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11/29/2005 05:42:36 AM · #1 |
(this is a 28kb file ;-)
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11/29/2005 06:12:29 AM · #2 |
hehe, good one :-)
"So what did you score on that one?"
"oh, I got a 4"
"I thought I saw you swing at least 3 times over there in the tall grass"
"oh, a couple of those were just practice swings, you know"
"hm, never heard anybody curse like that after a practice swing."
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11/29/2005 07:03:08 AM · #3 |
An avid golfer was going to ask his beautiful girlfriend to marry him but he had to set the rules before he would commit to marriage. "Honey" he said, "I love you with all my heart and I would like to marry you, but there is one thing you have to know. Golf is my first love. If I decide to play then that will take precident over every thing else. I don't care if we have other plans or even if your parents are coming. If you can accept this then I know we will have a long and loving relationship." The girlfriend responded "I am so glad that you are being honest with me because I have something to confide in you as well...I am a hooker" The golfer looked at her with a smile on his face and said "Honey, that is not a problem. Stand closer to the ball and turn the club face flat to the target." (Ta dum:)
Message edited by author 2005-11-29 07:03:37. |
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11/29/2005 07:40:23 AM · #4 |
The guys were in the club house when in crawled Sam, all battered and bloody. "Oh my gosh, Sam, what happened?"
"Well, I was on 14, you know along the pasture? And I sliced my tee shot into the pasture. I was looking for my ball, and there was this cow standing there swishing it's tail around. Well, I couldn't help but notice, there was a ball stuck in it's crack. So I go over to look, and it's a Top Flite, and you know I always shoot Ultras. Well, there was this women there obviously looking for a ball also. So, the last thing I remember is, I lifted up the cows tail and said 'Hey Lady, this look like yours?' "
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11/29/2005 10:20:47 AM · #5 |
Fred and Bert are playing golf at the local course early one morning. The hole they are on is close to the main road through the village. As they are walking along the fairway, Fred sees a hearse driving along the road, so he stops and removes his cap until it has passed. Bert says to him "That was a touching thing to do, Fred."
Fred replies "Well, it's the least I could do. After all, we were married for twenty-five years until she died."
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11/29/2005 10:24:12 AM · #6 |
A young man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
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