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01/16/2006 11:39:15 AM · #1
Someone sent me this. I think it's cute. LOL...

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. Claude announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch. Suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

Shit!" said the Hypnotist...

It took weeks to clean up the senior citizens center.

01/16/2006 11:49:38 AM · #2
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days."

The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal."

So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in."

The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW."

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