due to illness. Its never an easy decesion. Just follow your heart.
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02/20/2007 07:15:21 PM · #8 |
| It's always sad to lose a cat (or dog). I've made two galleries, Pukkie and Achmed. The first one was just old, my son found him dead (bad situation). (we buried him (the cat) in our garden), the second one was killed by a car. I'll think it's a hard decision to put her asleep or not. Hope you can make the right choice. |
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02/20/2007 07:15:52 PM · #9 |
Saying goodbye to a friend is very hard, be they human or not. She's still here right now and you have the gift of a little time to spend with her, loving her, before she needs to leave. Look at her and listen to her and you will know the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
Remember she will always live on in your heart and in your memories of her.
{{{hugs}}} |
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02/20/2007 07:30:10 PM · #10 |
I lost both my 18 year old cats late last year. One I took to the vet like you did. They told me she was very sick and wouldn't last much longer.
She was weak but not in pain. I comforted her for a week. She was able to eat and sit upright. On the last day she couldn't sit upright and wouldn't eat. I took her into the vet and she passed away as we walked in.
She was happy until the end. The other simply passed away a couple of months later. She was happy and purring in the morning and passed while I was at work.
My advice is, if your pal is not in pain, don't hurry the process. The second you feel she is suffering, take her in.
My heart goes out to you.
Miss my girls a a lot.
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02/20/2007 07:31:28 PM · #11 |
It's a hard dicission, but you have to consider what's best for the animal. Most people wait to long because we don't want to let go. But animals aren't like people that can tell you how much it hurts. And rarely does anyone ever say "I let them go to soon" rather than "I waited to long".
But it's never easy... at least for most of us.
Mike
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02/20/2007 07:31:34 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by hajeka:
(we buried him (the cat) in our garden) |
Since this was brought up.... In many municipalities it's illegal to bury a pet at home. Check with the vet before you do, they'll know the regulations for your area. If it is allowed, they also give you advice on the proper way of going about it to prevent future problems. |
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02/20/2007 07:43:13 PM · #13 |
Kat, you've gotten very heartfelt advice here. I'd like to add that when/if you have to make that decision, stay with her. When I took Amadeus to the vet, I stayed with him...while my heart was breaking, it was incredibly peaceful, unlike what I had imagined would transpire. As I held him, he looked up at me then rubbed chin along my entire hand leaving his scent. Although 3 yrs have passed I am still moved to tears trying to tell you this, I miss him soooo much.
Please give her a nice cuddle for me....You will be in my thoughts
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02/20/2007 08:00:11 PM · #14 |
This is truly a tough decision. For a number of our cats, we had them humanely put down.
One of our cats, that we had for 18 years. And who had been the dominant cat until her dying day. Even when she just hobbled to the dinner bowl, all the other cats moved out of her way. We didn't put down. There are mixed feelings about it.
I felt, that she had lived her whole life with such dignity. And that she was a part of the family. We don't necessarily put down members of the family. It's a tough choice. My father, is still somewhat torn. He wasn't prepared to for her dying to take so long. Putting an animal down is the humane thing to do. Where as I felt that we did the human thing to do. She sat on her favorite chair for a day. Mostly sleeping not moving much. She knew she was dying. We made her as comfortable as we possible could. She was never alone. One of us was always nearby. Often we caressed her and pet her and let her know we were there and that we cared. She passed surrounded by her family. Very much as any human member of the family would have gone.
That said, her last moments were not easy. A few minutes of occasional twitches and eventually a series of short convulsions and she was gone. This is a hard thing to watch. Some would say it was inhumane, I will argue it was quite human.
Now my Eli who lived for almost 20 yrs and I had him from kindergarten. He slept on my pillow and I on his head. I loved that cat. Many a fond childhood memory (ie: "watch, as the brave cat sticks his head in the ferocious humans mouth"). *lol*
Often in my childhood he was my only friend. I did not get to see him die. He was quite old, we knew his time was coming but we didn't know when. Heck, we thought he was going to die 4 yrs before hand...even longer...but he never did. I sadly, was not around to see him go. This integral part of my life and soul. I never got to say good-bye. And that was hard. He still pops into my dreams now and then..."you good ol' cat".
So which is better, I don't think anyone can really say. My Eli lived several years quite happily, after we thought he was going to start to die. Had we put him down years earlier we'd have lost a lot. That said, there are times when you know the end is truly unquestionably near. In which case, being put down may be the kindest option. (Just make sure you're there with your beloved furline. They deserve that much.) And perhaps, you've reached a point where irregardless of fur, they are family. And you can't do anything to them you wouldn't do to your own family. So instead of putting them to sleep you stay with them and endure the pain of watching them die so that they know you love them.
A good friend of mine once expressed that he measured his decision of whether to be friends with someone by whether he was willing to bury them. In other words, are the benefits of being that person's friend greater than the pain of losing them? If so, then they're worth being a friend.
It's an insightful measure. I am sorry I have no answers for you. I can only share what I can share.
- Saj
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02/20/2007 08:11:55 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by theSaj:
A good friend of mine once expressed that he measured his decision of whether to be friends with someone by whether he was willing to bury them. In other words, are the benefits of being that person's friend greater than the pain of losing them? If so, then they're worth being a friend.
It's an insightful measure. I am sorry I have no answers for you. I can only share what I can share. |
I lost a very dear friend to breast cancer on February 2. We were friends before she got sick, became closer during her illness, and it hurts like hell to see her name on speeddial or in my email address book and not have her there to reach out to. But I wouldn't trade the happy memories for anything. She made my life richer by being in it.
There is a similar emotion at play with the animals in my life. I know chances are very good that I will outlive them, and yet the joy they bring me outweighs the sorrow that will inevitably come when they pass.
I like to think your heart grows a little bit bigger with each being that you love, so you can lose a piece of it and still survive. |
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02/20/2007 10:29:22 PM · #16 |
I really needed this gang...ty! She slept all day since we brought her home, but not eating and not getting around much. Tomorrow we get the second opinion from her normal doc.
I will always remember how well she took care of me when I was sick or had had surgery and it kills me that I can do nothing for her at this moment. She will always be in my heart and my memories, no matter what.
The support here has really helped. TOMORROW will be an agonizing day no matter what.
My heart is breaking into millions of tiny pieces right now.....boohoohooho! :( |
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02/20/2007 11:53:37 PM · #17 |
Hey, so sorry to hear about your cat. Such a sad time when we face the inevateble about our pets. I've lost a few pets over the years, never fun.
Try to remember the good times, I found that it always makes me smile to remember the silly things my pets did to make me smile.
Hope you feel better soon.
Sending lots of love your way!
Jan.
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02/21/2007 12:00:00 AM · #18 |
Rainbow Bridge
I'm so sorry about your kitty! It's always hard when you have to let your best friend go. I've been there before with horses, cats, and dogs. I hope the link above gives you comfort. Have tissues handy :( |
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02/21/2007 04:16:00 AM · #19 |
| [Crying} Thanks Becky...it's a beautiful poem! I took lots of pictures tonight... |
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02/21/2007 05:51:54 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by bex85:
Rainbow Bridge
I'm so sorry about your kitty! It's always hard when you have to let your best friend go. I've been there before with horses, cats, and dogs. I hope the link above gives you comfort. Have tissues handy :( |
Ohhhhhhhh ... That is SO sweet ...
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02/21/2007 11:26:40 AM · #21 |
Oh my dear shipmate....I am so sorry to hear this morning of your sweet kitty. My heart is with yours...I have 6 (six) housecats myself, two of which are getting quite up in years. My Matisse is 18 also and my Max is 12. Our pets are so much more than mere pets...they are family...they are friends....they are true companions. Whatever I can do, I am here for you Kat.
Elizabeth
'elizadeb' - DPC Pirates |
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