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03/31/2006 11:55:20 AM · #1 |
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.
Oh and......
-Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
-Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
-Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
-Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
-Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
-Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
-Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Good old Great Britain ,you must love it
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03/31/2006 11:59:24 AM · #2 |
| Pretty funny. Although, a lot (if not all) of these affirmations apply to Canada and many other places as well. Stupidity must be universal... |
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03/31/2006 12:15:30 PM · #3 |
That is good. Let me try to make an exact replica of this with "America" plugged in. Some are identical...here I go:
Being American is about driving in a German car to a pseudo-Irish pub for an English pint, then travelling home, grabbing take-out Chinese or fast food, to sit on comfy Lazyboy recliners and watch American reality shows on a HDTV.
And the most American thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign-made or politically incorrect.
Oh and.....
-Only in America... can a pizza get to your house fast on any sporting event like the Super Bowl
-Only in America... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
-Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
-Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. And have decided a teller is on the verge of extinction.
-Only in America...do we have basketball hoops on every driveway and inevitably always have a tattered net and deflated ball.
-Only in America...do we utilize cell phones as if we are on the cutting edge of technology, but in fact Japan and many European countries have been using our "new" stuff for years.
-Only in America...are there handicapped parking spot abusers who run into the store to get some beer, usually after drinking all night anyway.
Not to Mention..
Americans call fairy lights...."christmas lights"
Americans call the sole of the foot.... the "bottom of the foot"
Americans call jumpers... "sweaters".
Anyway, good old America. I don't have clever stats to include, but it was an attempt to show many similarities and some differences. Good post, faces.
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03/31/2006 12:34:43 PM · #4 |
| To me as Indian something funny about british is listening to Geoffery Boycott's comentary where rubish becomes rooobish, it is funny |
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03/31/2006 12:40:21 PM · #5 |
Lol ,that is funny
Originally posted by Cutter:
That is good. Let me try to make an exact replica of this with "America" plugged in. Some are identical...here I go:
Being American is about driving in a German car to a pseudo-Irish pub for an English pint, then travelling home, grabbing take-out Chinese or fast food, to sit on comfy Lazyboy recliners and watch American reality shows on a HDTV.
And the most American thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign-made or politically incorrect.
Oh and.....
-Only in America... can a pizza get to your house fast on any sporting event like the Super Bowl
-Only in America... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
-Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
-Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. And have decided a teller is on the verge of extinction.
-Only in America...do we have basketball hoops on every driveway and inevitably always have a tattered net and deflated ball.
-Only in America...do we utilize cell phones as if we are on the cutting edge of technology, but in fact Japan and many European countries have been using our "new" stuff for years.
-Only in America...are there handicapped parking spot abusers who run into the store to get some beer, usually after drinking all night anyway.
Not to Mention..
Americans call fairy lights...."christmas lights"
Americans call the sole of the foot.... the "bottom of the foot"
Americans call jumpers... "sweaters".
Anyway, good old America. I don't have clever stats to include, but it was an attempt to show many similarities and some differences. Good post, faces. |
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03/31/2006 12:41:05 PM · #6 |
Sounds like more than a few Darwen Award contenders in there.
Originally posted by facesastheycome:
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. |
Is this for real? We used to do this at primary school ... for the buzz :D
Not that I'm gonna let a little battery bother me. I survived accidently connecting myself to the mains :-/
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03/31/2006 12:42:39 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by facesastheycome:
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
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Now, if they'd used eight separate tiolets, a lot of bother would have been avoided. |
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03/31/2006 12:48:35 PM · #8 |
Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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03/31/2006 12:57:54 PM · #9 |
| Only in Canada... can a lawsuit result from a ten-year-old kid finding a discarded paper coffee cup from Tim Hortons, our favourite doughnut place. True story. |
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03/31/2006 01:06:35 PM · #10 |
ThFirstly, TH should have posted a clear warning on the cup, something like: âCaution: Coffee is very hot; and discarding without rolling up the rim could lead to severe disagreements.â
is is unbeliavable and so funny at the same time ,what can you say ? I love this thread..
Originally posted by Louis:
Only in Canada... can a lawsuit result from a ten-year-old kid finding a discarded paper coffee cup from Tim Hortons, our favourite doughnut place. True story. |
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03/31/2006 01:09:08 PM · #11 |
You are never going to belive who is the country with the most law suits every year ....Australia !
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03/31/2006 01:13:05 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by bod:
Sounds like more than a few Darwen Award contenders in there.
Originally posted by facesastheycome:
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. |
Is this for real? We used to do this at primary school ... for the buzz :D
Not that I'm gonna let a little battery bother me. I survived accidently connecting myself to the mains :-/ |
The mains???? that's nothing, just a pathetic couple of hundred volts.
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03/31/2006 01:20:50 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by facesastheycome:
...In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet. |
ROTFLOL - Just to prove that life can get worse at any point even after you think you are on rock bottom. Nothing like a cracked skull to go with the hangover :-) |
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03/31/2006 01:24:21 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by Cyndane:
Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. |
Actually, those are ticks -- a tic is an uncotrollable muscle spasm or palsy; also an accurate description : ) |
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03/31/2006 01:25:45 PM · #15 |
| "British humour" I don't get it :P |
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03/31/2006 01:35:55 PM · #16 |
drive up atm's with braille. yes, hilarious.
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03/31/2006 02:11:02 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by Cutter:
drive up atm's with braille. yes, hilarious. |
Blind people are often adept at using taxicabs. |
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03/31/2006 06:57:26 PM · #18 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by Cutter:
drive up atm's with braille. yes, hilarious. |
Blind people are often adept at using taxicabs. |
i guess you could take a cab thru the drive thru. But it would make more sense to me to just go right in and get direct assistance. But you are right, I am sure cab or friend driving you there is probably why. But it is still a hilarious concept....
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04/04/2006 12:19:14 PM · #19 |
I used to do 90% of my banking by ATM because I worked during banking hours. If I were blind, I can't say that I would be working for sure, but it might occur that I would need some cash from an ATM and I might need to do it during non-banking hours.
It's still a bit silly though. Except that they don't make special buttons for the drive-thru, they just use the same buttons for all of them.
Anyhow, I remember when I was in grade 5, there was a brainiac classmate of mine who thought it might be fun to put a pin across the two terminals on one of those large 6 volt flashlight batteries that used to be common. I came across it when it was red hot. Being young and not having any idea how to react, I immediately grabbed the pin and pulled it off the terminals.
Oddly enough, it made a strip of what appeared to be gold colored flesh. It was very odd. I still have a barely visible line scar on my finger.
Even weirder, I never told anyone about it. Neither the teacher nor my parents have any idea about this. It was extremely painful and I wandered around for 20 minutes outside. |
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04/04/2006 12:26:48 PM · #20 |
What do you call someone who can speak three or more languages?
Multi-lingual
What do you call someone who can speak two languages?
Bi-lingual
What do you call someone who can only speak one language?
An American |
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04/04/2006 01:38:19 PM · #21 |
Originally posted by General:
To me as Indian something funny about british is listening to Geoffery Boycott's comentary where rubish becomes rooobish, it is funny |
Are you taking the p*** out of the Yorkshire accent???? :)))))
P
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04/04/2006 01:44:49 PM · #22 |
| haha.. that would be unforgivable! |
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